


The anchor to my ship in storm

by tenshi6



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Arguing, Author's Universe, Awkward Flirting, Awkwardness, Blow Jobs, Breaking down, Dating, Depression, Drinking, Emotional Instability, FIFA World Cup, Family, First Time, Friendship, Giving Up, Götzeus (side-pairing), Head Injury, Horseback Riding, Hospital, Interviews, Jealousy, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Making Up, Slow Build, Sport injury, Suicide Attempt, Teasing, Texting, football player Thomas, med student Mario, mentions of various movies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-29
Updated: 2015-05-12
Packaged: 2018-02-15 04:58:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 54,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2216619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenshi6/pseuds/tenshi6
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thomas suffers a serious injury during the World Cup Finals. Mario is an intern at the hospital. He helps Thomas with his struggles and soon they become good friends. But is it just friendship they both feel?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> First, I still suck at writing summaries, sorry!
> 
> Rating will go up to Explicit and I'll also keep updating the tags whenever I post a new chapter ;)
> 
> This work was beta-ed by the wonderful [bloodsugar](http://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodsugar/pseuds/bloodsugar).

They were in the Finals. It seemed so unreal they could barely believe it. Of course they had been training extremely hard for the World Cup, but still, they didn't expect to get this far. However, there was no time to celebrate. The big game was on the next day and they needed to rest. Obviously, no one could sleep peacefully before such an important event.

Thomas was lying on the bed, awake, in his jeans and a simple black T-shirt, not bothering to change into his boxers. He'd been awake for hours now, staring at the ceiling while listening to music on his iPod. His roommate, Mats Hummels, was snoring loudly across the room.

Thomas was pleasantly excited and equally nervous about the upcoming game. He couldn't wipe his stupid grin off of his face. His dream was coming true. If they won against the Argentine National Team tomorrow, he thought he would be happy forever.

Of course, it wouldn't mean to give up football – that would never happen. It was his life and he had no idea what he would do without it. Maybe become a coach when he got too old to play but right now, he didn't want to think about it. All that mattered was the Final. And if the outcome depended on him, they would definitely win.

~

The crowd was practically roaring and Thomas felt adrenaline bursting through his veins, giving him pleasant goosebumps. Yeah, this was it. The moment he'd been living for. Hundreds of thousands of people staring at the screen from every corner of the earth, cheering for Germany. It was mind-blowing. He was determined not to let them down. He almost cried when the crowd sang the German national anthem with them.

~

Only ten minutes left and neither team had managed to score a single goal so far. You could touch the tension in the air. Thomas knew he couldn't let anxiety get the better of him. No one in the team had that luxury. They had to stay focused and calm, playing better and harder than before. They had to give their best performance ever.

Seven minutes left. The Argentines started to become desperate, their moves uncontrolled, their passes sloppier. It was their big chance. Erik managed to intercept the ball and started towards the net. Thomas was running with him simultaneously a good six meters away, waiting for a pass. He got it.

Sidestepping a defender, Thomas continued running, he was still too far from the net and couldn't risk giving the ball away. He could feel two Argentine players chasing him only a step behind. Another player was coming at him from across and he knew it was a now or never chance. He crossed the ball just before he collided with the other player with brutal force and he doubled over, flying helplessly in the air. He saw everything in slow-motion; the ball going straight into the net only missing the keeper's hand by a few inches, the fans jumping and screaming and his team shouting in triumph. Then the back of his head connected with the ground and everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, a lot of people are complaining that there are not enough Müllez fics so I'm trying to help ;)
> 
> My updates may take a while but take heart, I'll not abandon it. I have almost the whole story in my notebook, but I'm quite busy right now, and so the typing and beta-ing might take some extra time. I'm kinda going through a hard time now, so please, be patient.
> 
> If you have questions, suggestions, opinions, constructive criticism or anything else, don't hesitate to leave a comment. I love comments, they always motivate me to write more (just saying).


	2. Chapter One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought you would like some Müllez after today's game ;)
> 
> Just to make things clear, the World Cup is in Germany in this story.
> 
> Beta-ing is done again by the awesome [bloodsugar](http://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodsugar/pseuds/bloodsugar). Thank you sweetheart! <3

Mario Gomez was an intern at the Munich Private Hospital. His shift was over but he stayed since he didn't have anywhere else to be. He was sitting on the floor with four children in the Kids' Room, watching the World Cup Finals.

Two adorable girls at around the age of seven, Petra and Henriett, had cancer but the therapy was proving to be successful. They were leaning against Mario's side, watching the game with interest. Peter, a ten year old boy had a fractured leg, so he was lying on a bed, while Michael, who had an auto-immune disease and had to come for a check up regularly, was lying on the floor, drawing.

Mario loved spending time with the children, who were so full of joy and hopes and dreams; it always brightened his day no matter how sad he got. He didn't pay much attention to the game, he didn't even like football, but the kids insisted and Germany was playing in the final after all. Also, he knew a few big names since his father was one of the team's private doctors. If a player suffered a serious injury his father would perform the surgery at this very hospital.

That was the reason he could be an intern at a place like this. He reluctantly had to admit his father's influence came in handy at certain times. Of course, it was awful at first - the doctors, the nurses, even the janitors kept giving him funny looks, whispering to each other whenever he appeared. But after a good month they started to see Mario was good at his job and he wasn't there only because of his father. They were nicer to him now.

"Go, go, go!" Petra shouted enthusiastically, snapping Mario out of his thoughts. He smiled fondly at her then turned his attention to the screen where Erik Durm was intercepting the ball. He knew the name because Peter was also a huge fan and told Mario a lot of information during the game. Mario was amazed by his knowledge.

The screen showed a cute guy, whose name Mario couldn't quite remember, kicking the ball and scoring a goal. The kids screamed "GOAL!" so loud, Mario had to cover his ears but he was grinning. Well, he was German after all, and they were about to win the World Cup.

The screen changed again and showed Thomas Müller – a commentator declared the player's name – lying on the pitch, motionless. The medical team was already there along with a few of his team mates, all of them looking quite worried. The children were worried too.

"What happened?" "Why is he not standing up?" "They must have run into each other." "He'll get better, right, Mario?"

Mario bit his lip. He wasn't an expert on sport injuries but judging by Müller's state he doubted he would be well soon. He gave the kids a reassuring smile and said "Of course, don't worry." He didn't have the heart to tell them the truth. He was pretty sure his father's phone was already ringing as he watched the medical team carry Müller off the pitch.

~

The next day Mario could barely get to the entrance of the hospital due to the crowd. It was crazy. He practically had to elbow his way inside and that's how he knew Müller was there. He hated when someone famous was at the hospital, it made everyone tense and easily irritated and the noise outside was almost unbearable.

Also, he found it pretty disgusting, what the press was doing to celebrities and their families. They had no sense of discretion. Who wanted to answer stupid questions like 'How do you feel' when their children were in life-saving surgery? It wasn't a zoo, it was a freaking hospital, a private one at that.

Today Mario had to check on the patients and he was grateful. He wouldn't want to assist in any kind of surgery when everyone was so edgy. Checking if everything was okay with the patients was easy, except for the fact that it included Müller. He gulped thickly after reading the name. He always got nervous around celebrities and their families because some preferred to be treated specially while others just wanted to be treated like any other human being and it was confusing. You could never tell which type they were beforehand.

He left checking Müller for last. Sometime during the morning Mario had run into his father who looked extremely exhausted but briefly updated Mario on Müller's state. He was currently unconscious and they didn't know when he would wake up. His head injury was severe.

Mario sighed. He couldn't put it out any longer. Bracing himself he headed towards the floor where Müller's room was. The corridor was full of people and it made Mario's stomach do back flips. It was funny, how he always felt uncomfortable around famous people when his father was technically one of them.

He saw several men in jerseys – Müller's team mates; a man in a suit, and a woman in blue business casual – they were probably managers; and Joachim Löw, the coach of the national team. Mario manoeuvered his way to the door, his gaze fixed on the floor, occasionally mumbling 'sorry' to make his way.

Thankfully, only close family was allowed inside and that was always a relief. He saw two people in the room - Müller's parents, he figured. The woman was sitting beside Müller's bed while her husband was standing next to her, a supportive hand placed on her shoulder. Mario greeted them quietly and they nodded, not saying a word. Mario explained to them what he was doing and asked if they needed anything. They didn't.

Mario left quietly and was practically attacked with questions in the corridor. He replied with "I'm not allowed to say anything." and left quickly.

~

The next three days were not different from the first but then the crowd outside started to dissolve. The team had interviews and parties to attend to and the press had found other interesting things to gossip about, and so by the end of the week Mario didn't have cold sweat forming on his forehead every time he had to check on Müller.

~

Thomas heard a machine beeping softly close to his ear. He wanted to open his eyes but his eyelids felt heavy and he had to try it several times before managing to do so. He barely had time to look around because he was immediately greeted with his mother's relieved expression. She was on the brink of tears and Thomas didn't understand why.

"Thomas? Thomas." She squeezed his hand tightly then raised her voice, turning towards the door. "Nurse, nurse! Someone come!"

Thomas got confused. Nurse? He took a glance around and noted he was probably in a hospital though he couldn't quite remember how he got there. Said nurse came in a hurry, closely following a doctor. Thomas tried to sit up and but they ordered him not to.

"What happened?" Thomas asked, the panic of not knowing slowly creeping up his back. The doctor and the nurse were occupied with checking the monitors and his pulse – or rather, pretended to be. Even his mother took a sudden interest in her smart phone which she cursed so often. "What happened to me?" Came the demand. He could briefly remember the game. "The final. Did we win?"

The doctor gave the nurse – Elisabeth, her name tag read, - a meaningful look and she ushered Thomas' mother out. Thomas panicked when the doctor turned to him with a serious face. That never meant anything good.

"I'm Dr. José Gomez. You suffered a serious head injury during your last game and I performed brain surgery." He stated and Thomas gulped thickly, listening to him while holding his breath back. "You were in coma for eight days."

"Ohh." Thomas felt terribly stupid and wished he could have come up with something better but he didn't know how he was supposed to react. He didn't feel much different, except for his dull headache and the feeling of IVs attached to his wrists. "What- when can I leave?" It was the only question coming to mind.

"We must run some tests to decide that. Today, you have to rest. We will start examinations tomorrow morning."

Thomas nodded again. "About the final…?"

The doctor smiled. "You won. Congratulations."

A stupid grin tugged the corners of Thomas' mouth upward. They'd won. Even though he couldn't remember much and probably missed all the victory celebrations, they had won. Just a few more days in the hospital and he would be out, celebrating with the world. Everything was going to be okay.


	3. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was also beta-ed by the amazing [bloodsugar](http://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodsugar/pseuds/bloodsugar). Thank you Sweetheart! <3

The news about Thomas Müller waking up from his coma spread quicker than fire and by the end of the day the crowd was back in front of the hospital. Mario was stressed again because he had to go to Müller's room now that the footballer was awake. Mario had often had bad experiences with celebrities. They were ignorant and annoying, thinking they were above other people. Müller's parents were nice but that didn't mean their son wasn't a stuck-up douchebag.

However Mario had to swallow his worries if he wanted to do his job so he gathered his courage and entered the room, surprised to see Müller alone. Mario forced a smile and greeted him. Thomas nodded back, smiling hesitantly.

"Is everything okay?" Mario asked.

"Yeah, I guess." Thomas mumbled, then looked at Mario questioningly. "What are you doing?"

"Changing your IV bottle.".

"Oh, okay." They were silent for a while for which Mario was grateful. Then Thomas broke the silence. "When will I be allowed to eat normal food?"

"I don't know. When the doctors says so." Mario felt so stupid but it was the truth. How on Earth would he know that?

"Aren't you a doctor?" Thomas looked genuinely surprised.

"No, I'm an intern."

"And you're allowed _here_?"

There he goes… asshole.

"Well, everyone is treated the same way here. Everyone is _special_." Mario replied sharply, his tone mocking. He knew there was no point in arguing but it was hard to resist. Why did famous people think they had to be treated differently?

To his honest surprise, Müller looked sorry.

"I didn't mean to offend you. It's just unusual." Mario nodded. 'Whatever.' "So, you're still at med school, right? Which year?"

"Two more years to go." Mario replied.

Thomas grinned at that. "Wow, then you're smart, aren't you?"

Mario eyed him suspiciously; expecting him to make fun of him but Thomas was just trying to start a conversation. He managed a short laugh. "Yeah, I like to think so."

Müller extended a hand, smiling. "It's Thomas, by the way."

"Yeah, I know." They shook hands. "I'm Mario."

Okay, maybe Thomas wasn't a total ass. And he was pretty handsome.

~

The next morning Thomas woke up early, eager to take those tests and go home at last. He was excited. The fact that he had been in coma for eight days still didn't sink in. It felt like he had only slept longer than usual. He didn't feel much different.

That was until Dr. Gomez asked him to stand up.

Thomas swayed on his feet and the nurse had to steady him. His legs felt terrifyingly weak.

"Are you feeling dizzy?"

"No, why?" Thomas frowned. The doctor didn't reply, only asked the nurse to bring a wheelchair. Thomas pointed at the thing and whined. "Is that really necessary?"

"Yes." The doctor replied firmly. "You've been lying for more than a week, you're unsteady at the moment. You will need to do some gymnastics." Thomas nodded in understanding. He wasn't happy but he figured the doctor didn't care much about that. Also, he had to admit the doctor had a point.

"First, we are going to do a brain scan." Dr. Gomez clarified and Thomas shrugged nonchalantly.

"Okay."

~

The serious yet worried look on the doctor's face didn't promise much good. They were done with the scanning and Thomas was sitting on the edge of the bed in the CT scan room. He was panicking again. "What's wrong?"

"We are not entirely sure." Dr. Gomez replied. "I'll have to ask you to stand with your feet together and close your eyes."

Thomas didn't understand what it would prove but he did it anyway. Or rather, he wanted to do it. His legs felt weak which was not a surprise; but he steadied himself and closed his eyes. The world started spinning around him and he swayed uncontrollably, stepping for right to left and left to right, trying to regain his balance. He ended up leaning against the wall. His eyes snapped open.

"What is it? What's happening to me?!" He demanded in a trembling tone.

"Mr. Müller, please, sit and calm down."

"No, just tell me what is wrong." He insisted, sucking in a shaky breath.

"You've suffered a serious hit on the back of your head. Apparently it has affected your cerebellum, a part of the human brain where movements are being controlled. We need to run more tests to know how serious the damage is."

"Wha-what does that mean?"

"Let's not jump into conclusions." The look on the doctor's face told Thomas it wouldn't be a conclusion.

"Tell me. What is the worst that could happen?"

Dr. Gomez was visibly struggling to say the words, and Thomas was freaking out. Then at last he said: "You may not be able to play football again."

~

For the first time since Müller had been brought in, Mario was happy to check on him. He had even asked his dad if Thomas was allowed to eat and he managed to bring him some soup. His dad looked pretty distracted but didn't say why and Mario didn't ask. He was too busy thinking what he should pick for Thomas for dinner.

He entered the room without knocking, carrying a tray, smiling. "Hey, I've brought you dinner." His cheerful mood dropped as soon as Thomas looked at him. He knew something was wrong.

"I'm not hungry." Thomas said distantly. Mario put the tray on the table and sat on the end of Thomas' bed.

"What happened?" He asked, genuinely interested and equally worried. He hated seeing patients sad.

Thomas shook his head, not looking at him. There was a long, uncomfortable silence and Mario had no idea if he should ask again or leave. He decided to do the latter and was about to stand up when Thomas said out of the blue: "I might never play football again."

Mario was dumbstruck by the words. "I'm sorry." He said quietly, desperately trying to say something which would comfort Thomas. He ended up with a question. "But it's not certain, right? I mean, they didn't diagnose anything yet."

"Dr. Gomez looked like he knew but didn't want to tell me. He said they needed more tests…"

"I'm sure he will tell you once they are entirely sure."

Thomas shrugged, still staring out of the window. "Whatever."

Mario remained silent for a while. He had no idea what was going on in Thomas' head. He was a professional player, football meant the world to him. He stood up and moved closer to Thomas, squeezing his shoulder with a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, it's going to be okay."

Thomas finally looked at him but didn't smile back. Mario could understand. He then left quietly, leaving the tray behind in case Thomas changed his mind and wanted to eat.

~

Thomas felt empty. 'You may not be able to play football.' The doctor's words rang through his head like a curse. Football was his life. What was he supposed to do without it? He wished Mario hadn't left, he was scared of being alone with his thoughts. Trying to distract himself, he reached for the tray and pulled it into his lap, grabbing the spoon. The soup was already cold but he didn't care. He tried to take a spoonful but missed it. The spoon came in contact with the tray and the sound it made echoed in the silent room.

Thomas took a deep breath and tried again, concentrating. He missed it again. Grabbing the spoon harder he tried for the third time and it finally went into the bowl. He tasted the cold meat soup. He smiled at how considerate Mario was. Thomas wanted to take another spoonful but failed. He put the thing away and pulled his knees up to his chest, crying both in frustration and despair. He could barely eat on his own, how was he going to score goals?

The next day Dr. Gomez made him do stretching exercises, saying he needed to move his muscles after lying in bed for so long. Thomas knew it was necessary but he wanted to get on with the tests and examinations. This unsure state was killing him.

His manager - Emma came that afternoon, discussing what they should tell the press. She also brought a huge bouquet of various flowers, saying it would brighten his mood. Thomas didn't think a bunch of stupid flowers would be any use but thanked her nevertheless.

Three days passed with the same routine. Exercise, visitors, eating, visitors, exercising, Mario's visit. Coach came by and told Thomas everything would be all right and they were waiting for him to get better. A few of his teammates also stopped by, bringing flowers and balls and balloons. Thomas' room started to look like a gift store and although it was nice, he didn't feel any better. The only part of the day he enjoyed was Mario's visit. The intern was always smiling and talked to him about various things. He was tactfully avoiding the topic of Thomas' illness and examinations, for which Thomas was grateful. He was always a great distraction. And he was funny, too.

On the fourth day, they started the real thing. Dr. Gomez asked him to do various exercises, like walking in a straight line and throwing small balls at the wall. He couldn't do it properly. He could walk more or less straight, but his sense of direction was off and he always judged the distance wrong. It was awful. The only thing he managed to do right was that he had to read aloud from a book and it was flawless. The doctor said it was promising but Thomas didn't think of it as a success. He would rather play football than read.

By the end of the day he knew there was little chance to be back on the team. He was miserable. And it only added to his misery that instead of Mario, Elisabeth – the nurse, was coming to check on him. Maybe Mario had a day off, Thomas wondered, trying not to dwell on it too much. His parents came to visit him. They were trying to comfort him but he could see the sadness in their eyes. It was awful. He cried himself to sleep that night.

The following two days were pretty much the same, only he felt worse and worse by every passing minute. He couldn't do things he was able to do before without thinking. Now, even eating was a hard task. He hated it. He hated being so helpless and pathetic.

The more tests they did, the surer the doctors became. Thomas was suffering from a mild version of ataxia which affected his sense of balance and coordination. There was no exact cure for it, the patients could only learn how to live with it. In Thomas' case, the doctors said there was a chance it was only temporary, but they couldn't be sure. The chances of remaining a professional football player were low.

Everyone around him was trying to comfort and encourage him but Thomas couldn't hear them through his own dark thoughts. He was giving up and letting despair consume his soul. A few days before he had seen a chance to get out of this nightmare but now he was only sinking in deeper. He wanted it to end, no matter the price.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is pretty angsty, and more angst is coming but don't worry, I promise it's mostly a happy story ;)
> 
> Also, give me feedback, I love them!
> 
> Thanks for everyone who commented, left kudos, bookmarked or subscribed so far, I really appreaciate them! <3


	4. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating again because it's Thomas' birthday today! <3
> 
> This chapter contains suicide attempt, you've been warned! Rating has gone up because of that.
> 
> My beta was again the awesome [bloodsugar](http://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodsugar/pseuds/bloodsugar). Love ya! <3

It was two in the morning and Mario still had an hour before heading home. He didn't have much to do and that left him time thinking. He had asked his dad about Thomas' condition and he updated him briefly, also suggesting Mario stay away from him. He'd said Mario was paying way too much attention to him and Thomas needed his family and friends around, not a total stranger. Mario wanted to reply he wasn't a total stranger but he knew arguing with his dad was pointless. Against his better judgement, he kept his distance.

But that was as long as he could take it. He knew Thomas was having a hard time and he just wanted to see how he was. Mario cared a lot for every patient and Thomas was no exception. Okay, maybe he cared a bit more for him but Thomas was having a really tough time. Mario figured stopping by to say "hi" wouldn't hurt and he assumed Thomas was asleep anyway so it wouldn't count as a visit. He headed towards Thomas' room.

After opening the door he frowned. The room was empty which was weird. Mario was pretty sure they didn't run tests during the night so Thomas couldn't be away. He glanced around and saw the lights on in the bathroom, the door slightly opened.

"Thomas! Are you in there?" He called but there was no reply. "Is everything okay?" Still no reply. Mario was having a really bad feeling. "I'm coming in." He warned and pushed the door wide open only to freeze in shock.

Thomas was lying on the floor in a weird position. Mario dropped to his knees beside him, thinking he passed out. He shook his shoulder and called his name several times but there was no reaction. He leant closer to his face to see if he was breathing. Thomas' chest was sinking and rising softly but his breath was kind of shallow and when Mario forced his mouth open he smelled medication.

"You dumb idiot. What have you done?" Mario cursed as he pressed the emergency button, gathering Thomas into his arms. The physician in attendance came within seconds, almost colliding with Mario in the doorway.

"He has taken pills. Get prepared for gastric lavage." Mario ordered, carrying Thomas along the corridor, hoping it wouldn't be too late.

The operating room was ready when he got there and placed Thomas on the table, grabbing a syringe. He put Thomas to sleep while Dr. Zimmer incubated the unconscious Thomas. His hands didn't tremble during the operation, which went without a problem, and he even managed to take Thomas back to his room without collapsing. He was going to be a doctor, after all, he wasn't allowed to have a nervous-breakdown before surgeries but it was different - he knew Thomas, he even considered him as a friend. Mario had to calm his racing heart down; it was pounding way too quick now that everything was over.

His shift was over but he didn't want to go home. Not until he was sure Thomas was alright. He sat on a chair beside Thomas' bed, waiting for him to wake up.

~

Thomas opened his eyes, blinking a few times. He was lying in his bed in the hospital. The sun was rising outside and he wondered what happened, why he was feeling so sore and sick.

His thoughts were quickly interrupted by a familiar voice. "Thank god." He glanced to his side and Mario's face came into view, looking both relieved and pissed. He pointed a finger at Thomas, his tone trembling as he spoke. "Don't you ever dare do that again."

First, Thomas didn't understand what Mario was talking about but then the memories of the night and his gloomy thoughts crept back and he remembered taking a handful of pills while sitting on the bathroom floor, crying. He looked down, ashamed.

"What were you thinking?!" He flinched at Mario's raised voice which contained a mixture of anger and disappointment.

"I'm sorry." Thomas mumbled, feeling horrible. He didn't know what he'd been thinking.

"You should be!"

"You have no idea what I'm going through." Thomas pointed out, irritated; finally looking at Mario. He wished he didn't. There was a hint of sadness and fear in Mario's deep blue eyes and his look pierced through his heart.

"And you have no idea what I've gone through."

Thomas knew Mario was right and he looked away, sighing. "I'm sorry." He repeated, and then a tense silence settled between them. Mario knew it wasn't his place to lecture Thomas on the importance of living and fighting but he just couldn't leave.

"You don't have to stay." Thomas mumbled after a good five minutes.

"I'm not leaving you alone." Mario stated firmly.

"I won't do it again." Thomas promised but didn't get a reply. He fell asleep with Mario watching over him.

 

When Thomas woke up in the morning he felt like the events of the previous night hadn't happened at all. He would have liked to pretend that but his throat still felt odd, reminding him of his mistake. He didn't know what had gotten into him. He couldn't see a way out of his misery and thought it was the best way to deal with his problem. He knew he had made a mistake. It was a miracle Mario found him and he was grateful, but too ashamed to admit it.

He glanced at the chair beside his bed but it was empty and a sudden, unexplainable disappointment washed him over. Of course Mario would leave, he couldn't sit beside his bed for days but Thomas wished he could. He didn't understand why, but Mario always made him feel safe and comfortable. He liked him.

Thomas sat up in bed and grabbed the remote control to switch the TV on. He couldn't do much these days and watching various channels was still more exciting than staring at the ceiling. There was a tennis tournament which caught his interest.

He had been watching for barely ten minutes when the door opened, revealing Mario who was pushing an empty wheelchair into the room.

"Great, you're already awake." He grinned in a strange way and Thomas frowned. What was he up to? "Get up."

"Why?"

"We're going for a walk."

"I'm not sitting in that." Thomas pointed at the wheelchair. He knew it wasn't a big deal and he was childish but he hated it. It made him feel even more pathetic.

Mario's tone was firm. "Yes, you are. Doctor's orders. Come on!" Thomas knew it was pointless to argue. Mario reminded him of someone but he couldn't point out who. The way he was talking and his gestures looked familiar which was crazy because he had never met Mario before. He would remember those beautiful eyes and that adorable smile.

He got up and reluctantly sat in the wheelchair and they headed towards the elevator. It was still pretty early in the morning, Thomas forgot to check his phone and left it behind but he saw a clock on a corridor which showed it was barely nine o'clock. There weren't many people around and Thomas sighed in relief.

When they finally reached the exit and went out, Thomas thought he had stepped into another world. He had spent so much time inside he almost forgot what the outside world looked and felt like. It was the middle of summer and though it was cool at such an early hour in Germany, the sun was already shining brightly, warming Thomas' heart. The flowers were at full bloom and bees were flying among the beautiful mixture of colours.

Thomas smiled, relaxing. "It's great. Being out at last."

Mario hummed in agreement then stopped and grinned at him. "Stand up."

Thomas gave him a startled look. "I thought I wasn't supposed to stand."

"I said we would take a walk, didn't I?" He helped Thomas to his feet with a wide grin. "Don't worry, I'll catch you if you trip." He looked thoughtful for a second then added "Unless I'm laughing too hard."

Thomas laughed, amused. "Are you even allowed to talk to patients like that?"

"After saving their lives? Hell yeah." Mario laughed but regretted it immediately. Thomas looked like he had just been punched in the stomach. "Sorry, I didn't want to upset you."

Thomas shook his head. "No, it's just… I don't know what I was thinking." He admitted, staring at his feet awkwardly.

"I talked to the doctor who performed the operation." Mario said while he started to walk. Thomas followed him absentmindedly. "I could convince him to keep the whole 'night thing' between us but you will have to agree to see a psychologist."

Thomas nodded. "Thanks."

Mario smiled at him, but his eyes were serious. "Just promise me you won't do that again. I was really freaked out." He admitted.

"I'm sorry." Thomas mumbled.

"Stop apologising." Mario rolled his eyes but he was smiling cheerfully again. He grabbed Thomas' arm and dragged him away. "Come, I want to show you something."

Thomas' skin was burning where Mario touched him but it was a nice feeling and he didn't complain. They took a few turns in the huge garden and soon Thomas was greeted with one of the most beautiful sights he had ever seen. There was a large garden pond full of pink and white water lilies and there were huge oaks in the background, casting playful shadows on the water.

"Wow." Thomas was amazed.

"I know." Mario grinned and seemingly he was really proud to make Thomas speechless. He sat on the grass, pulling Thomas down with him.

"It's beautiful." He managed to say at last, staring at the turtles sunbathing on the rocks.

"If I feel bad, I always come here. It's so peaceful." Mario smiled, looking at the pond with a dreamy look. They were sitting silently, admiring the view for a while before starting to speak again. Mario was the first to break the comfortable silence. "You can't give up yet. Nothing is sure at the moment. You know that, right?"

Thomas knew, but he really didn't want to talk about it. It was always painful. He just nodded, hugging his knees to his chest and resting his chin on his knee.

"If you want to talk about it, I'm here." Mario offered.

"Thanks, but… I don't think I want to talk about it." Thomas admitted.

"Fair enough." Mario grinned and he was about to say something else when a sharp yell of "Mario!" disturbed the peace. He made a sheepish face. "Oops."

He jumped to his feet and Thomas frowned as he saw Dr. Gomez approaching. He was visibly irritated. When he got closer he started shouting. "Are you out of your mind? Half of the hospital is looking for Mr. Müller!"

Thomas was confused.

Mario looked serious. "He wanted to have some fresh air." Thomas gaped at the blatant lie. "It's my duty to make patients comfortable."

"And you didn't have the mind to at least inform someone in charge?!"

"Oh, c'mon dad, it's not like I kidnapped him." 'Well, he practically did.' Thomas thought but decided it was better to just stay silent. He focused on the word 'dad'.

"You better get back right now." Dr. Gomez waved a threatening finger at Mario and left, fuming. Thomas could catch words like 'stupid son' and 'should have more sense'.

Thomas got to his feet, glancing at Mario. "So, do you feel like explaining?"

Mario made a face. "Not really. He is my dad, that's all."

Thomas gave him a look. "I meant the 'kidnapping' thing."

Mario sighed. "Fine. You looked so miserable I thought a change of scenery would do you good."

Thomas was shocked by the honesty but appreciated it. It really did him good. Though he couldn't help but ask. "Why are you doing this?"

"What?" Mario raised an eyebrow as they were walking back to the hospital building slowly.

"Being nice like that."

Mario shrugged. "I don't know. Guess I'm a good guy in general." He grinned.

"And you're the son of Dr. Gomez…" Thomas trailed off.

"Yeah, well, I don't go around telling that to everyone."

"You like him." Thomas now knew why Mario's gestures looked familiar. Mario smiled. They made their way back in silence. Thomas was escorted back to his room by Mario.

"So, good luck with your tests today." Mario smiled and was about to leave when Thomas called his name. He turned, looking at Thomas expectantly.

Thomas felt his cheeks redden slightly under his intense gaze but managed to say a quiet "thank you." Mario smiled back.

"Anytime."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, how do you like it so far? Give me feedback, I live on them! ^^


	5. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to everyone who has commented, left kudos or subscribed so far! It means the world to me! <3
> 
> I added a few tags, check them before reading!
> 
> This is a bit longer chapter than the previous ones, hope you'll like it!
> 
> Beta-ing, as always, was done by the lovely [bloodsugar](http://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodsugar/pseuds/bloodsugar). Thanks again Honey! <3

Finally, Thomas was getting discharged from the hospital. He was supposed to come back twice a week for therapy but his physician had said he was showing progress and Dr. Gomez told him the tests were promising. It might take up to a whole year for Thomas to recover completely and though he was sad, missing a year was better than never playing again.

It was his last night there and he was both excited and sorry to leave. He would be home at last, his friends and family could come over at any time and he didn't have to lie in a bed all day or do various tests. But he was also going to miss the hospital; it had kind of become a home to him, too. And he would also miss Mario. He wondered if it would be too much to ask for his number. He thought of Mario as a really good friend but wasn't sure if it was mutual. It was Mario's job to be nice to everyone and Thomas didn't want to end up feeling stupid because he had completely misunderstood a simple act of kindness.

His train of thought was interrupted when the door opened, revealing a grinning Mario Gomez.

"Kidnapping me again?" Thomas grinned and sat up immediately.

"Nah, I've got permission this time."

"Pity." Thomas sighed dramatically but he was still grinning as Mario walked up to him.

"I've got something better planned. It's a leaving-the-hospital celebration party."

"What?"

"Come, you will see." Mario grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the room. Thomas had no time to object. Not that he had intended to.

They stopped in front of a room which walls were made of glass and inside there were numerous toys and a huge couch where four kids were sitting, watching Frozen on TV. Mario stepped inside and coughed to get the children's attention.

"Hey, everyone, I've brought a friend with me." He announced theatrically then stepped aside to reveal Thomas.

The children's eyes widened in surprise then lit up in excitement. "Thomas Müller!" They shouted in unison, jumping to their feet and running up to him to hug him tight. Even Peter managed to limp there, not caring much about his fractured leg which was in a cast.

They practically attacked him with questions. "How are you Mr. Müller? We saw you on TV!" "We watched the World Cup, you were awesome!"

Thomas was at a loss of words. He wasn't expecting for this. Kneeling down, he hugged the children, eyes brimming with tears. He was affected very much by the way they looked at him. Like he was a hero. And now he really did feel like one. It was the moment he swore not to give up fighting ever again.

He smiled, mouthing Mario a 'thank you.'

~

They were back in Thomas' room, standing awkwardly. Mario had his hands in his pockets, staring at all the gifts Thomas had got. Thomas was looking down his feet. He didn't want to climb in bed because then it would signal Mario he wanted him to leave and he definitely wanted the opposite.

He couldn't think of anything good to say, so he just kept his mouth shut, hoping Mario was better than him. Mario broke the silence at last but not with words Thomas wanted to hear.

"So, I won't be here tomorrow, so it's goodbye, I think." Mario gave a small smile and extended his hand. Thomas shook it longer than necessary.

"Yeah." He replied dumbly after letting go and Mario turned to leave, causing Thomas' heart to speed up. He was desperate to say something. "Thanks for everything." He said shyly, smiling.

Mario turned back, hesitating to speak. "Hey, can we… I mean, is it okay if we exchange phone numbers?"

Thomas tried not to look too enthusiastic but failed miserably. "Yeah, sure." He fished his phone out of a drawer while Mario got his from his pocket.

They typed each other's number in then put the phones away. Mario flashed him a smile that made Thomas gulp thickly.

"Call me." He winked, grinning and then left the dumbstruck Thomas alone.

'What just happened?'

Even after two hours, Thomas couldn't wipe his stupid grin off of his face. He didn't understand why, but he felt so happy now that he had Mario's number. He wanted to text him something but figured it would be awkward and he didn't exactly have anything to say so after a while he reluctantly put his phone aside and tried to get some sleep instead.

~

Mario felt his ears burning when he was walking back home. He was feeling like an idiot. He had winked at Thomas Müller. What the hell was wrong with him?! He was pretty sure Thomas had deleted his number as soon as he left and he was too much of a coward to call him first. He buried his face into his palms, releasing a frustrated grunt. He wasn't even sure if Thomas was gay, what was he thinking? He was a patient of his father. And a professional football player.

~

Sam was practically stomping on the stairs as she took them, two at a time, not caring whether the whole flat could hear her or not. She was angry and exhausted and disappointed and just simply sick of everyone's shit. She opened the door and went inside, peeling her crimson red cocktail dress off and throwing it to the corner. She put on an oversized T-shirt which was hiding most of her thighs. It was technically a dress, less pretty but more comfortable.

Grabbing a huge bag of snacks she threw herself onto the black leather couch and started to watch Lord of the Rings which was already in the DVD player. She wasn't even halfway in when the sound of rattling keys caught her attention and when she turned her face towards the door Mario was already stepping inside, looking defeated.

"Is everything okay?" She asked, slightly worried. Mario shook his head, sighing.

"Don't even ask." He took his coat off and threw the keys on the table, walking into the kitchen. He frowned at the sight of a dress lying on the floor then checked his watch. It was around ten pm. "How was your date?"

She glanced at him. "I can't talk about it right now."

"Do we need drinks?" Mario grinned, sending her a meaningful look.

"Hell yeah."

Half an hour later the movie was still going and they were spread out on each end of the couch, trying to keep their heads straight. Mario was leaning on his elbows while Sam was devouring a sandwich.

"So, I asked for a mojito cocktail and he said no, it's too expensive." She fumed with her mouth full. "Like it was my fault!" She annoyed yell was muffled as she took another bite. "I mean, he was adamant about that place, I told him we didn't have to go there." She rolled her eyes. "He was kind of a douche, so I left. I told him I had to go to the toilet."

Mario laughed out loud. "Jesus, he could be still looking for you."

She shrugged then grinned evilly. "I hope he is. Asshole." She put the empty plate down and glanced at Mario as meaningfully as she could manage after two glasses of wine. She didn't handle alcohol well. "What about Thomas?"

Mario's grin died and he sighed, looking troubled. He was trying to find the right words and he took another shot of tequila – Sam suspected it was his fifth - before speaking. "I don't know."

"More accurately?"

"I really don't." Mario shrugged. "I've got his phone number but-"

Sam squealed in excitement. "Wow, I can't believe you have Thomas freaking Müller's phone number."

Mario pulled a face. "It doesn't mean anything."

"C'mon, just how many people does he give his private number to?"

"Still, it's just-"

"Stop making excuses. He is totally into you." She grinned encouragingly but Mario wasn't convinced.

"When we said goodbye today, I might have flirted with him." Mario admitted, looking away.

"And how did he react?"

"He froze like a stone."

"Uhh… maybe he was just surprised…?"

"Or shocked to the core?"

"Well, yeah, but only because he didn't expect you to do it."

"I'm not so sure."

"Stop being a pessimist! Go for it. What can you lose?"

"A friend?"

"He is not a friend if you have a crush on him." She pointed out bluntly.

"It's not a crush!" Mario claimed but Sam just waved it off.

"Whatever."

~

The morning had been a blur to Thomas. He woke up, got dressed, signed a bunch of papers then his mother came to pick him up because his dad was abroad on a business trip.

He could walk slowly more or less straight and Dr. Gomez – Mario's dad – told him to keep doing exercises each day and have faith. He was determined to follow his advice. He wondered if it was because he was Mario's dad.

There were a lot of people outside the hospital and it made his heart jump into his throat. Spending the last few weeks in the hospital made him relaxed and he felt comfortable so now being out in the open was weird. He could literally feel the pressure weighing down his shoulders. He was thankful when they got into the car in the hospital's private parking lot and then drove home without stopping for handshakes and photos. He was sure he wouldn't have been able to handle them.

Thomas was home at last and a sigh of relief escaped his mouth because no matter how good he felt at the hospital, this was still his home. His mum stayed and helped re-organise the room since the doctor told them to remove every sharp-edged furniture or things than could be dangerous. They even rolled up the rugs because for him it was easy to trip over them. They put the small, square shaped coffee table away with a few vases which Thomas had never liked and was secretly really happy he didn't have to look at daily. Also, his mum prepared a lot of food and loaded the fridge with it, forbidding Thomas to cook. Not that he intended to. He couldn't make pasta to save his life.

When she made sure Thomas had everything he needed his mom left, making Thomas to swear to call her if he needed anything. He would have promised anything in that moment because he wanted to be alone so badly. He knew she just wanted the best for him but he was too busy thinking of Mario and didn't want his mum to get suspicious because then she wouldn't leave until all her questions were answered. And Thomas was nowhere near ready for that conversation.

Lying down the couch he took out his mobile phone and opened his Twitter app. He hadn't checked it since the accident and therefore he had thousands of notifications from fans wishing him all the best and hoping to see him back on the pitch. He smiled, touched, and typed a short post: 'Thanks for all the support. I'll be back as soon as possible.'

He was reading the posts just to make himself feel better when an incoming call appeared on the screen. It was his manager, Emma, who told Thomas she couldn't make it today but she would come the next day and they would discuss things regarding his future and the press. Truth be told, Thomas was glad she couldn't come; he had no intention of dealing neither with the press nor his future. Even though he was showing some progress he didn't want to speak too soon.

He put the phone aside as soon as she hung up and switched the TV on, staring at the screen mindlessly. Eventually he fell asleep.

A loud noise rang through the room and Thomas' eyes snapped open. He checked the time. Four o'clock. He had barely slept for an hour. The doorbell rang again and it felt like having bells ringing in his head. He got to his feet and walked to the door, concentrating on his steps as much as possible. Now the doorbell was ringing and simultaneously there was a constant knocking – or banging, to be exact – on the door.

"Coming!" Thomas shouted while fumbling with his keys then managed to find the right key and opened the door.

"Surprise!" Mats and Erik shouted in unison, grinning at him like two idiots.

"Hey, guys!" Thomas grinned back when his momentary shock passed.

"We were pretty sure you can't drink alcohol so we brought…" Mats said in a theatrical way, then showed what was in his hand behind his back. "This!" He was holding a can of Hohes C.

Thomas laughed. "Idiots."

"And Manu sends his regards as well." Erik added and handed him a huge jar of Nutella. Thomas' eyes went wide in joy. Seriously, he had the best idiotic teammates in the world.

"Tell him I said thanks." Thomas smiled while he stepped out of the way so his guests could finally come in.

"So how are you?" Mats asked when he and Erik settled at the kitchen table.

Thomas shrugged while he was taking out three glasses for the Hohes C. "Fine, I guess." He replied as if it was nothing. "I have therapy session the day after tomorrow."

"Did they say how long it will take?" Erik inquired as he poured some juice to Mats, Thomas and finally to himself.

"Depends. The doctors are hopeful though."

"Man, that's tough."

"Yeah." Thomas agreed with a sigh. It must have been written all over his face how much he didn't want to talk about it any further and thankfully neither Mats nor Erik pushed on. Instead, they changed the topic, telling Thomas about the victory celebration party and how the drunken André had fallen into the pool with a bottle of Jack Daniel's in his hand and filled the water with liquor. Joachim had tried to scold him but he had been laughing too hard to mean it.

Thomas hadn't laughed this much for a long time and he couldn't help feeling slightly sad when they left. He didn't want to be alone again but he couldn't really go anywhere so he ended up wandering around his home until he decided to take a shower.

It was a bad decision.

He felt helpless since he couldn't stand in the shower – it would be too risky – so he just sat there, letting warm water splash against his skin while reality slowly sank in. He may not be able to play football again. This sentence would never leave his mind; it was always there, echoing at the most unexpected situations or times. Self-pity was getting to be his strong point lately. He had difficulties eating with knife and fork, he couldn't shower standing and he couldn't run straight… how was he supposed to score a goal when his sense of coordination and balance was off all the time? He may have won the World Cup but he practically gave his life for it. And he wasn't okay with that.

~

The next day Thomas decided that instead of drowning himself in gloomy thoughts doing some research on his disease would do him better. It didn't. He barely remembered Dr. Gomez calling it mild ataxia and Thomas looked it up only to find out there was no real cure for it. People would learn how to live with it but it never really disappeared. He tried so hard not to let despair consume him but it was impossible. He cried for half an hour, clutching at his phone, wanting to call Mario. He didn't.

It didn't help his mood much when Emma came by late in the afternoon and told him he had an interview with Sports Bild on Sunday. His stomach made backflips at the thought of being in public but he pretended it wasn't a big deal. Despite hating the whole idea, going through the possible questions and the best answers was a good distraction.

And he needed distraction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, how do you like the story so far? Share your opinions with me, I need feedback! Also, I'm having a writer's block, so comments and ideas might help me to get over it. Just saying ;)
> 
> Also, I'll try to settle for a weekly update, but I can't promise anything, my life is kinda chaotic right now, but I'll do what I can. Deal? :)


	6. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments so far, you all are great and I love you! <3
> 
> Sorry, this chapter is pretty short, I promise to make the next one longer ;)
> 
> Enjoy~
> 
> Beta-ing was done again by [bloodsugar](http://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodsugar/pseuds/bloodsugar). Love you Honey! <3

Wednesday morning came soon and Thomas was both excited and nervous. He hoped to see Mario in the hospital but he also had doubts. What if Mario wasn't there? What if the therapy wouldn't work? And what if Mario forgot about him already? Thomas should really stop thinking this much about the guy.

His father came to pick him up and drove him to the hospital and Thomas wished it was his mother instead, because right now he wanted distraction and his mother always chatted about something unlike his father who drove in complete silence. He had too much space to think.

He was dropped off and his father left after wishing him good luck. He walked into the hospital building alone where the receptionist told him to sit and wait until she called Dr. Gomez. Thomas had no intentions of sitting, he was too nervous for that so he walked to the vending machine instead, eyeing the different foods and drinks mindlessly. He was just about to choose something, not wanting to be seen as stupid when a loud, cheerful voice got his attention immediately.

"Look who's here!"

Turning around he faced Mario Gomez's grinning face and though he tried not to look too enthusiastic he was pretty sure he was failing as a wide smile spread across his features.

"Hey!"

Mario nodded towards the vending machine. "I see you need your daily caffeine fix."

"Well, I have to pass the time while waiting for your dad." Thomas was really proud he could have a normal conversation despite his heart about to jump out of his chest.

"Right, you came for the therapy."

"Yeah..." Thomas trailed off, his mood dropping in an instant. Suddenly, Mario's hand was on his shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly.

"Don't worry, you'll do great." His tone was soft but determined and it made Thomas believe him. He looked Mario in the eye, grateful for the encouraging words, wanting to reply but nothing coming to mind. There was something strange dancing in Mario's eyes and Thomas felt his mouth go dry, becoming very aware of Mario's touch still on him. He could see Mario bite his lower lip, hesitating, though he didn't understand why. Before he could ask anything the magic was broken by a loud "Mr. Müller" and they both looked away, like children caught red-handed. Dr. Gomez was approaching, Joachim walking beside him.

"See you later." Mario gave him a quick smile then went to do his job. Thomas greeted the doctor and his coach in a daze, thinking of Mario's crazy blue eyes. He was screwed.

~

Mario had no idea what had gotten into him. He was fairly positive he would have kissed Thomas if they hadn't been interrupted. Kissing professional football player Thomas Müller in the corridor in broad daylight. He must have gone insane. Mario couldn't forget the way Thomas looked at him though. Shocked. Confused. Yearning. Not in the slightest offended or disgusted.

He was trying to focus on his task and keep working but the image of those celestial blue eyes kept distracting him. And later, when his phone buzzed and he read the message sent from Thomas 'Hey! Just finished. R u still around?' he knew he was doomed.

~

Thomas couldn't help a goofy grin when his phone vibrated in his pocket. Fishing it out, he opened the text message from Mario.

'Yeah. Meet u in the garden?'

'Sure'

He put the phone back into his pocket and headed towards the elevator, his happy grin fading when Joachim joined him, looking at him seriously. Thomas really wasn't in the mood for this kind of talk but Joachim didn't seem to care.

"You know you can't give up, right?" Joachim's tone was firm yet soft, he wasn't scolding Thomas but it made his heart ache nevertheless. He felt horrible, because he was constantly thinking of giving up even though he knew that was not an option.

He nodded, throat too tight for words.

"We are expecting you back. Just do your best and it will be okay."

"Yes, coach." Thomas mumbled, grateful that the elevator stopped at last and Joachim said "Goodbye."

~

Feeling utterly miserable, Thomas headed towards the exit and into the garden.

"Hey!" Mario greeted him with a bright smile, standing beside a triangle shaped bush, holding two paper cups in hand. "I made you coffee. Trust me, it's better than that machine's. If you wanna have a decent drink you gotta do it yourself." Laughing, he handed one cup to Thomas who accepted it with a thankful smile and nod.

"So how was your first therapy?"

Thomas pulled a face. "Don't ask."

"I know dad can be pretty… bothersome." Mario admitted with a sympathetic smile. Thomas shook his head.

"No, it's not Dr. Gomez. It's coach, he is… Nevermind, I don't want to talk about it. Can we change the topic?" His last sentence was almost a plea.

"Sure." Mario said seriously then a huge smirk appeared on his face. "You wanna hear about the lady in room 108, who has fungus and it smells like-"

"JESUS, NO!" Thomas panicked, causing Mario to laugh heartily. After a second of shock, Thomas joined. He felt so free and content around this guy, he could always relax and have fun with him.

"So, how does it feel to be back at home?" Mario asked after they had calmed down, genuinely interested but realised it made Thomas upset again. His frequent mood changes were troubling but he decided not to point that out. Instead, he fumed jokingly. "Seriously, what am I allowed to talk about?"

"Sorry." Thomas sighed, meaning his apology. "It's just… a lot of stuff is going on and I can't… really keep up."

"I thought that's a pro player's lifestyle." Mario wondered.

Thomas shrugged. "It's different." Not wanting to explain further he took a cautious sip from his coffee instead, humming appreciatively. "This is good."

"Thanks." Mario beamed at him and Thomas' heart skipped a beat.

He didn't even remember when they started walking but they already were a good half a mile from the building. Though they were silent, Thomas felt comfortable and he could truly relax. The sun was touching the horizon, painting the sky orange and casting playful shadows on the huge oak trees. He marvelled the view but refrained from voicing it to Mario, not wanting to sound like a romantic idiot.

Thomas' peace didn't last long unfortunately, his phone rang and he cursed silently as he picked it up. His dad was waiting for him.

"Sorry, I gotta go." He mumbled, turning back. Mario did the same.

Mario smiled but he appeared somehow disappointed. Or maybe it was just Thomas' imagination. "It's okay, I should head home soon, too."

Thomas bit his bottom lip, hesitating a little. "You want a ride?"

"No, thank you, I still have stuff to take care of." Mario declined politely and Thomas felt stupid though he didn't understand why. He wasn't feeling comfortable anymore and when they reached the building at last he said a quick goodbye, wanting to get away.

Mario grabbed his arm gently, smiling uncertainly. "See you on Saturday? After your session?" His hopeful gaze made Thomas gulp thickly and he needed all his willpower to reply in a casual way and not hug him immediately.

"Sure." He smiled, trying to act as if it wasn't a big deal and failing. "Until next time then."

Mario smiled back happily. "Yeah."

Thomas couldn't wait for Saturday to come.


	7. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, beta-ing was done by the sweet [bloodsugar](http://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodsugar/pseuds/bloodsugar). Thanks dear!
> 
> Huge thanks go to everyone who has commented, left kudos or subscribed so far, you are the best! <3
> 
> Hope you will enjoy this chapter, I definitely had fun writing it!
> 
> I've also updated the tags.

The days were passing by at an awfully slow pace and Thomas felt like it took forever for Saturday to come. Looking forward was the only thing keeping him from sinking into misery again and deep down Thomas knew Mario had somehow become an anchor to him. The world was a swirling whirlpool around him – the press; the fans; his family; his team mates; the therapy and his constant low opinion about himself. Mario was the only thought he could find peace with, which was ironic because every time he remembered that soft, bright smile and those beautiful blue eyes his stomach did a funny yet not at all unpleasant flip.

Saturday came at last and Thomas found himself nervous and excited once again. He was going to meet Mario but he had to go through the physical therapy session first and he was definitely not looking forward to that.

This occasion wasn't very different from the first one. This time he had to walk in a white straight line, first with the help of a walking stick then without it. Dr. Gomez praised him, because he wasn't swaying too much and his walking was more or less straight. It was like a hard slap across his face.

They also made him draw things, like a clock, a house and a tree and it wasn't that bad but Thomas wasn't an idiot, he knew it was nowhere near good enough. When the session was over he slipped out of the room as quick and quiet as possible, eager to meet Mario.

When he arrived to the garden Mario was not there so he took a seat on the bench close to the white and yellow tulips, admiring the flowers and smiling happily, knowing Mario could be there at any second. He showed up five minutes later, paper cups in hand, looking annoyed but still smiling. Thomas wondered how he could smile that much.

"Hey, I hope you like tea. We ran out of coffee. Can you believe it? You would think that sort of thing never happens in a private hospital." He fumed, handing one cup to Thomas who took it with an amused grin.

"Do you always start conversations about drinks?"

"Well I can't ask you about the therapy now can I?" Mario raised an eyebrow, half-serious, half-smiling. Thomas felt his ears turn a shade darker.

"Sorry, sensitive topic." He mumbled sheepishly.

"It's okay, you'll talk about it when you want to." Mario replied nonchalantly and Thomas was pretty sure he liked this best about him. He was understanding and genuinely worried for his well-being but never pushing on. Well, he was worried about everyone's well-being but Thomas liked to pretend he had something special.

Mario stopped Thomas' train of thought before it could go further. "So, anything you feel like talking about?"

Thomas shrugged. "I have an interview tomorrow."

Mario eyed him carefully and took a sip of his tea before asking. "Is that a good thing or bad?"

"I don't know." Thomas sighed. "It's nothing big, not TV or live or anything, just a small statement and it will be in the news on Monday."

"Then it's nothing to worry about." Mario smiled, his tone confident.

"I know… it's just… I'm nervous. It's been so long since I did one." Thomas admitted quietly, staring at the cup he was holding.

"I'd say to have shots before it but with all your medication… I doubt it will do any good." Mario said then laughed out at the thought, adding "But it would definitely be hilarious." Thomas chuckled.

"I don't think my manager would appreciate it."

"The fans would though. It would be all over the Internet within minutes." Mario grinned, clapping Thomas' back reassuringly. "You'll do great."

"I hope you're right." Thomas smiled, wishing Mario would leave his hand on him longer.

~

Thomas could barely sleep that night. When he wasn't stressing over the upcoming interview with Sports Bild, he was thinking of Mario, trying to decide what was going on between them. He would say Mario was a good friend but something was off. It wasn't exactly love but probably close to that. Those crazy blue eyes made Thomas shiver every time he recalled. He tried to imagine how a hug would feel, those muscular arms wrapped around Thomas' torso protectively. He could almost smell Mario's cologne – spicy and fresh – and he would tilt his head, allowing Mario to kiss him.

Thomas' whole body trembled in excitement and he groaned, both in guilty pleasure and frustration. "This can't be happening."

He wasn't supposed to have these thoughts, not to mention getting turned on by them but he couldn't help it. Mario was definitely more than a friend but he wasn't sure if Mario felt the same way. Yeah, okay, maybe he was giving Thomas those looks that made his heart skip a beat but it was probably the way he looked at everyone.

Thomas had to find out how exactly Mario felt about him before he went insane.

~

The alarm went off and Thomas jerked awake, sitting up in an instant, gasping for air. For a moment he thought he had overslept but then checked his phone and it was only ten o'clock. He had more than two hours to get ready for the – his stomach clenched at the thought - interview.

"This is fucking ridiculous." He fumed while getting up, annoyed with his stupid behaviour. He made himself toast for breakfast, because it was easy and having difficulties with making something to eat wasn't a thing he really needed at the moment. Throwing himself onto the couch, he switched the TV on and settled to watch a documentary about the solar system while eating, trying to occupy himself instead of over-thinking the afternoon.

His phone buzzed and he frowned, Emma still had an hour to pick him up. He glanced at the screen and his heart did a funny jump as he read Mario's name. He opened the message with fingers shaking in excitement.

'Morning. Since u can't drink shots I suggest lemongrass tea. Shots r still more effective tho.'

Thomas grinned and typed back quickly.

'Thx but I doubt anything would help now.' 'Well, maybe a kiss from you...' Thomas added in his mind, shocking himself. Why was he thinking of Mario kissing him? Again.

'Stop stressing, u will do gr8.'

He didn't know what to reply so he just sent a smiling emoticon.

'Call me when u r done?'

Thomas bit his lower lip to stop himself grinning. He wanted to jump around the room in happiness.

'Sure. 1st thing. ;)'

~

It turned out all his worries were for nothing. The interview went smoothly with Sports Bild, the reporter kept it short and professional, not asking deeply personal questions. Thomas suspected it was only because he hoped to get more first-hand information in the near future. And he suspected Emma had something to do with it too, but he didn't really care as long as his personal life remained his own business.

As soon as he was at home alone he took out his phone and called Mario. They talked for half an hour.

~

Everything was great until Wednesday. Thomas talked to Mario every day on phone and exchanged numerous text messages about random things like Mario going to the grocery store because they were out of strawberries, or Thomas watching Cobra 11 marathon on TV because he was bored and kept commenting on it to Mario.

For the first time, Thomas wasn't nervous about the therapy because he was too excited to meet Mario afterwards. He had a feeling it would be different this time, and he also hoped to find out whether Mario thought of him as a friend or more. Even if he had no idea how to do it.

The therapy didn't quite go according to plan. Thomas felt sweat forming on his forehead and temples as he saw Joachim in the room, talking to Dr. Gomez. He respected the coach, even liked him, but his presence made him anxious. Him supervising the whole therapy didn't help much.

First Thomas had to throw balls into a casket from a few meters away. Before the accident, he could do it easily, probably without looking, but now it seemed impossible. He kept missing the casket, judging the distance or the direction wrong every time. He felt awfully helpless and Joachim's supposed-to-be-encouraging-but-only-making-things-worse words didn't make him feel better at all.

Thomas could see the pity in his eyes and that pity told him his coach was giving up on him. After another terribly aimed throw Thomas broke down, sat on the floor and hugged his knees to his chest.

"Thomas, come on, you're not trying hard enough!" Joachim declared, causing Thomas to flinch at his firm tone.

"I can't." Thomas stated, staring at his knees. In his peripheral vision he could see Joachim approaching but Dr. Gomez stopped him and Thomas released a small sigh of relief. Instead, Dr. Gomez crouched beside him and Joachim left.

"Thomas, you can't give up." Dr. Gomez's voice was soft and he looked at Thomas sympathetically. Thomas wondered if he was already feeling better just because reminded him of Mario.

"I'm sorry. I can't do it. It's just not working." Thomas admitted, not looking the doctor in eye. The older man sighed.

"Why don't we take a break? Go, have a drink or eat something, breathe in some fresh air, then we will re-start half an hour from now."

Thomas nodded but didn't move. He was grateful when the doctor got the message and left him alone, probably going to talk to Joachim. Thomas wanted to crawl into a ball and disappear.

The second half of the session didn't go any better except that Joachim kept quiet during it. By the time Thomas left for the garden to meet Mario he was feeling like a complete wreck. He must have looked like one because when Mario saw him his cheerful expression turned into worry.

"Are you okay?" Mario felt stupid for even asking.

Thomas shook his head and collapsed on the bench next to him. "No. I haven't made any progress." He admitted in defeat, putting his elbows on his knees and burying his face into his palms.

"It's only your – what – third session? Don't expect too much. It's totally fine." Mario tried to comfort him, his hands itching to put an arm around Thomas but he wasn't sure it would be appreciated.

"It's not fine." Thomas argued. "I have to go back. The team needs me."

"They will wait for you."

"No, you don't understand." Thomas ran his fingers through his messy hair, staring at the ground now. "What if I can never go back? What if I never make any progress? What if I can't have my life back?"

"Thomas, football isn't everything." Mario tried but he knew he had made a huge mistake because Thomas looked at him as if he had slapped him.

"How could you say that?!" Thomas yelled. Bewildered. Hurt. Angry.

Mario didn't know what to say so he just kept quiet and stared at his feet while Thomas took a sudden interest in the birds nesting on a pine tree. Moments of tense silence passed until Mario inhaled deeply at last and whispered "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

Thomas' shoulders relaxed and he gave him a small, lopsided smile. "I'm sorry too, for snapping at you." He rubbed his face, groaning. "I just… I don't know what to do." He was on the brink of crying, of giving up again and Mario wanted to do everything in his power to prevent that. An idea popped up in his mind and he got to his feet, walking away.

Thomas' head snapped up in alarm as Mario left and he felt even more miserable. Great, now he had successfully managed to chase away the only person who still cared about him. He watched Mario walk away, unable to prevent it but then frowned when Mario instead of following the path went to a pine tree and grabbed something from the ground under it.

"What are you-?" He started to ask but was cut off as Mario shouted "Watch out!" and threw something at him. Thomas dodged it on instinct and the thing landed on the ground with a loud sound. He glared at Mario, confused and annoyed.

"What the hell was that for?"

Mario only grinned at him playfully, raising his hand. He was holding a pine cone. Without warning, he threw it at Thomas, this time hitting his leg. The younger yelped more in surprise than hurt. What was wrong with this guy?

"I'd fight back if I were you!" Mario teased, still grinning, and grabbed another cone from the ground. Thomas grabbed the one that had hit him and got to his feet, throwing the cone at Mario and missing it by a good three meters. The look on Mario's wasn't mock, it was pure satisfaction. He threw a cone at Thomas who ducked his head, the cone flying by his head only a few inches away. Mario laughed heartily in joy, throwing a few cones near Thomas' feet.

"Don't hold back on me!"

"Why the hell are we doing this?"

"To have fun, you dummy!" Mario yelled teasingly then started off, jogging away. Thomas frowned for a second then gathered the cones in his arms and chased after Mario, throwing cone after cone at him. He hadn't felt this alive in months, the competitive side of him awakening. Mario threw back a few cones occasionally, but he was rather focused on the run.

Maybe Thomas' moves were disoriented but he was still fast and he quickly caught up with Mario, grabbed his shirt and slid a cone under it. Mario yelped, coming to a halt to take it out, looking at Thomas in faked outrage and disbelief.

"It's cheating!" He exclaimed, his expression turning into pure shock when Thomas threw a cone at him from arm's length, hitting his stomach gently. The look on Mario's face was priceless and Thomas burst out laughing, a tear of joy running down his flushed cheek. Mario laughed too, then smiled at him fondly when he calmed down a bit.

"See? You're progressing." He pointed at the place where they had been sitting. It was a good hundred meters away. "You've run all the way without tripping." He stated approvingly.

Thomas looked first at the bench in the distance then at Mario's happy face and he couldn't hold back a small, sheepish smile. He was incredibly grateful to Mario at the moment. Their eyes locked and he felt something indescribable light up inside his chest. His cheeks darkened under Mario's intense gaze and before he could think twice he was leaning forward, pressing his lips against Mario's, closing his eyes. It was only for a second because as soon as their lips touched Thomas jerked back instantly, as if he had been burnt, a horrified look on his face. Mario's expression was the exact copy of his.

"Oh, shit, I'm- I better go now." Thomas stuttered out and before Mario could open his mouth he was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how do you like the story? Please, feel free to share your opinions with me, I don't bite and I love feedbacks, they always motivate me to do better and write more! Bring it on guys! ;)


	8. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm bringing a little bit of Götzeus into the story because I love them and I couldn't resist.
> 
> Also, I updated the tags. This chapter includes drinking, you have been warned!
> 
> My beta was once again [this](http://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodsugar/pseuds/bloodsugar) cutie.

Thomas wanted the ground to open and swallow him whole. He was such an idiot, fucking everything up. It had already been two days and he still wanted to bang his head against every door frame he passed by. Mario had called him several times and even left a bunch of messages but Thomas, being a coward, ignored them all stubbornly.

He wasn't ready to talk to Mario yet. He doubted he would ever be ready. Hell, he wasn't sure if he could look him in the eye ever again. It was awful. Thomas should have known better. What was he thinking?! Forcing himself on Mario like that.

Mario's startled look kept haunting him and he felt like a total idiot. Also, it wasn't really nice to ignore him but Thomas had no idea what else to do. He didn't expect it to be Philipp, who made him open his eyes and think rationally.

Philipp came late in the afternoon, bringing Thomas a jersey signed by the whole team, encouraging words written all over the fabric. Thomas almost cried, he was so affected by it, but held back.

They were talking about football and the upcoming games and even a bit about the physical therapy when Philipp pointed out unexpectedly. "Thomas, are you sure everything is fine? You look terrible, to be honest."

Well, he did feel terrible but didn't want to admit why.

Instead, he lied. "Yeah, it's just… I'm really concerned about this whole 'getting better' thing."

"Don't be. The doctors are really hopeful. Even Coach praises your performance."

Thomas stared at Philipp, startled. "Joachim? You mean, Joachim Löw? That Joachim Löw?"

Philipp laughed, giving Thomas an incredulous look. "Who else?"

"I don't know man, he didn't seem very pleased with me at all."

Philipp patted him on the back, grinning. "You know how he is. Always acting like he isn't satisfied but he is actually really proud of all of us."

"Uh-huh." Thomas hummed, his thoughts wandering back to Mario again.

"So, if that's what is eating you…" Philipp left the sentence hanging in the air, patiently waiting for Thomas. The younger took a deep breath, admitting. "That's not all of it."

"Thought so. Feel like talking about it?" He offered and Thomas was really grateful for it, but it wasn't something he could openly discuss with a fellow player, even if he was the captain and a good friend.

"I don't know. It's just… " Another deep breath. "I did something very stupid and it possibly cost me a great friendship." He said all at one go.

Philipp went silent for a while, thinking. Then "Did you apologize for it?"

"Umm, no." Thomas confessed, feeling dumb. He didn't feel like apologizing because it didn't feel wrong but Philipp probably thought he was an idiot, because clearly, if you fuck things up the least you can do is apologize.

"Then apologize, if it's your fault." Philipp advised.

Thomas sighed. "It's not that simple."

"It is. You're just making a big deal out of it." Philipp smiled. "And seriously? I can't think of you doing anything so horrible that can't be forgiven." He gave Thomas a soft squeeze on the arm. "Just be honest."

'That's what I'm afraid to do.' Thomas thought darkly but smiled back weakly.

"Thanks. I'll try."

Philipp nodded. "You're a good guy, Thomas, I'm sure they know that too."

His words echoed in Thomas' mind even after hours he had left and Thomas finally decided to be a man and face his fears. He would talk to Mario face-to-face the next day. He had to go to the hospital on Saturday anyway.

~

Mario didn't feel like going to work and it was the benefit of an intern that he could ask for a day-off every now and again. He chose it to be Saturday. Since he had been unsuccessfully trying to reach Thomas in the past few days he felt like a creeper, it went to the extent where it might be called harassment. Thomas didn't return any of his phone calls or text messages and even though Mario could guess he was probably ashamed or at a loss of what to do, being ignored hurt him.

He had always liked spending time at the hospital but right now it was the last place on earth he had wanted to go to. Also, Sam convinced him to go shopping with her so he had an excuse. Not that he liked shopping that much but he was sure Sam would be a great distraction. He didn't tell her about the kiss but she suspected something was off and tried to cheer him up every now and then.

Then she told him she was meeting Marco at some pub and asked if Mario wanted to join. Of course he wanted to, he needed a constant distraction and hanging out and drinking with his friends was the best way to forget about Thomas, at least temporarily.

~

"So, why do we have to be here? It's so expensive!" Sam snorted in disbelief as she checked the drink list.

"Because Marco has a crush on the bartender boy." Mario pointed out with a grin, earning a glare from the blond.

"Shut up!"

Sam put the list aside, grinning conspiratorially. "Oooh, which one?"

"Guys, seriously, stop." Marco rolled his eyes but there was no way his friends would drop the topic now.

"5'9, short hair, cute smile, chubby cheeks." Mario pointed towards the counter casually and Marco buried his face into his palms, sighing in defeat and muttering something about how much he hates his friends.

"Wow, he is hot." Sam gaped, nudging Marco with her elbow. "C'mon, go talk to him."

"What? No. No way." Marco stuttered, shocked.

Mario gave him a serious look. "How many times have you been here this week? And don't lie!"

Marco blushed and looked away, the answer obvious.

"Okay, get yourself together and talk to him. Ask him about their best wine or whatever, then quickly change the topic." Sam grinned like a Cheshire cat.

"Yeah, like 'Hey! What's the best you got? Beside your gorgeous ass, baby.'" Mario joked, causing Sam to burst out laughing.

"This might work, actually." She added, taking huge sips of the air to calm down.

Marco didn't find it funny, because hello, he was struggling here. "Please, just leave it, okay?"

"No, not until you do something." Sam stated stubbornly then grabbed Marco's arm all of a sudden, pulling him up. Marco resisted but then Sam threatened him that she would go and talk to the cutie – as she called him – and tell him Marco had a crush on him and he didn't want to get embarrassed like that so he gave in and went to the counter obediently.

Mario and Sam exchanged a satisfied grin. He knew it was pretty ironic, trying to help his friend with his love life when he couldn't even manage his own but he decided it was different. He didn't want to think about Thomas right now so he got another shot of tequila after two jugs of beer. Sam gave him a disapproving look – she didn't like when Mario got too drunk, it always led to throwing up – but she didn't say a thing.

Fifteen minutes later Marco game back with a grin on his face.

"Wow, looks like someone had success." Mario whistled approvingly, swaying in his seat a bit.

Marco scratched the back of his head, sitting beside Sam. "Yeah, well, apparently, I was obvious." He admitted sheepishly.

"Tell us everything." Sam insisted, staring at him intently. Mario was also interested though he had a harder time to focus since his vision was getting blurry and his mind hazy.

"You guys are hopeless." Marco grunted, earning a playful slap on his shoulder from Sam.

"C'mon, don't tease us."

"Fine." He sighed. "So, his name is Mario and I got his phone number. And tomorrow is his day off so we are meeting." He admitted, shyly.

"That was quick, good luck then." Sam grinned, genuinely happy for her friend.

"Thanks." Marco smiled then cast a worried look at Mario. "Are you okay?"

Mario shook his head and stumbled to his feet, running towards the gent's toilet, pushing people out of his way.

"Great." Sam sighed then after a quick, meaningful glance Marco got to his feet and followed Mario.

Mario had reached the toilet just in time before he threw up violently, eyes getting watery as the alcohol burnt through his throat. He clutched on the side of the WC, coughed, and threw up again. His vision was blurry, his head dizzy, unable to think. Not that he wanted to remember what and how much he had drunk. He could guess it was way too much.

"Man, you okay?" Marco's voice came from behind him but Mario couldn't turn to look at him as a third wave hit him. He made a weird gesture with his hands though and Marco guessed it meant he would be better after he emptied his stomach.

At sober state, Mario would never kneel or sit on a floor of a pub's toilet and would never dare to touch the WC either but right now he couldn't care less and nothing mattered. Marco patiently waited for him to get everything out then helped him to his feet, wiping his mouth with a tissue then throwing it into the toilet, flushing it.

"Let's wash your face." Marco suggested and Mario leaned against him, not able to move on his own. Marco dragged him to the washstands which was pretty challenging, considering Mario was taller and heavier but Marco's adrenaline gave him extra strength. He washed Mario's face, then took him out of the pub. Sam was waiting outside, staring at him angrily.

"Are you out of your fucking mind?!" She yelled so loud the people nearby snapped their heads towards them.

"Sam, not now." Marco tried but was silenced sharply.

"Yes, we are doing it right now." She stared at Mario who tried to look back but his vision kept going black. "What were you thinking?!"

Marco thought it was pointless to argue with Mario in his state and also, Sam shouldn't be such a drama queen but knew better than to voice his thoughts so he just kept giving support to Mario who was about to collapse at any given second.

"Sorry." Mario mumbled and sat down on the grass with some help.

"You promised not to get drunk with me." She fumed but then her voice changed from fury to worry. Quick switch. "You're not telling me something again." There was a hint of hurt in her tone and Mario felt guilty. Marco simply looked confused.

"Am I missing something?" Marco asked, placing a hand on Mario's back supportively. "You know you can tell us anything."

There was nothing to tell, really. Mario shook his head but immediately regretted it because he felt sick again though he was starting to sober up, his dizziness being replaced by a horrible headache and burning lungs. Marco handed him a bottle of water from his bag and he took it gratefully, drinking all of it on one go. He felt a bit better then.

Sam crossed her arms over her chest, looking at him expectantly. "You better start confessing."

"Sam, please, maybe we should-" Marco was cut off again.

"It's Thomas, isn't it?" She asked bluntly. Bull's eye. Mario tensed upon hearing the name and Sam sighed. "You told me everything was going well between you." Her tone was reproachful now and she had every right to be angry, Mario knew that. He shouldn't have lied. But he couldn't tell the truth either.

"Who is Thomas?" Marco frowned but was ignored. Sam sat beside Mario, too.

"What's going on?"

After minutes of silence Mario gave up. He still had some alcohol in him which made confessing a bit easier, he should hold on to it as long as possible. "He kissed me." He admitted at last.

"Okay… And?" She pushed on cautiously.

"Ran away? Keeps ignoring me." Mario buried his face into his palm, hiding the tears welling up in his eyes. He didn't know what was wrong with him, being on the verge of crying because of a stupid crush on a football player. It just really hurt him that Thomas was so ignorant.

He had enough of pretending he was okay. He was broken and wanted to look like it, not caring about his pride. It was just too much. He didn't know what was going on or where things with Thomas were leading but he didn't want it to end like this. Apparently, Thomas didn't share his opinion.

Sam placed a gentle hand on his back, stroking him calmingly while she quickly explained things to Marco. "Thomas is a patient at the hospital and they got to be good friends but it's more than that."

"Thomas… as in Thomas freaking Müller?" Marco gasped amazed, momentarily forgetting about the circumstances.

"Marco!" She gave him a look of disbelief.

"What?" He asked back sheepishly and Mario couldn't help smiling at that.

"When did this happen?" Sam asked after Mario wiped his tears and blew his nose.

"What?"

She rolled her eyes. "The kissing thing?"

"On Wednesday."

"And you didn't go to work today." She put the pieces together.

"I couldn't." Mario whined. "He ignores me."

"Dude, you need to talk, there must be a reason why he kissed you." Marco pointed out not so smoothly.

"Marco's right." Sam agreed. It must be pretty damn cold in Hell if these two were agreeing on something. Mario shrugged, not knowing how he was supposed to talk to Thomas if he was ignoring him.

"Let's get you home, okay?" Marco suggested, helping him up.

"You will call him from my phone tomorrow, okay?" Sam stated and Mario didn't have the strength to argue. He just wanted to go home and sleep, and to pretend this was just a nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooookay, don't hate me for this one.
> 
> Please give me feedback, they are really important to me and it's always nice to see people taking their time to comment on my work. ;)
> 
> For those who have already left feedback, you are awesome, keep it up! <3


	9. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After the loss against Poland and the fact that we didn't get any Müllez I figured you'd like a new chapter, so here it goes~
> 
> My beta was once again the amazing [bloodsugar](http://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodsugar/pseuds/bloodsugar).

Thomas kept glancing at his phone every other minute, hoping Mario would call or text. After finding out Mario didn't go to work on Saturday he felt like a total ass and decided to call him when he got home. He tried and tried but Mario didn't pick up so then he sent a few messages but hadn't received a reply yet. Thomas was starting to worry when he realized Mario must be ignoring him and it would be unfair to blame him for that. Thomas had avoided him for three days after all. He went to bed around 2 am, lying awake for a good two hours, hoping Mario would call.

When he woke up the first thing to cross his mind was to check if Mario had called. He hadn't. Thomas felt awful. He'd really fucked things up. What if Mario never talked to him again?

He couldn't go out for a walk to clear his head, not only because of his illness, but because of the fans and the paparazzi. He was in no mood for either. But being practically locked up in his home with nothing else to do but watch TV, read, eat or sleep wasn't ideal either. It left too much time to think.

At 4:12 pm his phone buzzed and he almost fell off of the couch as he jumped to pick up. The screen read Mario's name and Thomas' heart skipped a beat as he put the phone to his ear.

"Hey!" His mouth felt suddenly dry.

"Hi." Mario greeted him, sounding casual.

"So, you weren't at the hospital yesterday, I was worried." He admitted, desperately not wanting to have an awkward situation but he had a feeling this conversation was going to be pretty forced and awkward anyway.

"Yeah, I had other plans." Mario replied and Thomas hated how nonchalant he sounded. He hated himself even more for replying only a surprised "Oh."

There was a long silence but the fact that Mario didn't hang up gave Thomas some hope at least. Gathering his courage, he said. "Look, I'm sorry for… you know, about Wednesday."

"Are you?" Mario asked back and Thomas frowned.

"Of course. I was such a dick, I'm really sorry."

"You were a dick when you ignored me." Mario pointed out, his tone cold, edged with hurt.

Thomas sighed, troubled. "I know. Look, I am sorry, okay? But I think of you as a friend and don't want to-"

Mario cut him off. "Only as a friend?"

The world around Thomas was spinning because seriously, what was he supposed to answer?! Chewing on his lips, he was thinking hard how to escape the situation without fucking things up further.

"Thomas?"

"Yeah?" He asked timidly, fearing what Mario would say.

"I just want an honest answer. Do you regret Wednesday?"

'Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!' Thomas was screaming in his mind, walking from wall to wall in his living room. He really wanted to lie but he also owed Mario the truth and everything was pretty fucked up already so he thought nothing he could do would make things worse. He gulped thickly then said "No."

He could sense Mario smiling on the other side of the phone. "I hoped you would say that." Suddenly, Thomas felt a huge weight falling off his chest.

"And I'm still sorry for avoiding you. I freaked out." He admitted.

"Just, don't ever do that again, okay?"

Thomas nodded even though Mario couldn't see it. "Okay." Then asked hopefully. "See you on Wednesday, then?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world."

Thomas hung up, grinning like a maniac. He still wasn't sure if Mario felt the same way – he got the impression but he didn't admit anything - but they finally talked and that was enough until Wednesday. He slept like a baby that night, waking up with a smile on his face.

~

Thomas couldn't quite put a finger on how he felt towards Mario. He liked Mario, a lot, and he felt physically sick when they didn't talk. Also, it was pretty clear he felt more than friendship but he had no idea how Mario felt.

He wouldn't call it love, that would be absurd, but it wasn't a simple crush either. Thomas settled for unexplainable affection at last. He had had crushes and a few girlfriends but those were nowhere near this feeling. And he knew he wasn't really into girls but as a professional football player he didn't have the luxury to openly explore his sexual orientation.

Up until now it wasn't a big deal since he didn't have anyone who caught his interest this much. Mario turned his world upside down and Thomas would be lying if he said he didn't like it.

He met Mario in the garden after therapy and greeted him with a small, shy smile. Mario smiled back – acting as if nothing had happened – and sat beside Thomas on the grass, stretching his legs. They were silent and Thomas couldn't decide what kind of silence it was but wanted to break it desperately. He was trying to come up with something not too lame when Mario spoke out of the blue and Thomas wished they had stayed silent.

"Why did you kiss me?"

Thomas' cheeks turned red and he didn't dare to look at Mario whose eyes were fixed on him. He could feel it.

"I don't know." Thomas admitted quietly. "Got caught up in the moment, I guess."

"You guess?" Mario clearly didn't believe it but Thomas wasn't going to explain. "I think we should clear things up to avoid further awkward situations." He suggested.

Thomas glanced at him. "I won't do it again if that's what you're implying."

A chuckle tore out of Mario, causing Thomas to look at him fully now. "You are so dense, aren't you?" Mario grinned and Thomas' heart skipped a beat, because Mario couldn't be saying that. Since Thomas was at a loss of words, Mario continued, smiling fondly. "I like you. A lot. And I'm not sure about you but people don't just go around kissing other people if they feel nothing towards them."

The corners of Thomas' mouth tugged upwards into an idiotic, joyful grin. "You mean… you want to go out with me?"

"Yeah, if you want to." Mario smiled.

Thomas nodded eagerly, giving in with a grin. "I definitely want that."

Mario grinned, his eyes practically shining in joy and he playfully bumped his shoulder into Thomas'. "I still can't believe you ignored me though."

"I already apologized for that, okay?" Thomas laughed, moving a bit closer to Mario. He liked feeling him so close, it gave him a sense of comfort and calm.

Mario hummed but it was clear he intended to bring it up from time to time. Thomas didn't mind much though.

~

Even after hours, Thomas felt like flying above the ground. He couldn't wipe his stupid grin off of his face and he didn't want to. His heart was still beating rapidly against his chest as he remembered Mario asking for his address, telling him he was free the next day so they could hang out. He was going on a date with Mario. A real date! He couldn't believe his luck. He also couldn't believe what an idiot he was for doubting Mario's feelings. The world was pink and fluffy and everything was great.

Until the next morning when his rational self decided to appear and ruin his happy mindset. He was going on a date with Mario. Out in public. With a guy. As a couple. He wasn't ready to go out on his own, how could he be ready for this? It wasn't good. He hadn't thought it through. Hiding from the public since the accident made him feel like a normal person again but things were far from normal. He couldn't just appear out of the blue and announce he had a boyfriend.

He was freaking out again and he needed to tell Mario. For a few moments he feared Mario would think of it as a lame excuse but then he decided Mario was better than that and finally dialled his number. Mario picked up almost immediately.

"Hey gorgeous!" His cheerful tone felt like a kick in the stomach and Thomas gulped hard, forcing himself to speak normally.

"Hi! Okay, this is gonna sound like backing out and you must know I'm not but to be honest I don't think it's a good idea to go out. I haven't been seen in public since the accident and I don't want a pack of paparazzi following us and I really wanted to call earlier but I was freaking out again and I-"

"Thomas, calm down, okay?" Mario cut him off, sounding calm. He even chuckled a little though Thomas had no idea what was so funny.

Thomas took a deep breath. "Sorry."

"Okay, first, stop apologizing for everything. Second, don't worry about it I was thoughtful and cautious." He sounded really proud of himself and Thomas couldn't help smiling at that. "So, I have only one question."

"Yeah?"

"Chinese or Thai?"

"What?"

"Which one you prefer? Chinese or Thai food?"

"Um, Chinese. Why?"

Mario ignored the question. "I'll pick you up at six." Then he hung up, leaving Thomas to wonder what plans he had for the date. He didn't have too much time to think about it though, it was already ten to five and he needed to get ready.

After spending a ridiculous amount of time on figuring out what to wear, he settled on a pair of dark jeans, a V-necked black T-shirt and a blue hoodie. Mario rang the doorbell at 6PM and only grinned when Thomas asked where they were going.

"Just get in the car, you'll see." He said mysteriously and Thomas did as he was told.

Mario was driving a black Audi and Thomas wondered whether it was his or not, but he fit just perfectly in the white leather seats so Thomas didn't care. They were quiet, Mario's eyes fixed on the road, occasionally changing channels on the radio when instead of music there was news. Thomas didn't want to break the peaceful atmosphere so he stared out of the window, glancing at Mario from time to time. Sometimes their gazes met and they laughed and Thomas already felt like the happiest man on earth.

When they left Munich, Thomas couldn't hold back anymore and cast Mario a meaningful look. "Okay, you can tell me where we going now."

"You'll see, don't spoil the surprise." Mario grinned.

"But you're not a hitman, right?"

"Oh, it's only a part time job and you're not a target, don't worry." Mario shrugged casually, making Thomas burst out into laughter.

The ride was silent aside from the music coming from the radio and after a good hour they reached their destination, a small lake close to the highway but shadowed by trees. Thomas doubted many knew of this place, it looked wild and untouched. Mario grabbed a blanket from the back seat and handed a pack of food to Thomas, pulling him towards a narrow path.

They made their way carefully through the bushes and trees until they reached the lakeside. The weather was a bit chilly but there was no wind, the surface of the water calm and only the sound of grasshoppers broke the silence. The noises from the highway were faint and Thomas looked up at the sky, marvelling the settling sun.

"Do you like it?" Mario asked enthusiastically.

Thomas broke into a huge grin. "Are you kidding? I love it."

Mario was clearly pleased with himself. He put the blanket down and sat on it, taking the food from Thomas' hands and placing the boxes down. Thomas was lost in his thoughts until Mario tugged on his arm, gesturing for him to sit down.

"Not a five star restaurant but no paparazzi either." Mario stated with a sheepish grin as he opened a box of pasta, taking the chopsticks in hand and started to eat.

"It's so much better than a five star restaurant." Thomas smiled, touched by Mario's thoughtfulness. It was the perfect place with the perfect guy and Thomas couldn't stop smiling like an idiot.

They ate mostly in silence then started chatting of unimportant things after putting the empty boxes aside. Thomas couldn't remember when he moved close to Mario but he didn't seem to mind it. They were looking at the water, taking a short break from their conversation about whether Star Wars was the best movie ever when Mario put an arm around Thomas, who stiffened.

"Is it okay?" Mario asked, uncertainty clear in his tone.

Thomas moved closer to him, nodding. "Yeah, it's just… I've never been on a date with a guy before." He admitted shyly.

"Really?" Mario gave him an incredulous look then broke into a wide grin as Thomas nodded. "I feel honoured then."

"You should be." Thomas teased, snuggling even closer to him. Mario rested his chin on his head, holding him tighter. They sat there in pleasant silence for god knows how long and Thomas didn't want it to end but eventually he was getting really cold and Mario suggested going back. He reluctantly agreed.

He was about to get in the car when Mario appeared behind him and hugged him tight, his breath hot against Thomas' neck.

"Will you freak out if I kiss you?" Mario asked bluntly, clearly trying hard to control himself. Thomas' breath hitched at the sudden feel of Mario's whole body against his back but it was definitely pleasant and he smiled, turning to face him.

Mario's gaze was intense and bright and Thomas was lost in his ocean blue eyes, not even realizing Mario's hand on his face until he stroked his lower lip with his thumb. Thomas sucked in a sharp breath then tilted his chin and leant forward to meet Mario's lips halfway. He closed his eyes, warmth spreading through his body as soon as Mario's mouth covered his. It was so much better than that pathetic little peck he'd gave him a week before and he couldn't help wrapping his arms around Mario's neck, and pulling him closer.

A small moan left his lips, giving Mario a perfect opportunity to slide his tongue into his mouth, exploring it slowly, passionately. Thomas was kissing back eagerly, wanting more of the intoxicating feeling, pushing his whole body against Mario. Up till now, he was mostly attracted to Mario's personality but being pressed together like this woke the desire in Thomas. And he wasn't the only one.

He smirked as Mario groaned into the kiss and pushed Thomas back against the car, kissing him hard and deep, cupping his face between his palms to have better access and leaving him breathless when they broke apart for air.

"I didn't know I wanted it this bad." Thomas admitted, smiling shyly at Mario, still having his arms around his neck. Mario smiled back.

"Yeah, me neither." He gave Thomas a quick peck or rather, he tried to and failed, because Thomas didn't allow him to pull back and opened his mouth to give way to Mario's tongue once again. Mario didn't need much persuasion and kissed him breathless once more before finally pulling back, resting his forehead against Thomas', panting for air.

"We should get in the car." He suggested at last and though Thomas nodded in agreement, he had no intention of letting Mario go. He ended up being pushed against the car one more time, Mario claiming his lips hungrily before they finally managed to part and got in the car.

They were grinning like two idiots all the way back to Munich and Thomas had a hard time not kissing Mario when he got out of the car. He had a feeling Mario was struggling too and it somehow made everything even more tempting. He couldn't wait for next time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yayy, their first date! Things are getting heated *winks*
> 
> Hope you liked it, I had fun writing this one!
> 
> Please leave feedback if you like the story and have time ;)


	10. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos and comments so far, I love you all <3

Thomas was in Heaven. The date with Mario had been just perfect and he couldn't stop grinning like an idiot even the next day. He thought of Mario as his boyfriend now and even though it was probably a bit too soon for that, the word just seemed right and natural. He had been waiting too long for this, now wasn't the time to worry about rushing things. It wasn't like they had only met a few days before, they had known each other for months and if Thomas wanted to be honest, they had flirted through most of that time.

It was around ten in the morning when his phone buzzed and he eagerly picked it up, hoping it was Mario. He was wrong, it was his mother and though he was happy she called he couldn't hide his disappointment.

She told him she would come over in the afternoon and Thomas freaked out because there was no way in hell his mother wouldn't recognise his stupid smile. However, he didn't want to tell her, not yet. It would be too soon and it was a conversation for another time when he could also come out. His mother thought he would marry a nice girl someday and have beautiful children and Thomas wasn't ready to shatter her expectations yet. And even with Mario, they could adopt kids if they wanted to. He wondered if Mario would want to but then shook his head, deciding if 'boyfriend' wasn't rushing it then discussing adopting kids definitely was.

Time appeared to crawl as slow as a snail because no matter what he tried to do to occupy himself his thoughts always wandered back to Mario, thinking if he had felt as great as Thomas on their date or if Mario is thinking of Thomas and missed him just as much as Thomas missed him. It was stupid, they hadn't been apart for a whole day but Thomas was already feeling awful and he couldn't wait for the next day to come which meant therapy session and the possibility of running into Mario at the hospital. He considered calling but didn't want to appear clingy so he suppressed the urge and tried to make something to eat.

Thomas wasn't great at cooking but he could survive on his meals and since he knew it would probably be a bad idea to cook he settled on making a simple salad with the ingredients he could find in his fridge.

Around 2 pm there was a knock on the door and he opened it, trying to look as neutral as he could but the corners of his lips were twitching up into a constant smile.

"I'm so glad you are feeling better." His mother pointed out with a warm smile and Thomas tried to shrug it off but couldn't help but blush a bit.

"The doctors say I'm showing good progress so I might be able to go back this year." He replied and though it wasn't a lie it wasn't the truth either. Oh well.

"That's great news." She exclaimed patting his shoulder then started towards the kitchen, carrying a huge bag. Thomas quickly took it from her.

"What's in this?" He asked amazed, peeking into the bag and seeing numerous boxes.

"I've made your favourite meals." She replied simply. Thomas couldn't help but stare at her.

"Mom, I'm really thankful but don't you think it's a bit too much? I could host a dinner party twice a week for a month." He exclaimed.

"It's quite the exaggeration, don't you think?" She shook her head at him but smiled.

"Guess I'll have to host those dinner parties to figure it out."

"First you have to concentrate on getting better." She pointed out.

Thomas snorted. "Oh, c'mon, I'm all better. I'm bored to death here, locked between four walls." He gestured around the room.

She smiled at him sympathetically. "I know honey, but you should bear with it a little longer."

Thomas sighed. She was right. Even if he was feeling well enough to go out he wasn't sure he was ready for the media and the fans. He just wanted to be with Mario and go out with him like two normal people but knew it was pretty impossible when you were a world-known football player who was supposed to be straight. Still, it sucked.

"What's eating you?" The voice snapped him back to reality and Thomas realized he must have dazed off.

"Um, nothing." He lied.

"You are still a terrible liar." His mother said bluntly, staring at him expectantly.

With a sigh, Thomas admitted part of the truth. "I'm just worried about the media and all the fuss; it's been too long since I've had to deal with them."

She smiled and kissed him on the left cheek. "You will do great, don't worry."

"Yeah." Thomas agreed without thinking because he couldn't allow himself to over think things again. He had to learn to deal with the problems when they arose, not creating them unnecessarily.

~

"You should call him." Sam stated, causing Mario to sigh for the hundredth time.

"I don't have anything to say." He reasoned but it was a pretty lame excuse.

"And that is fine. Just ask him about his day or something."

"He spends all his days at home so I doubt he has much to say."

"Okay, how about you admit you miss him?"

"We had only one date." Mario pointed out and Sam groaned annoyed, close to tearing her hair out at how dumb her best friend was.

"Who cares? You've been crushing on him for months; it wasn't exactly your first date you've met many times."

"Those were different."

She threw her arms up. "I give up. Just stop giving this angsty-teenager-helplessly-in-love vibe, it's getting on my nerves."

Mario sneered ironically. "You are such a great friend."

She smiled happily. "I know." Then she got up and Mario started to think she dropped the topic when Sam turned back from the doorway and said over her shoulder with a smug grin. "Send him a text, at least."

Mario rolled his eyes and turned towards the television where there was some kind of cartoon going on. He tried to distract himself with it but it was a hopeless case so he grabbed his phone at last and stared at it for like fifteen minutes. Then sent probably the lamest message he had ever typed.

'Can't wait for tomorrow.'

He dropped the phone on the table and buried his head into a pillow, groaning in frustration and cursing himself for how big an idiot he was. He hated to admit it but Sam was probably right, he was acting like a stupid teenager with a crush.

To his greatest surprise, he immediately got a reply.

'Me neither ;)'

Thank god Thomas was apparently as dumb as he was.

~

Thomas really improved and Dr. Gomez was pretty impressed by how lively and cheerful he was, doing anything they had asked him to and not having constant breakdowns over things he couldn't do. Even Jogi smiled reassuringly at him and had a few nice words to say. However it all meant nothing to Thomas because the only thing he could think of during the whole session was Mario.

He didn't even try to tone his stupid grin down when he caught sight of him in the corridor, talking to a nurse and showing her various papers. Thomas tapped him on the back and Mario turned; his expression a bit weary at first but then he flashed a bright smile at Thomas who thought he had gone blind.

"Could you please take care of the rest? I'm having my break now. Thank you." He smiled at the girl who just nodded and left without a word.

"Tough day?" Thomas inquired, genuinely interested. He wanted to know everything about Mario whether it was his biggest secret or the most common thing; he was thirsty for information.

"Just the usual." Mario waved it off, smiling. "I've had to take care of a few fractured limbs today."

"Wow, not only handsome but good at his job." Thomas really meant it even though he acted as if it was a joke.

"Well, you know, have to make an impression on my boyfriend." Mario grinned, saying the last word really quietly but for Thomas it was like a shout and he was startled for a second. Mario's face dropped, his expression worried. "Uhm, sorry, I thought… I just-" He stammered awkwardly and - oh god - he was thinking Thomas didn't want him to be called that when it was quite the opposite.

"No, no, it's all right, I'm just surprised you said it, you know, sooner than I expected." Thomas admitted, wanting to wrap his arms around Mario and kiss him to reassure him but there were just too many people around to make it possible. He had to settle for a genuine, sheepish smile. "You know, I really suck at this whole how-to-behave-in-a-relationship thing."

Mario chuckled. "Me too. Guess we just have to be ourselves then."

Thomas nodded. "Yeah, that could work."

"So, I don't know about you but I haven't eaten for like six hours. How do you feel about going to the cafeteria?"

"Works for me." Thomas grinned and followed Mario towards the elevator. He hoped they could be alone in there at least but fate wasn't very generous at the moment and they ended up with four more people. Thomas noted with a bit of satisfaction that Mario looked slightly disappointed too.

There was no way to have a personal conversation in the cafeteria with all those people around so they settled for unimportant small talks like news and Mario's studies and Thomas' team. Mario was eating a full meal but Thomas wasn't hungry and chewed on his chocolate bar rather unhappily. He hated acting.

He just wanted to reach out and hold Mario's hand or touch his fingertips at least but it was impossible. He would even be happy with their knees touching, but Mario was just too far for that.

"Is everything okay?" Mario asked with a frown.

Thomas leant on his elbows and sighed. "Yeah, just the crowd." He rolled his eyes and Mario chuckled.

"They haven't even asked for your autograph yet."

"It's a hospital, most people respect personal pace."

Mario raised an eyebrow knowingly, trying to hold back a smirk but failing. "Are you sure? Because I've seen that photoset of you at that party and I have to admit the photos were really… entertaining."

"Oh my god, did you Google me?" Thomas tried to keep his voice down but he was shocked to the core. That happened only once when Mats hosted a house party and he had a huge garden where they were running around shirtless, singing the national anthem. A paparazzi spotted then and took a few pictures - their managers were outraged and though the paparazzi didn't have the right and was sentenced to pay a huge amount of money for breaking the law, the pictures spread on the internet quicker than fire. That had been about a year and a half ago.

"I'd never do that." Mario stated, looking scandalised even at the thought then smirked. "Not me, my friends."

Thomas buried his face into his palms and mumbled "Oh great."

"C'mon, it's not a big deal, everyone has a few embarrassing story to tell." It wasn't very convincing though.

"Yeah, but yours isn't all over the internet." Thomas reasoned.

"Thank god." Mario laughed.

"You have to tell me, it's only fair." Now the perfect chance to get to know more about Mario but he declined it slyly.

"Life is not fair."

"You are mean."

"I know."

Thomas rolled his eyes but couldn't help smiling. Mario finished eating and put the tray aside, glancing at his watch and pulling a face.

"I should get back to work."

Thomas resisted the urge to pout because he was a grown-up man and knew Mario had responsibilities. He didn't have to like it though.

"Walk me to the exit?" He asked.

Mario nodded with a strange glint in his eyes but Thomas couldn't decipher what it was. He found out real soon when they get into the elevator and Mario pushed the button to the -1st floor.

The door opened and they stepped out to an empty corridor. As soon as the elevator's door closed behind them Mario grabbed Thomas by the shoulders and gave him a quick kiss.

"I wanted to do this for hours."

Thomas didn't know where he got his cocky side from but smirked challengingly. "It was pretty weak though."

Mario grinned at him, his eyes burning with lust and need and he pulled Thomas against his chest and crashed their lips together, one hand snaking around Thomas' waist while the other held him by the back of his neck, pulling him closer. Thomas moaned into the kiss helplessly, giving Mario's tongue a perfect chance to enter his mouth.

Thomas wrapped his arms around Mario's torso, pressing their bodies together tightly while kissing back hungrily. Mario's lips were intoxicating and his kisses were like bread for a starving man. He tasted of orange juice and mint and Thomas had never tasted anything better than that.

He could stay like that forever if the need of oxygen hadn't become essential, forcing them to break apart but only for an inch, their foreheads pressed together.

"I thought you had to get back to work." Thomas panted, chuckling.

"They can go on a few more minutes without me." Mario grinned.

"Wow, aren't you humble?" Thomas teased, rolling his eyes just for show.

Mario gave him a quick peck. "I know you like it."

Well, he wasn't wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how do you like the Müllez moments? Too fluffy, too much, not enough? Tell me! ;)


	11. Chapter Ten

"Do you like horses?" Thomas' voice was excited and cheerful but all Mario could do was release a frustrated grunt while checking the time. It was 7 am. On a Sunday. What the hell was wrong with this guy?

"Good morning to you too." Mario replied sarcastically, rubbing his eyes.

"Sorry, did I wake you up?" Thomas sounded genuine surprised.

"Of course you did. What do you think normal people do at this godforsaken hour?" Mario fumed but couldn't hold back a smile because hearing Thomas' voice first thing in the morning was simply great. He could get used to it. They could talk about time and sleeping habits later.

"Sorry, I'm just so curious. So, how do you feel about horses?"

Mario frowned. What did Thomas have in mind? He shrugged even though Thomas surely couldn't see it. "I don't have a problem with them. Why?"

"I was thinking…" Oh, it didn't sound very reassuring. "If you wanted to come horseback riding with me."

"Are you even allowed to do that?" Mario wondered aloud.

"Oh c'mon, sitting at home all day is driving me crazy. I know a really nice place just outside the city and they have a huge stable and many horses. It could be our next date." He sounded so excited and hopeful Mario couldn't say no.

"Depends on when you want to meet?"

"How about in an hour?"

Mario's eyes went wide in shock. "Are you out of your fucking mind?"

Thomas chuckled, obviously amused. "Alright, alright. At 11?"

"Much better. I'll pick you up, bye!" Mario murmured and hung up before Thomas could say more. He still had a good two and a half hours before having to wake up and he wanted to spend that time really well. Like getting more sleep.

~

At 11 am sharp Mario picked Thomas up and started driving, following Thomas' instructions after Thomas gave him a quick peck on his lips. For a few minutes they were silent but then Thomas started staring at him and Mario glanced at him, confused.

"What?"

"You know, hanging up on others is not very nice."

"You know, waking people up during the night is not very nice either." Mario retorted, with a half-grin.

"You are exaggerating, don't you think?" Thomas chuckled.

Mario replied with a serious tone. "Not in the slightest."

"Still…"

"Are you angry?" Mario asked, now only half joking.

Thomas broke into a huge, idiotic grin. "Nah, just feels nice to complain."

"Seriously, you should see a doctor." Mario sighed.

"I'm seeing one." Thomas countered, causing both of them to laugh heartily.

They enjoyed the comfortable silence for a while, stealing glances and smiling stupidly at each other.

Then Mario couldn't resist bringing up his worries. "Is it okay, by the way?"

"What?" Thomas asked with a frown.

"You know, doing something in public." Mario said plainly. To his surprise, Thomas only shrugged.

"I know the owner, he is a great guy and very discreet. You don't have to fear if he might call the media."

"Not that." Mario smiled, giving Thomas a suggestive look, causing him to blush a bit and shift in his seat uncomfortably.

"Well, obviously it won't be a good idea to even hold hands but it's not like we are going to do anything inappropriate. Just having fun."

A smirk appeared on Mario's face. "Define 'inappropriate'."

Thomas rolled his eyes. "You know damn well what I mean."

"I don't." Mario lied, grinning like a madman. "Is it inappropriate to tackle you down and kiss you breathless?" To his satisfaction, Thomas blushed even more and took a sudden interest in the scenery they were passing by.

"Yes it is." He replied shortly, his voice a bit more hoarse than usual.

Mario decided to try his luck and carried on. "Would you like it though?"

Thomas had to cough to hide his sharp intake of air because damn, he was getting hard and all Mario had to do was talk. It wasn't even real dirty talk but at the moment Thomas really hoped they wouldn't get there because he wasn't sure he could resist but he was also pretty confident not to lose his virginity in a car on their second 'official' date.

Unfortunately Mario took his silence as a free pass to continue. "I bet you would. I know you like kissing me because I like kissing you just as much." He admitted bluntly and Thomas shifted in his seat again, trying to muster all his willpower not to moan. "I've wanted to kiss you ever since we started talking; your lips are just perfect for kissing."

Mario waited a bit then asked teasingly. "Are you not going to say anything?"

Thomas was torn between want and sanity, his mind screaming to stop this and his body yearning for more, wanting Mario to kiss him breathless right now because his lips were like a drug he could never get enough of. Considering the two options real quick, Thomas came to a decision. "Pull over."

"What?" Mario glanced at him surprised.

"Just fucking pull over."

Mario did and as soon as the car stopped Thomas unbuckled his seatbelt and leant over to Mario, grabbing him by the neck not so gently and kissing him hungrily. At first, Mario moaned in surprise but then quickly took the lead, grinning against Thomas' lips.

Thomas wanted to wipe that annoying, self-satisfied smirk off Mario's face so he tilted his head to give Mario's tongue a better access while he placed a hand on Mario's thigh to support his weight and also to turn Mario the hell on. Judging by the sound coming from his throat, Thomas' little 'plan' was a success but he didn't expect Mario to run his fingers through his hair, grabbing a fistful of it, not painfully but hard enough to let him know who the boss was.

Things were getting out of hand and Thomas knew somewhere in the back of his mind that they should really stop before it was too late. Thank god Mario had some sense left because Thomas wasn't sure he would be able to stop, wherever this was going to.

With one last playful bite on Thomas' bottom lip Mario pulled back, panting for air and grinning like an idiot. Thomas was the exact copy of him and for a good thirty seconds they just looked each other in the eye, no need for words.

Then Mario's grin turned into a teasing smirk. "Didn't know you were this bossy." He wasn't joking.

Thomas smirked back. "Didn't know you would like it this much."

Mario laughed but didn't deny it.

~

Mario swore as he tried to get on the huge pinto horse he had got stuck with. Apparently Thomas had forgotten to mention he was not only a professional football player but a professional horseback rider too, whereas on the other hand Mario could barely manage not to fall off.

"Easy, you are so tense, no wonder she feels it." Thomas laughed as he was trying to help but obviously having fun at Mario's lack of skill.

"Of course I'm tense - she is huge and I don't want to break my neck if I fall off." Mario fumed.

"You are not going to break your neck, stop being such a drama queen." Thomas rolled his eyes but he was grinning.

"It's payback for the car-ride, isn't it?" Mario sighed when he was finally up in the saddle and Thomas got on his own black horse.

"Hardly, I suggested this before." He replied innocently.

"I have a feeling you chose the hugest horse you could find." Mario pointed out.

Thomas almost replied 'because you are also huge' but realized it really wasn't the best choice of words so he settled for a shrug and changed the topic as he grabbed Mario's reins.

"Let's go."

"Wait, wait, we are not going in there, are we?" Mario gestured towards the forest nearby, panicking.

Thomas refrained from laughing and replied with only a grin. "Don't worry, of course not. You are a beginner."

Mario rolled his eyes but he was too relieved to complain about Thomas' tone and expression.

"We are just going a few rounds so you can get used to her movements." He glanced at the horse.

"Her name is Nemesis." Mario stated as matter-of-factly, glad he knew at least this much. Thomas left it without comment.

It wasn't so bad, Mario had to admit, and after a few rounds he really started to get the hang of it and could relax a bit. Thomas kept talking to him about movements and riding methods and everything horseback-riding related and though Mario was really paying attention he couldn't ignore the way Thomas' hips swayed as his horse moved, making him wonder just how good he could move in bed.

He shook his head, cursing himself. Now was not the time to get turned on, he was sitting on a damn animal out in public. Okay, not so public because they were alone but still.

More or less, he managed to concentrate on Thomas' words and follow his instructions instead of wondering how he would look and feel under him in bed. Mario intended to find that out but didn't want to rush things or pressure Thomas into anything. He wasn't sure whether he had a boyfriend or not but he guessed the later. They should talk about it at some point in the near future.

They had fun during the afternoon and Mario seriously wanted to come back again, he had a great time and Thomas just looked so happy when he told him that he wanted to kiss him right then and there.

They had just got in the car, ready to leave, when Mario's phone rang. He glanced at the screen and answered with a sigh.

"Yeah?"

Remembering his manners, Thomas looked out of the window, trying to pretend he wasn't listening in but he couldn't not hear the conversation.

"Where the hell are you?" It was a girl's voice.

"Umm, outside the city like I told you in the morning." Mario said, rolling his eyes. Sam knew he had a date why was she calling? If it was about something unimportant he was sure to make her pay for it.

"And what is the time?" She asked sharply.

"Umm…" Mario frowned. Did he forget something? He quickly checked his watch. "It's half past five."

"Yeah and…?" She left the sentence hanging in the air and it took Mario a few seconds to remember.

"Oh, shit."

"Yeah, 'oh, shit'."

"Umm, I'll be home within the hour I think."

"You think?" Her voice was high-pitched and Mario had to hold the phone away if he didn't want to become deaf. "What the hell am I supposed to do or say?"

"I, I don't know, just lie, you're good at it." Mario grinned but obviously Sam wasn't in a joking mood.

"Flattery won't save your sorry ass now. What should I say anyway? That you are on a date?"

"Well, you don't have to go into details." Mario reasoned.

"Mario, you know they would want details and won't believe me if I said I don't know."

"Just figure something out." Mario pleaded.

"Fuck, they just rang the doorbell." She panicked.

"Okay, you know what; just tell them I ran to the supermarket because we were out of wine."

"That's so lame." She argued.

"Do you have a better idea?"

Sam groaned. "No." Then added with a sigh. "Shit, fine, but you owe one, you fucking idiot."

"Yeah, I love you too, bye!" Mario grinned and hung up.

Thomas didn't know what to think or make out of that conversation. Mario was having some kind of meeting with a girl and he forgot? Who was she? Why didn't he say a thing about it?

"Is everything okay?" He asked at last, going for something neutral even though his whole mind was screaming for him to demand answers. He silenced it by telling himself it was none of his business.

"Yeah, just…" Mario laughed awkwardly and scratched his neck, starting the engine. "I'm supposed to have a dinner with my parents right now."

"Oh, I'm so sorry; you should have told me you had other plans." Thomas apologized.

"It's fine, I just didn't check the time often enough." Mario laughed, shrugging.

Thomas couldn't hold back one question though. "Was the girl on the phone your sister?"

"Well, technically no, she is my best friend but like a sister to me. I don't have any siblings." Mario smiled, casting a glance at Thomas.

"She sounded angry."

"She just likes being dramatic. Don't worry, she will forgive me and handle the situation."

Thomas pretended to be satisfied with the answer and didn't push for more details but to be honest, he didn't understand why Mario's best friend – who was a girl nevertheless – was attending a family gathering. Whatever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I just had to include Thomas' love for horses somehow *grins*
> 
> Hope you liked this chapter, I had fun writing it.


	12. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww, so many kudos, comments and subscribers, you guys are the best!

Sam was trying hard to hide her worry and act normal when in reality she was so nervous she was sweating. Thank god she was wearing a black sweater. She swore silently that she would make Mario pay for this little stunt because of course she was trying her best to keep Mr. and Mrs. Gomez entertained but the story about Mario running to the supermarket was just so lame.

After half an hour of waiting, Mr. Gomez was getting really impatient, commenting on Mario's absence every five minutes.

"I'm sure he is just trying to find something really special." She lied, smiling awkwardly.

"He should have been more thoughtful. What was he thinking? Not getting ready in time…" He fumed.

"Actually, he did buy a pretty good one but I accidentally dropped it while getting ready." Sam said sheepishly, continuing the awkward smiling. Mrs. Gomez looked at her, worried.

"Oh dear, did you cut yourself?"

Sam shook her head, pushing her blond locks out of view. "Luckily no and it happened in the kitchen so we could mop it. That's why he is running late. I'm sorry."

Mrs. Gomez waved her off with a chuckle. "It's fine, sweetheart, it happens to all of us."

"Still, I feel a bit guilty for making him be late." Sometimes Sam wondered if she would be a good actress.

Mrs. Gomez sent a disapproving look at her husband. "See? Your constant complaints make this poor girl feel bad." He just rolled his eyes but didn't comment, knowing it would be pointless.

Meanwhile, Sam quickly checked the time. She talked to Mario about an hour ago so he should arrive at any minute. He'd better.

"So, did you take the driving license exam?" Mrs. Gomez's voice snapped her back to reality and she blinked a few times before answering.

"Oh, no, not yet. I want to take a few more lessons; I'm still a bit unsure when it comes to driving." She admitted. Thank god, finally a topic she didn't have to lie about.

"Does Mario help you?" Mr. Gomez asked.

"No, I don't want him to. I can manage on my own." She smiled, hoping Mario would enter any second.

"You don't have to feel embarrassed to ask. I'm sure he would help." Mrs. Gomez smiled, squeezing her hand reassuringly. Sam smiled politely, screaming inside. Where the hell was this bloody idiot?!

"I-" she started but then the rattling of keys interrupted her and she practically jumped to her feet, thankful she didn't have to say more. "Oh, it must be him." And with that she quickly ran to the door, arriving just in time for Mario to open the door and enter. She sent him a death glare then greeted him as though nothing was wrong, smiling.

"Sorry I broke the other bottle." She winked, hoping Mario would get the story. He was usually smart but sometimes he could be so dumb it hurt. Like when he was doubting Thomas liked him.

"It's fine, I've got a better one." He pushed the bottle into her hands and took off his coat, walking into the dining room.

"Mum, dad, I'm sorry I'm late." He grinned sheepishly, giving his mother a kiss on the cheek and shaking his father's hand. Mr. Gomez fixed him with a disapproving look.

"It's rude to make your parents wait." He stated. Mario scratched the back of his head awkwardly.

"Yeah, well, I just really wanted to get a new bottle since Sam-"

"Broke it. I already said sorry like a thousand times." Sam joined in on the conversation then changed the topic. "Now that both you and the wine are here, let's eat."

Thankfully the dinner passed without any awkwardness or arguments but both Sam and Mario released relieved sighs when they closed the door behind the couple. Sam was too tired to be angry at Mario but couldn't leave his actions without comment.

"Don't you ever do that again!" She pointed her index finger at him warningly.

"Sorry." Mario smiled sheepishly and he really meant the it.

"Where did you even get that wine?" She asked with a frown, glancing at the now empty bottle.

Mario laughed. "Well, I called Marco to help me out."

She shook her head in disbelief but was smiling at his bright idea. "Aren't you one lucky bastard? Having friends like us."

"Yeah, don't flatter yourself." Mario rolled his eyes, grinning. It earned him a slap on his shoulder.

"Shut up. Did the date go well at least? Was it worth it?" She asked curiously.

Mario beamed. "Totally."

~

Thomas had to admit that Mario having a girl best friend who was allowed to come to family things bothered him a lot but he also knew he had no right to question Mario and didn't want to appear jealous or clingy. He didn't want to make a fool of himself so when Mario called in the evening he pretended everything was okay and didn't voice his worries.

However he could barely fall asleep that night, the thoughts spinning in his mind making him unable to get some rest. It was around half past two in the morning when he finally managed to fall asleep and was woken by his ringtone.

Sleepily, he picked up without checking who the caller was.

"'ello?"

"Get up you lazy bastard, you are coming to training today!" Mats' tone was cheerful and almost deafening.

"What?" Thomas frowned, sitting up in his bed. "I swear to god if this is one of your weird jokes I-"

There was a different voice. "He is not! I can confirm!"

"Erik?" Thomas asked, wide eyed.

"Yeah, now get ready; we're on our way to pick you up."

Before Thomas could ask for details they hung up. For a few seconds, he was just sitting there like a lunatic, staring into nothing and then broke into a huge grin and practically jumped out of the bed, running to his closet to get some clothes.

He couldn't believe it. After so many weeks he was finally going to meet all his team-mates and train together. He felt like going home.

He knew he still wasn't in the best shape but couldn't care about it; he was just too hyped-up to think right now.

After 15 minutes the doorbell rang and Thomas practically flew to the door, opening it with a wide grin.

"Hey! We could have sworn you were still in bed." Mats laughed as he pulled Thomas into a tight hug then let him go, allowing Erik to do the same.

"I really hope you weren't joking." Thomas stated with a serious tone but he was still grinning like an idiot.

"Nope, Jogi mentioned something about your progress and we convinced him to let you join training." Mats explained with a smile.

"He called the team's doctors, two specialists and a physiotherapist and they all said it was okay soooo let's go!" Erik shouted enthusiastically.

Thomas locked the door and followed them happily. He hoped he wasn't dreaming.

They had indoor training for which Thomas was really grateful, and even though he was only allowed to do the simplest movements strictly under Dr. Gomez's supervision he hadn't felt this alive for a long time. (Except for his dates with Mario, of course.)

The team threw a little surprise belated-World-Cup-celebration party for him in the end of the training session and Thomas lost it right there, tearing up in joy.

"You guys are the best." He half-sobbed, half-laughed as they brought out the huge World Cup shaped cake with Thomas' name on it.

"Of course, we are world champions!" Bastian shouted through the cheering which became even louder and from then on things got crazy and a bit of a blur. They weren't supposed to drink but apparently no one cared and even though Thomas wasn't allowed to drink with all the pills he was still taking, he figured a small glass of beer wouldn't hurt.

Thomas got home around four pm – he had to hail a cab since no one was in the state to drive him home – feeling tipsy and tired and joyous, not being able to wipe his stupid grin off of his face. He fell into the bed and almost immediately fell asleep in his jeans and sweater.

~

Mario was sitting in the dining room, numerous books and notes spread on the table around his laptop as he was writing his assignment. He had completely forgotten he had to hand it on Tuesday and it was Monday evening. Twenty pages on a trauma that could affect a person's personality - he was so fucked; not only because starting an assignment that late was simply stupid and he couldn't hope for a good grade, but also because his thoughts kept wandering off, mostly to Thomas. It was hard to focus when his mind was filled with the fierce and rather dirty make-out session they'd had in his car on the previous day.

"Oh my god!" Sam squealed in the living room causing Mario to roll his eyes and shout in annoyance.

"I can't study with all that noise!"

Sam didn't reply and Mario thought she either got offended or just finally realised she should really keep her voice down when he was trying to study. The door flew open, revealing Sam who was grinning like a madwoman, holding her laptop in hand.

"Look, your pretty boyfriend is all over the news." She said in one go, excited.

Mario frowned. So much for studying. He signalled for Sam to show him the screen and she brought the laptop closer, placing the device on his books. There were various pictures of Thomas entering and leaving the German National Team's training facility, smiling wholeheartedly and chatting happily with his teammates. He looked so happy it made Mario smile.

"Aww." Sam smiled; no irony in her tone. "You are so in love with him."

Mario narrowed his eyes at the comment. "I'm just happy he is happy." Okay, maybe his feelings for Thomas were more than a crush but calling it love would be too soon.

Sam discreetly didn't comment. For a few minutes she let him read the short article and look at the pictures once more then grabbed her laptop, heading out.

"I suggest you call him."

"I have to study."

"Yeah, I bet your pretty head is full of Thomas so you better call him, then you can get back to study." She pointed out bluntly then left. Mario considered her words then gave up, murmuring to himself. "I hate when she is right."

He grabbed his phone and dialled Thomas' number. It took Thomas some time to reply and Mario was about to give up when he finally picked it up, sounding sleepy.

"Hmm?"

"Wow, someone is fresh, I hear." Mario teased.

"Oh, hey Mario." Thomas' voice changed and Mario could imagine he was smiling. It made his heart beat a little faster. "What's up?"

"Just seen your pictures and wanted to let you know how good you look in them."

"What pictures?" Thomas frowned.

"The ones of you with your team…?"

Thomas groaned. "Ugh, the news spread real quick. I wanted to tell you myself." He admitted grumpily.

"You can still tell me." Mario grinned.

There was a little bit of silence, then: "Well, Mats and Erik came to pick me up in the morning and took me there and I could take part in the training. Then they threw me a huge party and brought a cake and we drank and you just woke me up."

Mario chuckled. "With all your meds? I can imagine you were pretty drunk then?"

Thomas laughed. "It wasn't that bad, I just got tipsy." He explained, then as an afterthought he added. "I haven't seen the private photos though."

"Make sure you send the funny ones to me, I'll have them printed and I will hang them on my wall."

"If you wanted a picture of me you could have just asked." Thomas grinned and Mario almost choked on his own saliva because even if Thomas meant it as a joke he could not take it as an innocent offer and imagined a picture of Thomas naked hanging above his bed. He would definitely have nice dreams with that, it would be better than any dream-catcher.

"Mario? Are you here?"

"Yeah, yeah, sorry, just dazed off."

"Did you have dirty thoughts?" Thomas teased.

"Well, define dirty." Mario challenged, grinning to himself as it was Thomas' turn to go silent for a few seconds.

Then he said "That thing in the car, that was pretty dirty I would say."

Mario hummed in agreement. "It was pretty great, too."

"Yeah, we could repeat it…" Thomas left the sentence hanging in the air suggestively.

Mario groaned. "You are a fucking tease Thomas Müller." He declared.

"I know you like it though."

"You have no idea."

Thomas laughed heartily and Mario thought it was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. However, no matter how bad he wanted to keep the conversation going and maybe turn it into amazing phone sex he A) had responsibilities and had to study and B) was in the dining room, with Sam only a few meters away lying on the couch. He decided it would be smarter to end the conversation now before it was too late.

"Sorry, but I gotta go. I have an important assignment due tomorrow and I have barely even started."

"Oh, okay." Thomas was probably pouting and Mario smiled at the thought.

"Can I call you tomorrow?"

"You can call me whenever you want to." Thomas clarified.

"I'll hold you to your word then." Mario chuckled. "Have a nice evening, bye."

"Good luck with your assignment, bye."

They hung up simultaneously and Mario couldn't wipe his smile off of his face as he turned his attention toward the books. Okay, maybe he was in love with Thomas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, such a missed opportunity to write phone sex. Sorry! It just didn't feel right in my head. Maybe later... ;)
> 
> What do you think, who should say "I love you" first? Tell me your thoughts about the story!


	13. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween guys!
> 
> You are the best, over 100 kudos, I love you all! <3

Thomas had been staring at his phone for five minutes without looking away for a second. He had tried to call Mario three times but Mario hadn't picked up. Then he asked a nurse if she knew where he was. She didn't know. Typical. At last he sent Mario a message 'meet after my session?' Thomas didn't get a reply in the last five minutes and he gloomily put his phone into his pocket and walked up to greet Jogi who had just arrived.

Thomas tried hard not to let his feelings and thoughts get in his way but it was pretty difficult and even though his performance was good he knew he could have done better. The whole time he kept thinking about Mario, hoping to see a message, or a missed call at least, on the screen of his phone. However, he was disappointed when he checked. Nothing. He feared Mario was ignoring him, that he finally got sick of him and just didn't want to hurt him by saying that to his face. Thomas wondered if he was clingy or paranoid. Maybe he was both. Although he couldn't turn his feelings off even if he knew they were stupid and beyond reason.

After his session he went to the desk where they usually met and when he couldn't find Mario there he went for a walk in the huge garden, hoping Mario was waiting for him there. There was no sight of Mario at all so he shuffled back to the hospital building, inquiring another nurse if she knew where Mario was.

"Maybe he is performing a surgery." She wondered, smiling politely.

Thomas thanked her and walked away because staying at one place would have made him seem dumb and he already felt terrible enough. How could he be such an idiot. How could he think Mario was ignoring him? He felt even worse now. Of course Mario was working, he was an intern and a soon-to-be-doctor and obviously he couldn't take his phone with him into the operating room.

Thomas wanted to bang his head against a doorframe at his stupidity but instead he called his mother to pick him up.

~

Mario wiped the sweat off his forehead and temples as he walked out of the A&E department. A six hour long brain surgery. It was really interesting and he was grateful he was allowed in, even if he was only allowed to watch. It was a big thing. He felt guilty for not being able to tell Thomas but things happened in a rush and he didn't have the time to text.

He checked he had a lot of missed calls and two text messages from Thomas. He quickly read them then decided to call Thomas on his way home. He wished he hadn't missed their date but he had responsibilities and he was at the hospital to learn, not to flirt around.

~

Thomas was glad his mother didn't insist on coming up into his home because he wanted to be left alone. Thankfully, he could dissolve her worries easily, complaining about stressing too much to do well and be back on the team.

He spent the rest of the afternoon doing practically nothing, walking from one room to another, watching a bit of TV, reading a few pages of a book, replying to emails and eating one or two bites of food, then repeating the whole cycle again.

He was lying on the couch and playing FIFA on his Xbox when his phone rang. Thomas almost dropped the controller, then he crawled to reach it and grinned like a madman when he read Mario's name.

"Hi!" He picked up happily.

For a second, Mario was taken aback by the unexplainable happiness but then smiled and said "Hey handsome." Before Thomas could say anything he continued. "Look, I'm sorry for today, I was allowed to witness a brain surgery and didn't have time to text you. I thought you would be mad, actually."

Thomas smiled, admittedly embarrassed. "Well, first I was thinking you were trying to ignore me but then a nurse told me you probably had something important to do so it's okay, I understand."

"So, problem one is already solved then." Mario chuckled.

Thomas frowned. "Do we have problem number two?"

"Our missed date?"

"Yeah, right, well… umm…"

"I'm on my way right now to be honest."

"What? Are you calling while driving?" Thomas panicked a little. "That's dangerous and I'm fairly sure it is against the law."

Mario released a short, wholehearted laugh. "Headset, baby." The nickname slipped out of his mouth easily and he didn't know if Thomas liked that sort of thing but he couldn't take it back. Thankfully Thomas didn't comment on it, only chuckled.

"Okay, right. So, do you have something planned?"

"How about you get your coat and we go for a car-ride?"

"Are you already here?" Thomas asked amused, hurrying to the window to check. He saw a familiar car pulling into his driveway.

"Just arrived." Mario grinned.

"Give me a second." Thomas hung up immediately and ran to the bathroom to get ready in record time. He quickly changed his loose T-shirt into a better blue V-neck. Then he locked the door and walked to Mario's car, getting inside comfortably as if it were part of his daily routine. Well, he wouldn't mind that.

"Hello!" Thomas turned to Mario grinning as soon as he closed the door and Mario grinned back. Then he reached for Thomas' head and pulled him into a quick, welcome kiss.

"Hi!" He said after they broke apart.

"God, I missed you so bad." Thomas blurted, then blushed. Mario let out a happy laugh.

"I missed you too, baby." Apparently, Thomas liked the nickname because he blushed a shade darker but smiled sheepishly. "Any place you want to go?"

Thomas was glad for the change of topic because that meant he had some time to compose himself a bit. "Umm, not really. Driving aimlessly is fine by me."

"Good." Mario nodded, then started the engine.

They were driving along quietly, only the music coming from the radio and the engine making soft sounds but neither Thomas nor Mario felt awkward or uncomfortable. Silence was good as long as they had each other's presence. It was nice. Thomas had no idea how long Mario had been driving but then he pulled into an empty parking lot which was on a hill and Thomas was met with a beautiful view of the city. It was breath-taking.

Mario grinned proudly. "Do you like it?"

"Wow, yeah, of course." Thomas smiled at him. "Thanks."

"I know you like a nice scenery." Mario shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal but Thomas could see how satisfied he was.

Their eyes met and even in the darkness Thomas could see how Mario's eyes were shining with happiness, an exact copy of Thomas'. Without thinking he leant forward and pressed his lips against Mario's, kissing him shyly, almost carefully, like he was waiting for an invitation. He got it.

Mario parted his lips slowly, letting Thomas' tongue enter his mouth. He brought a hand up to Thomas' nape, putting gentle pressure on it to encourage him further.

Thomas had no idea where his courage came from but he didn't stop to think about it and instead moved his hand up to stroke Mario's cheek, earning a soft moan. Mario kissed back, first slowly but then hungrily and what once had been an innocent kiss was turning into a passionate orgy of tongues, mouths and teeth. Mario was holding Thomas like he never wanted to let him go and Thomas was grabbing his shirt tightly, leaning in as close as possible, not caring that the shifting gear was digging into his ribs.

"We should… uhh… slow down…?" Mario panted when they broke apart for air, their lips brushing against each other softly, their foreheads pressed together.

Thomas closed his eyes for a few seconds, trying to calm his rapidly beating heart without success. "Yeah." He nodded but didn't move. Neither did Mario.

In the next minute they resumed kissing with renewed want, Mario fisting Thomas' T-shirt while Thomas wrapped his arms around his torso, his hands stroking Mario's back first through the fabric but then getting bold and sliding under it, causing Mario to moan into Thomas' mouth and gently bite down on his lower lip.

Thomas trembled in excitement, his jeans tightening as Mario pushed his T-shirt up a bit too, his fingers ghosting over Thomas' abs. They broke apart, panting for air while resting his hands on Mario's arms.

"Maybe we should really stop now…?" Mario suggested, eyeing Thomas carefully.

"I don't- I don't want to but-" Thomas went silent for a bit but then Mario put a hand on his chin and lifted his face gently to look him in the eye.

"But what?"

Thomas blushed madly, trying to look at everything but Mario's face. He gave up because it was impossible to look away from that intense blue gaze.

"I just don't want my first time be in a car's backseat." He whispered, biting his lip in anticipation.

Mario suppressed an inhuman sound. "You mean you have never…"

Thomas shook his head. "Um, not with a guy." He admitted.

Mario thought his jeans were impossible tight before but clearly he had been wrong. He had had a wild guess that Thomas maybe was a virgin but now that he had said it aloud made him sure.

"We don't have to rush things." Mario reassured Thomas, giving him a quick peck on the lips, Thomas kissing back instinctively. "If you don't like something just tell me, okay?"

Thomas nodded. "Promise." He smiled.

"Good." Mario nodded, pulling him in for a tight hug, inhaling his sweet scent. Thomas felt so right in his arms he never wanted to let him go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, things are getting heated ;)


	14. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it took me quite a time to update, [my beta](http://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodsugar/pseuds/bloodsugar) and I were both busy.
> 
> Anyway, here's the new chapter, it's pretty long I think and probably my favourite one so far. Tell me what you think of it!
> 
> Thanks for all the feedback so far, you guys are the best! <3
> 
> Also: Götzeus is not just implied anymore, they are a side-pairing. If you want to read more/less about them, let me know, please!

Okay, maybe Thomas was a virgin but he was a healthy, grown man who had needs and that is the only reason he had to jerk off three times in a row after his latest date with Mario. That, and because Mario was fucking hot. Even though he wasn't sure where the whole thing was heading to, he was prepared not to stop the next time it happened.

Damn, he hadn't wanted to stop the last time but his virgin side had kicked in and he really hadn't wanted to have his first time with Mario in the back seat of a car. He wanted it to be a bit more special. However, Thomas was fairly sure he wouldn't care next time because he wanted it and if things got heated in a car then he was damn sure he'd follow the urge.

Realizing that he didn't know much about gay sex, Thomas spent the next day doing some useful research on the internet. And by research he means watching porn. At first it was a bit strange but Thomas quickly got the hang of it and started to enjoy what he was seeing which ended in another jerk-off session. Well, Thomas had to know what his body liked after all.

By Friday night Thomas reached a point where he thought he would never be able to look Mario in the eye after pleasuring himself so many times and thinking of him while moaning Mario's name breathlessly when he came. Then Thomas figured Mario probably did the same, if not in the last few days, then at least after their dirty make-out session in his car. He got hard just thinking of Mario masturbating.

They really had to take their relationship to the next level because Thomas was getting unbearably horny.

~

The therapy on Saturday helped make progress again. Dr. Gomez was satisfied and even Joachim managed a proud smile and clapped Thomas' back reassuringly. Thomas left the room with a huge smile all across his face, partly because of his success but mostly because he was meeting Mario.

He caught sight of the other man on his way to the elevator. Mario was standing at the receptionist's desk, filling out papers, looking hot in his white coat and with his serious expression. Thomas approached him with a bright smile and tapped him on the shoulder. Mario turned smiling and his smile widened further as he realized it was Thomas.

"Hi!"

"Hey! Are you busy?" Thomas tilted his head towards the papers.

"Nah, just a few more minutes then I'm free to go." Mario grinned.

"Awesome." Thomas grinned back then leant against the desk, trying to act nonchalant when his heart was beating faster than normal. He studied Mario silently, eyeing his furrowed eyebrows and sparking blue eyes then his gaze fell on Mario's lips, god, those sweet, dirty lips which could kiss him Thomas breathless and make him lose his mind. He gulped thickly at the image and Mario glanced at him, a devilish smirk appearing on his face. The damn bastard was well aware of the effect he had on Thomas.

Thomas rolled his eyes and snorted, forcing himself to look away because he feared if he looked more he wouldn't be able to stop himself from kissing Mario in public. And that would definitely be bad; he needed to gather all his self-control. No matter how much Thomas wanted it he had to think clearly because his career was at stake. He couldn't allow himself such a major slip.

Suddenly, Mario was leaning in close, snapping Thomas out of his thoughts and whispered in a manly tone. "If you keep this up I'll drag you into a storeroom and kiss you breathless."

Thomas almost moaned at the obvious strain in Mario's voice - clearly Mario had a hard time controlling himself, too.

"Well, I don't have any objections." Thomas said quietly and it was Mario's turn to suppress a groan.

"Jesus, Thomas." Mario fumed, but he was grinning, probably trying to decide which storeroom they should go to. Thomas practically giggled at the thought.

Mario finished his work within minutes then winked at Thomas. "Be right back, I gotta change."

Thomas resisted the urge to follow him. Thankfully, Mario was true to his word and was back in five minutes, wearing a blue pair of ripped jeans and a simple black shirt, holding his black leather jacket in hand. The only thing Thomas didn't like that he was talking on the phone. They finally had some alone time; why people did people choose this moment to bother Mario?

"For the fifth time, how the hell would I know if you are a good kisser or not?" Mario groaned, half-amused, half-annoyed. He sent Thomas an apologetic grin, pointing at his phone.

"But Sam and Mario keeps teasing me, my feelings are hurt." Marco whined.

"Actually, I don't really care about your precious feelings at the moment." Mario replied cruelly, laughing.

"You are so mean." Marco complained.

"And you are so drunk." Mario pointed out, then added. "Where are you by the way, it's surprisingly quiet in the background."

"We are over at your place, of course." Marco sneered.

"What? Was it Sam's idea? I'm going to strangle that stupid woman."

"Don't be mad, Mario, we still haven't drunk your bottle of whiskey. I know you are hiding it under you bed." Sam yelled into the phone, causing Mario to hold his away from his ear for a moment. He heard an excited "Where?" in the background.

"Who is that?" Mario panicked. He was blessed with his friends, drinking at 4 in the afternoon.

"Oh, Marco brought his boyfriend over." Sam snickered.

"What the fuck guys? I swear if you wreck anything-"

"Calm down sweetheart, it's my home, too." Sam countered.

Mario was scandalised. "You don't even pay me a rent."

"Of course not, I'm your friend." Sam laughed. "She is a free-loaner, Mario, don't let her!" Marco shouted in the background.

"Is this how you treat your friend who invites you and your precious boyfriend over?" Sam was talking to Marco now, and Mario was getting enough of their stupidity because no matter how amusing it was he wanted to have some time alone with Thomas who looked pretty uncomfortable at the moment.

Mario rolled his eyes. "Just don't break anything." And with that he hung up, not sure if they had even heard it.

"Sorry, apparently my friends are having a drinking party in my home and forgot to invite me." Mario fumed in fake anger, then laughed.

On the other hand, Thomas just frowned. "At your place? How come?" He asked while walking towards the exit.

"My best friend, you know, Sam, she lives with me at the moment and we have a few mutual friends so that's how." Mario explained.

Thomas felt like he was punched in the stomach. So, apparently, Mario's friend – who was a girl – not only attended family gatherings but lived with him. He didn't know what to think or how to bring it up but clearly it was written on his face because Mario asked "Are you okay?"

Thomas shrugged. "I'm- well, it's just strange."

"What?"

"That Sam lives with you." Thomas said bluntly but Mario only shrugged.

"It's like living with a sister. Well, I wouldn't know because I don't have any but guess it would feel like this. It's fun." He was smiling as he spoke about her and Thomas didn't like it, though he couldn't explain why.

"But you are not blood-related."

"Nope." Mario replied simply. While they were talking they reached Mario's car and got inside but Mario didn't start the engine. Instead he turned and eyed Thomas suspiciously.

"What?" Thomas asked confused.

"Are you jealous?" Mario asked plainly, his face serious.

"No, of course not." Thomas lied immediately, then blushed under Mario's meaningful glare. "Well, okay… maybe… a bit."

"You know you have absolutely no reason to be 'cause I'm not playing for that team." Mario smiled softly and Thomas blushed even more.

"I just- I didn't know you lived with her." Thomas admitted awkwardly.

"Does it matter?"

"Well, of course it does. I know so little about you." Thomas buried his face into his palms, sighing. "Okay, this conversation makes me look incredibly stupid."

Mario laughed softly and grabbed Thomas' wrists, removing his hands from his face gently. "Don't be dumb. If something makes you uncomfortable it's only fair you tell me."

After a bit of hesitation, Thomas smiled back weakly. "Sorry. I'm too clingy, right?"

"You are not. It's normal to want to know more about me." Mario stroked his cheek softly.

"Can I meet her?" Thomas asked, the idea coming up suddenly. Maybe if he met her he wouldn't be jealous. Maybe they would become friends.

Mario looked slightly taken aback but nodded. "Um.. sure, I'll ask her when does she-"

"No, I mean, right now. Can we go over to your place? I wanna meet your friends."

Mario's eyes widened. "Are you kidding? They are already pretty drunk and I'm afraid to introduce them even in sober state."

"Why?" Thomas asked, startled.

"Well, they can be pretty insane sometimes and they are already mocking me a lot about dating you."

"Mocking?" Thomas frowned.

"No, not in the bad way. But I already have your kit because they bought me one and then once I went home and had your posters plastered all over the living room walls and stuff." Mario admitted awkwardly.

On the other hand, Thomas was laughing so hard he was practically crying.

"It's not funny." Mario snorted indignantly.

"Oh, it is." Thomas was shaking with laughter. "I already like them."

Mario rolled his eyes. "See, that's why I don't want you to meet them. You would join forces against me."

"I can't promise anything." Thomas grinned, finally calming down. He made puppy eyes at Mario. "Please?"

Mario bit his lip hesitantly. He knew it was a bad idea but he couldn't resist Thomas for long. Thomas placed his hands on either side of his face and gave him a chaste kiss. "Pretty please?"

"Hmm… I'm not really convinced." Mario smiled and Thomas kissed him again, this time with more passion and need.

"Let me meet your friends." Thomas whispered against his lips and Mario shook his head.

"I'm gonna regret this." But then he was smiling and gave Thomas a quick kiss before dialling Sam's number to let her know they were on their way.

~

"Oh my fucking god!" Sam practically screamed as soon as she hung up, drawing Marco and Mario's attention.

"What?" Marco asked with a frown. Sam sent him a mysterious look.

"Guess who Mario is bringing over."

Marco stared at her incredulously. "No, you are kidding."

"Who?" Mario joined in, clutching at his beer bottle.

Sam glanced from Marco to Mario, then back to Marco then yelled "Thomas freaking Müller!" Just as Marco yelled the same. Mario almost dropped his beer.

"You've got to be joking." He eyed them suspiciously but they were grinning madly.

"Nope, our dear friend is dating a real celebrity." Sam stated proudly, grinning and taking a few sips from her drink.

"I know him." Mario said out of the blue.

"Very funny." Sam laughed but seeing Mario's serious expression she stopped. Marco threw himself on the couch next to his boyfriend.

"You know Thomas Müller?" He asked, surprised.

"Yeah, we were neighbours for about two years."

"Wow, cool." Sam beamed at him but Mario didn't look very thrilled about meeting Thomas.

"What's the matter, Sunny?" Marco put his arm around Mario, smiling softly. "Were you guys enemies?"

"No, not really." Mario admitted, blushing a bit.

"Ohmygod, you were dating!" Sam squealed, pointing at Mario amazed.

"Were you?" Marco turned to him.

"I wouldn't call it dating." He admitted.

"So you just… you know… um…" Marco started awkwardly but then Mario paled.

"No, oh my god, no, I haven't slept with him." He clarified.

"All right, boy, you gotta tell us the story before they arrive." Sam stated, leaning forward.

Mario sighed. "Okay, guess it's unavoidable after all." He was glad he had drank otherwise he wouldn't be able to speak so freely. "So, I was kind of having a crisis back in those days and we were good friends and I told him I kissed some guy at school and I was freaking out and thought it was wrong and all and then… Well, he told me there is nothing wrong with being gay and he kissed me to prove that." He practically said it all at one go, startling Marco and Sam. "Umm, so yeah, this is all." Mario added after a few minutes of silence.

"How kind of him." Sam was the first to comment, genuinely affected.

Marco only hugged him and gave him a quick kiss on the lips, whispering "Oh, Sunny."

"So, I'm not sure he wants to meet me." Mario voiced his worry.

"Don't be silly, you are our friend now and I'm sure he would be happy to see an old friend." Marco waved it off.

"And you have to meet the other Mario." Sam grinned and she got to her feet, swaying a bit, and walked to the kitchen to bring more drinks. She called out for Marco and Mario from there. "Guys, a little help?"

~

"So, Sam lives with me, Marco is my best friend from high school and he has a boyfriend, I think his name is Mario but I haven't met him yet. That's all you need to know." Mario said when they were in the elevator. "That, and don't take them seriously because they are hella drunk. Also, don't believe anything they say about me – it is all lies."

Thomas chuckled then gave Mario a quick peck on the lips. "Don't worry, I'm sure we will get along just fine."

"That's what I'm afraid of." Mario murmured but the door opened in that exact moment and Thomas was taken aback by the loud music coming from a certain door. Moreover, it was no ordinary song; it was the national anthem that they always sang before games. Mario made a face, sighing. "See?"

Thomas laughed, amused. "I like it, actually."

Mario pushed the door open and his friends greeted them with loud cheers and whistles and shouts of "Welcome to the party!" Mario wanted the ground to open up and swallow him. It was definitely not the way to introduce his boyfriend to his friends.

"Guys, seriously?" Mario tried to shout louder than the music, then he walked to turn the volume down so they would be able to speak in a normal tone.

"So, that crazy girl on the left is Sam." Mario pointed at Sam who jumped off the couch and came to Thomas, shaking his hand.

"Hey, nice to meet you, I've heard a lot about you. Mario keeps talking about you all day long." She grinned, earning a glare from Mario.

"I hope he says only good things about me." Thomas joked.

While Thomas and Sam were talking, Marco introduced his boyfriend to Mario.

"The two Marios finally met." He laughed, earning himself an eye roll from both of them.

"You will never get tired of it, will you?" His boyfriend sighed.

"Not in the near future." Marco replied cheekily, giving Mario a quick kiss on the head.

"So, we have Marco here." Sam pointed at Marco and Thomas shook his hand. "Then Mario Götze." She said with a huge grin and for a second Thomas looked confused but then Mario turned to him and his face lit up.

"Holy hell, how small the world is!" He exclaimed and hugged Mario tightly. The other Mario stared at the scene completely dumbstruck, not understanding why his boyfriend was throwing himself at a total stranger.

"They know each other." Marco mouthed to him.

"Yeah, I feared you might not remember me." Mario said sheepishly after Thomas let him go.

"Of course I remember you. How are you man? You look good."

"You look good too." Mario grinned. "And let me congratulate you on winning the world cup." Mario extended his hand and Thomas shook it eagerly.

"Well, yeah, thanks. You know, a man's gotta do his job."

"Okay." Sam clapped her hands together, silencing Thomas and Mario and getting attention from the boys. "Now that everyone is here I think we should open that bottle you are hiding under your bed." She sent a meaningful glance at Mario.

Mario threw his hands up in defeat, laughing. "Fine, go get it."

"Thanks for your sacrifice man." Marco laughed and clapped his shoulder.

~

Thomas was laughing hysterically, leaning against Mario – Marco's boyfriend – who was pretty much in the same state. Marco and Sam were telling a story, but had to stop from time to time because they were laughing too hard. Mario was sitting with his arms crossed over his chest, sending them a death glare.

"I'm not joking, he just took off his pants and went for a quick run on the street completely naked!" Marco slapped his knees, wiping his tears off with his other hand.

"You must be joking." Thomas asked in disbelief but the look on his boyfriend's face told him otherwise.

"Actually, it wasn't that funny back then, I was really worried the police could arrest him for public indecency." Sam added with a half-serious face.

"Well, you can't blame him, I've never seen you consume so much alcohol without passing out." Marco glanced at Mario who didn't find it as funny as his friends did.

"I'm glad you are having so much fun." Mario stated sarcastically. Thomas turned to him and kissed him on the cheek.

"Don't be so grumpy, I still like you." He grinned. Mario couldn't not grin back.

"Well, why don't we move onto Sam's drunken stories? She has quite a few." Mario suggested.

"Which one do you think the best? The bus one?" Marco laughed and Mario nodded.

"Oh no." Sam buried her face into her palms, blushing madly.

"Oh yes. So she drank practically a whole bottle of vodka with her friend and they sang the opening of some soap opera all the way home on the bus. And let me tell you, she isn't Beyoncé." Mario said, then burst out laughing at the memory. Even Sam was laughing awkwardly.

"We had fun at least."

"Oh, I'm sure you did but as for the other passengers…" Marco trailed off, giving her a meaningful look.

"Why don't we talk about the time you broke the door." Sam sneered at him.

"Well, because no one remembers how that happened?" Marco countered, taking a sip from his whiskey.

"Oh god, how can you not remember?" Mario gasped, staring at his boyfriend.

"Well, I was drunk as hell and we were fooling around with Sam and then the door just happened to be in my hands." Marco admitted.

"And where were you the whole time?" Thomas looked at Mario who made a sheepish face and admitted with a smile.

"Probably passed out on the kitchen floor."

"Jesus, guys, you really are something." Thomas stated, his eyes shining with joy. He really had no reason to be jealous, because Sam was amazing and if Thomas didn't know better he would totally think she was Mario's sister. And Marco was a nice, funny guy too, who happened to be his friend's - Mario Götze's boyfriend. Yeah, the world was indeed small.

"Yeah, we have a lot of great stories to tell but now let's hear about yours." Marco grinned, eyeing his lover meaningfully.

Thomas frowned at Mario. "Have we ever drunk together?"

"Um, no, I don't think so, we were underage." Mario replied after a bit of thought.

"Doesn't matter, you must have a story with alcohol, come on." Mario grinned, obviously happy that the awkward stories about him were long forgotten.

"Well, there was this one New Year's Eve party over my friend's place and it was pretty cold outside and we went out into the garden. They had this little pond which was covered in ice of course, and don't ask me why but we stood on it and jumped and stomped, trying to break it."

"Fuck, you were insane." Sam giggled and Mario nodded at her, laughing.

"Yeah, we were. So we were trying to break the ice but it didn't work so the others stepped off and I gave it one last stomp and then it broke and I was thigh-deep in ice water then."

"Oh god, I would have loved to see it." Marco chuckled.

"Yeah, well, it was pretty fun because my jeans froze in an instant and I could barely take them off."

"I'm an amateur compared to you." Thomas sighed, earning a wave of sounds of disagreement from the others.

"We all have seen those pictures." Marco clarified, causing Thomas to blush.

"Yeah, well, thankfully they couldn't take pictures of what was going on inside the house." Thomas grinned to himself.

"Don't tease us." Mario bumped his friend's shoulder playfully.

"Well, I was already pretty wasted and got incredibly hungry, and found a cake lying in the fridge. So I took it out and started eating it with my hands and I had cake all over my face and my shirt, my team mates could hardly breathe they were laughing so hard. And I only know this from the pictures they took."

They all burst out laughing joyously, trying to catch their breaths. "Don't worry, we don't have cake here." Sam assured him as soon as she calmed down a bit.

"Such a pity, remind me to buy one next time." Mario added, earning a glare from his boyfriend. He wrapped his arm around Thomas, giving him a quick kiss.

"So, now that we all shared our best drinking stories, I call for another round of… SHOTS!" Sam squealed in excitement, giggling as he grabbed the bottle and filled their glasses.

Thomas hadn't had this much fun in a long time.

~

It was around 2 am and everyone was getting sleepy so they decided it was time to call it a night. Mario was lying on the couch, snoring softly while Marco was stroking his hair affectionately, grinning happily at him.

Mario was just coming back from the guest room, waving at Marco and Mario. Marco shook his lover's shoulder gently and he looked up dumbly, blinking.

"Time to go to bed, Sunny." Marco whispered, giving him a quick kiss, then helping him to his feet and dragging himself into the room, kicking the door closed with one foot.

"As for you two." Sam pointed at Thomas and Mario as she stumbled to her feet, totally wasted. "I don't care if you have sex but please, do it quietly, I need my beauty sleep."

As soon as her room's door was closed, Thomas looked at Mario, gaping. "She is pretty… honest." He couldn't find a better word, not when his brain wasn't functioning very well due to the amount of alcohol he had consumed.

"You could say that." Mario smiled, then got to his feet, pulling Thomas up with him. "So, do you want to take a shower or-"

"God, no, just give me a pillow." Thomas yawned as he followed Mario to his room.

However Mario came to a halt as he opened the door, turning to look at Thomas confused.

"What? You don't have a bed?" Thomas joked.

"Umm, is it okay if we share it?" Mario asked with a serious expression.

"I can't believe you just asked me that."

"Okay, sorry, but I had to." Mario smiled sheepishly.

"Come on." Thomas grabbed his hand and pulled him in, pushing Mario down on the bed, fully clothed and lying beside him, snuggling up into him comfortably.

Mario wrapped an arm around Thomas' waist loosely and pulled him closer, inhaling the sweet scent of his hair - strawberry and melon, with a hint of alcohol. Thomas placed his hand over Mario's and murmured something which sounded like "Love you." but Mario couldn't be sure. He smiled into Thomas' nape nevertheless, his eyelids feeling heavy as he fell asleep within seconds, a smile on his face.


	15. Chapter Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh yeah, rating has gone up. *smirks*
> 
> Tags got updated, too.
> 
> Thanks for all the lovely comments, I love you all! <3

Mario woke with a stir, looking around the still dark room, waiting for his vision to adjust to the darkness. Thomas was breathing softly beside him and Mario couldn't help but smile fondly at him. He glanced at his alarm clock. It was 6am, way too early for waking up so he moved closer to Thomas and tightened his grip around the boy's body.

Thomas shifted a bit and pressed his back against Mario's chest, humming in appreciation. Mario grinned into Thomas' nape, placing a soft kiss on it. Thomas took Mario's hand gently and moved it down his chest and tummy, wanting Mario to caress him. Mario was confused, not sure whether Thomas was awake or not, but did as Thomas wanted anyway, drawing small patterns on Thomas's front, careful not to wander too low.

Thomas rolled his hips against Mario's and Mario felt his erection awaken. This was not good, he had to cool down. Just as the thought crossed his mind, Thomas half-turned, his blue eyes shining in the dark, a playful smirk visible on his face.

"You know, you don't have to be such a gentleman." He teased, placing a small, sloppy kiss on the corner of Mario's mouth.

"I just want to make sure you want it as much as I do." Mario whispered after Thomas pulled back.

Thomas chuckled then fully turned toward Mario, pressing his semi-erection to Mario's thigh. "Are you sure now?"

Mario let out a small laugh. "Well, I can feel-"

"Just stop fucking talking." Thomas growled as he rolled his eyes, then silenced Mario with his lips, swallowing whatever Mario was about to reply with. If Mario wanted proof he truly wanted it, Thomas sure as hell was going to provide it.

He pushed at Mario's chest while kissing, making Mario lie on his back and he half-leant over him, sliding a hand under Mario's shirt to stroke his abs. Mario groaned into the kiss and Thomas noted with satisfaction that Mario was taking the lead, putting his hands on Thomas' face and deepening the kiss, stroking Thomas' cheeks with his thumbs.

Thomas really enjoyed kissing but he wanted so much more. So he pulled back, sitting on his heels and pulling Mario up with him. He grabbed the hem of Mario's shirt and pulled it over his head then tossed it to the floor, marvelling at the sight. He was glad for the darkness because it made him comfortable and bold. Mario tugged on Thomas' shirt and soon it joined Mario's on the floor.

Thomas leant forward, his lips meeting Mario's halfway, their mouths pressing together in a slow, passionate dance while their hands explored each other's torsos. Thomas were caressing Mario's back while Mario's fingers were busy teasing Thomas' nipples, pulling small moans of pleasure from the football player. Mario pulled Thomas closer, their chests flat against each other, causing them to pull apart at the feeling, panting for air.

"Are you sure you-"

"Jesus, Mario, I'm a grown man, I know what I want." Thomas snapped playfully, grinning at his boyfriend who looked at him sheepishly.

Mario threw his hands up defensively. "Alright, I won't ask again." He promised.

"Good." Thomas grinned and pushed Mario back down the bed, climbing on top of him and kissing his neck, biting at the skin playfully.

Mario tilted his head to encourage Thomas while he placed his hands on Thomas' hipbones, his fingers sliding into Thomas' jeans teasingly, enough for Thomas' breath to hitch in excitement. However, Thomas was determined to carry on and didn't let himself be distracted as he moved from Mario's neck to his nipples, wetting one with his tongue while stroking the other with one hand. It was Mario's turn to inhale sharply.

Thomas grinned in triumph though it lasted only until Mario's fingers started working on his fly to free him from his jeans. In an instant, Thomas found himself on his back with Mario on top of him, tugging his jeans down. Thomas lifted his hips to help Mario get rid of the useless piece of clothing. Mario pulled it completely off while Thomas kicked his socks off, his hands reaching for Mario's shoulders. He pulled Mario down for a lustful kiss, his boyfriend happily obliging as he lied on top of Thomas, sliding one hand between their bodies and covering the bulge in Thomas' boxers.

Thomas broke the kiss with a loud moan, thrusting into Mario's hand. "Please, please." He mumbled with his eyes closed, holding Mario's shoulders tight. He didn't know what exactly he was begging for but at this point he would settle for anything Mario was willing to give. Oh, and he was willing.

Mario trailed down Thomas' chest and abs, peppering his body with kisses until he reached the hem of his boxers. For a second, Thomas thought he would stop but then he pressed his lips against the bulge through the fabric, placing a kiss on it first then mouthing on it until finally taking it into his mouth.

"Oh, fuck!" Thomas cried and immediately covered his mouth. He was glad Mario couldn't see how bright red his face was.

Mario stroked his legs teasingly, his fingers rubbing Thomas' knees for a bit then going up to stroke his thighs, then finally slipping into his boxers, almost touching Thomas' now painfully hard cock.

Thomas was on the brink of insanity. He wanted Mario desperately, wanted it to last forever but at the same time he was pretty aware he wouldn't last two more minutes if Mario kept this up. The feeling of Mario's skin against his drove him crazy and the feeling of his mouth made him see white.

Mario finally pulled his boxers down, and took Thomas' erection in hand, causing Thomas to moan loudly against his palm, helplessly trying to keep his voice down. Mario stroked him a few times, then took the tip of his cock into his mouth and Thomas cried out against his hand loudly, his free hand instinctively flying to grip Mario's head.

Mario pulled back a bit, confused.

"Don't you fucking dare stop." Thomas' voice was shaky and coming out in short pants, clearly close to his climax. Mario wanted to reply with something witty but decided against it and turned his attention back to Thomas' rock hard erection. He took it into his hand again and gave it a few licks before his mouth engulfed it once again, making Thomas moan against his hand. Mario bobbed his head up and down, stroking Thomas' cock with his hand in time with his movements and soon Thomas was tugging on his hair urgently. Mario pulled back and leant over Thomas, removing the hand covering his mouth to replace it with his mouth and stroked him to completion.

Thomas practically screamed against his mouth, his hands gripping Mario's shoulders tightly as he came, his body momentarily going numb and his vision white. Mario smiled against his lips as Thomas came down from his high, his breathing going back to normal though it was still a bit shaky.

"Fuck." Thomas panted and Mario chuckled, placing a kiss on his neck. Sometimes Thomas' vocabulary wasn't very polished but it was one of the many things Mario liked about him.

Thomas turned to Mario with a stupid grin. "That was amazing." He placed a quick kiss on Mario's lips which turned into another quick kiss and then into a real kiss, with teeth and tongue, filled with lust and passion.

Thomas could feel Mario's hardness pressing into his thigh and he pulled back, blushing as he asked. "Um, can I…?" He reached down for Mario's bulge and covered it with his palm.

"Do you want to?" Mario asked seriously and Thomas bit his lip. Well, he wasn't sure if he could give a blowjob, he had never done it, but he wanted to try anyway.

Instead of giving a reply, Thomas just nodded and pushed Mario down on his back, helping Mario get rid of his jeans and socks. He left the boxers on on purpose, so he could mimic Mario's previous actions. Mario didn't seem to mind at all though.

Thomas started stroking Mario through the fabric, his hand finding the right angle easily and Mario's blissful moans encouraged Thomas further so he started kissing along the length, mouthing here and there, causing Mario to inhale shakily. Thomas grinned, then grabbed Mario's boxers and pulled them down, taking Mario's manhood in hand and stroking it. He feared it might feel weird but it felt natural and he let his instincts and Mario's reactions drive him, leaving all the worry out of it.

Mario put a hand on his head encouragingly, not forcing Thomas to go but not stopping him either and Thomas leant forward to take the tip of Mario' cock into his mouth, tasting him carefully.

"Oh, god." Mario panted, throwing his head back. Thomas continued, satisfied he could make Mario fall apart under him. He took as much of him into his mouth as he could then started moving his head up and down, his tongue running along the flesh, his teeth scraping Mario a few times but Mario didn't seem to mind, in fact, his moans grew louder.

"God, Thomas, you're so fucking good at it, don't stop, gods, please, don't stop." Mario was close to pleading and Thomas felt his manhood twitch in need again. He wondered if he could come just from Mario's dirty talk.

However, he didn't have enough time to find out because Mario soon pushed him back gently and Thomas got the sign, wrapping his fingers around Mario's cock, stroking him hard and fast to push him over the edge.

Mario came with a manly moan, his back arching a bit as he shot his semen into Thomas' hand. It took Mario a good minute to come back to his senses then he grinned at Thomas, sitting up and pulling him in for a long, loving kiss.

~

Mario opened his eyes slowly, his eyes adjusting to the rays of sunshine creeping into the room. There was a dull pain in his head, he was sweaty and tired, yet he had never felt better in his life as he glanced at Thomas' peaceful form pressed up against him. Mario smiled fondly and placed a soft kiss on the back of Thomas' head, tightening his grip around Thomas' body and pulling him even closer.

He couldn't fall back asleep but didn't want to get up either so he started drawing non figurative patterns with his fingers on Thomas' back, occasionally placing a kiss on his nape or shoulder.

After their actions during the night, they had decided to get a bit more comfortable and Mario had made the bed, so now they had a blanket covering both of them and they wore only their boxers.

Mario had no idea how much time passed but Thomas stirred, then turned around, and Mario met the most beautiful sleepy eyes he had ever seen. A huge, happy smile spread across his face as he whispered "Morning, baby."

Thomas chuckled, burying his face into Mario's chest. "You like that nickname a lot." He mumbled.

"You don't?" Mario asked while stroking Thomas' hair softly.

"I didn't say that." Thomas grinned and looked up to him, giving Mario a quick kiss. Then he buried his face back into Mario's chest, humming appreciatively as Mario continued to stroke his hair.

~

"Morning!" Marco said cheerfully as he closed the door behind him, smiling at Sam who was sitting in the kitchen, her forehead resting on the table. Her reply was a grunt, which caused Marco to laugh.

"Whoa, you don't look too good." He joked, causing Sam to raise her head and give him a glare.

"Just, don't." She mumbled, then put her forehead back to the counter. Marco chuckled but being a great friend didn't tease her more. Instead, he asked "Coffee?"

She grunted again and Marco took it as a yes. She didn't move or talk until Marco put the cup of coffee in front of her then sat on the chair across from her. She rubbed her face, yawning.

"Why are you up so early?" Marco inquired, taking a cautious sip.

"I have to get my cousin from the airport. Her plane lands in like two hours, I guess, so…"

"Want me to give you a lift?"

"Yeah, that would be good." Sam smiled, drinking from her cup. "Where is Mario by the way?"

"Still asleep. He is like a marmot I swear."

"Who is a marmot?" Mario's voice came from behind, causing both Marco and Sam to laugh out.

"He sensed we were talking about him." Sam grinned.

"You are, Sunny." Marco smiled at his approaching lover and pulled him down for a quick, morning kiss.

"My eyes!" Sam shaded her vision with her hand, sighing.

Marco poked out his tongue at her. "You are just jealous."

Sam glanced at him with a mocking expression. "Jealous? Don't you mean envious?"

Marco rolled his eyes, mumbling "Whatever." while Mario chuckled, then took Marco's cup and drank all his coffee.

"Hey!" Marco glared at his boyfriend who responded with an innocent look.

"What?"

"Come on Marco, don't be mean, relationships are about sharing." Sam teased. Mario nodded in agreement causing Marco to frown.

"Oh great, so now you two are siding against me." He sighed dramatically. "Should I remind you, you want something from me." He sent Sam a meaningful look.

"Don't blackmail me."

"Yeah, Marco, be nice to your friend." Mario added with a cheeky grin.

Marco rolled his eyes. "I knew you two would get along." He mumbled and didn't even bother to glare when Sam and Mario high fived each other.

There was a sound of a door opening, then with a "Hey guys, what's up?" Mario and Thomas entered the kitchen, looking unexpectedly fresh and well, as expected, a bit messy.

"Don't you guys have hangovers or something?" Marco stared at them.

"I had one, but then heard they were teasing you and I didn't want to miss this." Mario laughed.

"Seriously, why would I need enemies with friends like you?" Marco whined.

~

"So, what are your plans for today?" Thomas asked when he walked out of the bathroom, feeling much better after having a shower. They were alone now, because Marco gave Sam a lift to the airport and Mario tagged along.

Mario pulled a face, clearly unhappy. "I have to go to the hospital to get a few papers signed. I forgot it yesterday and I need those for school."

"Is it urgent?" Thomas asked as he sat beside Mario on the bed. Mario turned to him with a knowing grin.

"What do you have in mind?"

"I'm pretty sure you can guess." Thomas leant in close, grinning.

"You really are a tease, I hope you know." Mario chuckled and then closed the small gap between them, pressing his lips against Thomas'.

Thomas responded eagerly, bringing one hand up to Mario's neck while balancing himself with the other. Mario smiled against his mouth, wrapping his arms around Thomas' lean form, tugging on his shoulders gently. Thomas got the message and moved to sit on Mario's lap, straddling him.

Mario moaned into his mouth and tightened his grip around Thomas' body, pulling him flat against his chest. Thomas tilted his chin to give Mario better access but Mario had had enough of Thomas' mouth apparently, because he was kissing along his jawline and neck, pulling delicious moans from Thomas, who shut his eyes tight, hands clutching at Mario's shoulders.

Mario felt his jeans get tighter and noted with satisfaction that Thomas was in pretty much the same state and the sounds he was making, god, Mario wanted to know what other sounds he could hear from the boy.

Mario bit on Thomas' neck playfully, sucking the skin gently, causing Thomas' breath to hitch in need.

"Oh fuck." Thomas panted, one hand flying to Mario's hair and gripping it tight, causing Mario to grunt deeply. He continued his ministrations, mouthing on Thomas' collarbone, licking it teasingly.

Suddenly, Thomas pushed him back and Mario was confused but then Thomas grabbed the hem of his T-shirt and pulled it over his head then leant forward to kiss Mario passionately.

Mario met his lips hungrily, letting Thomas to kiss him breathless while he was stroking Thomas' naked back, his hands moving lower and lower until he reached Thomas' ass and he grabbed it playfully, causing Thomas to break the kiss with a loud moan.

"God, this feels good." Thomas panted flushed.

Mario grinned at him mischievously then pushed Thomas back down on the bed, lying over him and kissing his mouth, chin, neck then moving to his nipples, teasing one with his tongue while massaging the other with his fingers.

Thomas trembled under his touch, his hands instinctively flying out to grab hold of something, which was Mario's upper arms in this case, and he gripped them tight; not that Mario minded much. The noises coming from Thomas' delicious mouth were way too distracting.

Mario was moving down now, his tongue trailing a shallow pattern on Thomas' abs and Thomas was starting to lose his mind, his heart beating rapidly, his breathing becoming unsteady. All he could think of was Mario and 'god, yes, please' but then Mario stopped abruptly, causing Thomas to open his eyes and look at him questioningly.

Mario sat still for a second then Thomas heard the reason he had stopped – the rattling of keys and cheerful chatting.

"Oh shit, they are back already." Thomas cursed and sat up, reaching for his T-shirt to put it back on.

Mario laughed awkwardly. "They have the worst timing."

Thomas nodded while blushing. "Yeah."

Mario pulled him in for a quick but passionate kiss. "We are not done." He whispered against Thomas' lips, earning himself a grin in response.

"I hope so."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how did you like it?


	16. Chapter Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To all my wonderful readers:
> 
> I'm sorry it took me so long to update, the truth is I have a lot of things going on in my life right now and I don't have time to write, neither I have the mood for it. I don't want to burden anyone with my life story, I'm just saying it might take me a while to be back. This is not the end, I still have plans for this story and I don't want to cut it with all of a sudden. However, I can't say when I will upload again, if you want to know when it happens I suggest you subscribe to this story. 
> 
> Hope this hiatus won't last too long. Thank you for your understanding, I really love you guys! <3
> 
> Here, have a cute, fluffy Müllez chapter ;)

"So, what's with the goofy grin?" Mats came up to Thomas in the middle of training.

Thomas frowned. What was he talking about? He didn't even need to say it out loud because Mats understood him just by Thomas' confused expression.

"You keep grinning all day like it's Christmas already and you are twelve and got that big Lego train you've asked for." Mats pointed out with a smile.

"I've got a pair of cleats for Christmas when I was twelve." Thomas snorted indignantly, causing Mats to laugh out.

"Anyway, I'm not saying it's bad that you are so happy just curious about the reason." Mats admitted, eyeing Thomas seriously though his look was soft.

Thomas shrugged, giving him a sheepish smile. "It's good to be back, finally." It wasn't a total lie, he was happy to be back but that wasn't exactly the reason behind the grin he couldn't wipe off of his face even if he wanted to. And he definitely didn't want to.

However he couldn't tell Mats the real reason, even if he was a good friend. Thomas felt a bit bad, he didn't want his relationship with Mario to be a dirty little secret, but he had to be reasonable, and coming out to his friend now would be a bad idea. He had no idea how Mats would react. Not that Thomas didn't trust him, but it was better not to challenge fate.

Mats looked surprised. "Is that all?" Then he sighed dramatically. "And here I thought I was going to hear a juicy story about your love life because you seriously look like you're in love."

Thomas fought hard not to blush and even managed to make a joke. "Well, of course I'm in love." So far it was true. "With football and with the team." Okay, now not so true. It wasn't like he didn't like football - it was his life, his passion, his dream. But his love was Mario and he was probably the only thing that mattered to Thomas more than football. Before he knew Mario he thought it was impossible to have something more important than football. Now, he wondered if he ever had to choose, which one he would choose. Chances were high it would be Mario. Although Thomas hoped he would never have to make that choice.

Mats' hearty laugh snapped him out of his thoughts. "It's okay to love football and I don't want you to take this the wrong way but you should really focus on other things like relationships and stuff." Mats patted him on the back with a huge smile, then left to jog back to his post, for which Thomas was thankful. If only Mats knew.

~

"How do you feel about vampires?" Mario asked as soon as Thomas picked up the phone.

"Whoa, good evening to you too." Thomas replied sarcastically.

"Evening." Mario grinned. "So?"

"Umm, I don't know, why do you ask?" Thomas asked, confused. Halloween was long gone, why was Mario asking stuff like that?

"I've seen the trailer of this new Dracula movie and thought we could go watch it."

"Oh." Thomas couldn't hide his surprise.

"You don't like vampires or you don't like movies?" Mario asked with a playful tone.

"Oh no, no, I like both." Thomas stuttered then took a deep breath to calm himself. "When do you want to go?"

"If you don't want to go, just say so." Mario offered.

"It's not like I don't want to go, I just… public, you know." Thomas admitted at last with a sigh.

"Oh." Now it was Mario whose mood dropped. "Um well, if you'd feel uncomfortable then we can do something else."

Thomas was silent for a while, thinking hard. He was dumb to make such a big deal out of it. People would think he was with a friend and what was wrong with a guy going to see a movie with another guy? He just had to control himself and not make gooey eyes at Mario. He was a grown man, he could manage that. Probably.

"No. Let's go see it." Thomas stated firmly, coming to a decision.

"Are you sure?" Mario sounded unsure.

"Yeah, we will just have to keep our hands to ourselves, right?" Thomas chuckled, causing Mario to smile.

"I'll try but I can't promise anything." Mario joked. "So, are you free now?"

"At 8 pm?" Thomas feigned hesitation. "Hm, I guess."

Mario laughed. "Alright, I was just trying to be nice. Who knows what your kind do." He made a dramatic sigh then added, "Celebrities."

"Well I'd probably be at some kind of wild party with my teammates high on drugs and kissing everyone I could get my hands on but since I'm on a forced vacation…"

Mario let out a wholehearted laugh. "So that's why your pills won't knock you out. They are probably nowhere near as strong as the party drugs you're used to."

Thomas hummed thoughtfully. "Yeah, that must be the reason." Then let out a loud, joyous laugh. "Jesus, I hope you are not recording this conversation and planning to sell it to the press."

"Oh, damn! And here I thought I would make some extra money."

"I know you are too nice to do that."

"Oh, you know me too well already." Mario grinned, then before Thomas could reply he continued. "So back to the topic, movie starts at 9.30 pm I'll pick you up, get ready, bye!" And with that he hung up.

Thomas stared at his phone, startled by how quickly Mario got rid of him but it was probably because he had to get ready too so instead of dwelling on it too much, Thomas headed towards the bathroom to have a quick shower. Thank god his recovery was going so well he had no difficulties with that any more.

~

"Hey, handsome!" Mario flashed his biggest smile at Thomas when he opened the door.

"Hey!" Thomas smiled widely, too. "You took your time." He added.

"Well, I called you from work so…" Mario left the sentence hanging in the air, grinning sheepishly.

"In that case, you were quick." Thomas corrected with a happy grin, pulling Mario in and closing the door.

"We should get going." Mario stated as a matter of fact but didn't look like he wanted to go anywhere, not when Thomas had him trapped against the closed door.

"A minute or two won't make a big difference." Thomas reasoned, preventing Mario from a witty reply as he pressed his lips against Mario's, giving him a long, needy kiss.

Grinning into the kiss Mario wrapped his arms around Thomas, pulling him closer, their chests flat against each other. Thomas made a pleased sound, bringing his hands up to cup Mario's face, tilting his head a bit to give him a better angle and deepen the kiss.

It felt so amazing, being in Mario's warm, protective embrace while kissing passionately, pouring all their feelings and needs into just one little kiss. It was probably the best thing Thomas had ever experienced. His whole body was on fire with excitement; excitement that not even a stadium full of thousands of people screaming his name could make him feel.

Mario's grip was getting tighter and tighter by every second, like he never wanted to let go of Thomas and Thomas understood that just perfectly, because he never wanted Mario to let him go either. He just wanted to stay in Mario's arms forever, inhaling his spicy scent and drowning in his lustful kiss.

Driven by the overflowing emotions Thomas broke the kiss and blurted "God, I love you so much, you know that?" Then blushed as his eyes met Mario's startled gaze. Panic rushed over him in an instant. Maybe he shouldn't have said that, maybe it was too soon. Mario looked so surprised - shocked, even.

However, Mario's features softened almost immediately and he looked at Thomas lovingly, smiling brighter than the sun.

"I love you, too."

Thomas' blush turned a shade darker, but he was grinning like a maniac now. He leant forward to give Mario a quick peck on the lips, then freed himself from the strong arms around his body, reaching for his coat.

He coughed to hide his embarrassment then said "Let's go see that vamp movie."

Mario shook his head while chuckling happily, then followed Thomas out of the house. God, he was truly in love with this dork.


	17. Chapter Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I'M BACK! I knew it took me a LOT of time, but I'm getting back to writing and I'll try my best to finish this story. I would like to say 'thank you' to everyone for their understanding and the lovely comments which helped me and gave me courage to continues. There are still problems in my life but I realised that writing helps me deal with most of them, so it was kind of stupid to stop. Ooops. For that realisation: Better late than never. ;)
> 
> Happy belated Valentine's Day!
> 
> As always, my beta was the wonderful [bloodsugar](http://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodsugar/pseuds/bloodsugar). Love you babe! <3

Thomas was sitting on the couch, just about to press 'play' on the remote when his phone buzzed. He grinned as he read the caller's name and picked up, his tone cheerful as he greeted his boyfriend. Boyfriend. The word was now easy, coming naturally to his tongue.

"Hey, how are you babe?" Mario asked; just as cheerful as Thomas' but there was a hint of weariness in his tone.

"Fine, went to training today, as usual. You?"

"Just came home from school. Had a pretty long day." Mario sighed, sounding tired.

Thomas chuckled. "Well, you told me that smarts come with a price."

"Indeed." Mario laughed, not denying it. They talked sweet nothings for the next few minutes then Mario asked with a somehow playful tone. "So, what are your plans for the evening?"

"I know I should reply something sexy to that but honestly, I'm having a movie marathon." Thomas replied plainly though he was smiling.

Mario let out a short laugh. "Really? What are you watching?"

"Pirates of the Caribbean."

There was a long pause and Thomas was about to ask what was wrong when Mario spoke again, sounding scandalised. "And you didn't invite me?!"

"What?" Thomas asked dumbly.

"That's like my favourite movie, man." Mario clarified.

"Oh." Thomas made a surprised noise, mumbling "I didn't know." Then his face lit up as an idea popped up in his mind. "Hey, you wanna come over and have a movie marathon with me?"

"Hell yes!" Mario laughed happily. "I'm on my way. Should I bring something?"

"Nah, I've got it." Thomas smiled again, affected by Mario's eagerness and happy tone. He was glad Mario was just as dorky as he.

"Alright. Then see you in- what? Like twenty minutes."

"I'm waiting." Thomas replied and hung up before Mario could. It became a thing between them, hanging up on each other practically in the middle of a sentence instead of spending extra time with the "no, you hang up first" thing that so many lovers did. Even their phone conversation was somehow extraordinary and Thomas loved it.

He had a huge smile plastered on his face as he made his way to the kitchen, making some popcorn to spend the time until Mario arrived. He idly wondered how long they would last simply watching a movie without getting their hands on each other. Thomas bet it wouldn't take them long. Not that he had any objections.

Exactly nineteen minutes later, Mario knocked on the door and Thomas almost flew to it, opening with a happy grin. What he did not expect to find his boyfriend standing casually in the doorway, hands in his pockets while grinning like an idiot, wearing a simple black T-shirt with Jack Sparrow's face printed on it. Thomas nearly choked on his words, letting out a hearty laugh of disbelief.

"Oh god, you're crazy."

Mario straightened his form proudly. "I told you I'm a fan."

"Yeah, I can see that." Thomas said slowly, eyeing Mario from head to toe incredulously.

"Alright." Mario crossed his arms over his chest, giving Thomas a serious look. "You can tell me if you hate it. I won't be mad."

"That didn't sound very reassuring." Thomas pointed out.

"So you hate it." Mario drew the conclusion.

"I didn't say that." Thomas clarified.

"Yeah, but your thoughts are screaming pretty loud." Mario replied plainly, managing a small, lopsided smile.

"I'm not- okay, I'm just surprised, it's not like I hate it or anything I just didn't expect- argh-" Thomas had got enough of his stupid stammering and instead grabbed Mario by his T-shirt and pulled him inside, smashing their lips together.

Mario was taken by surprise for a few seconds but then smirked against Thomas' lips, kissing back a bit before pulling back, just enough to whisper.

"Are you trying to distract me?"

Thomas rested his forehead against Mario's, their lips touching slightly. He grinned. "I don't know, maybe? Is it working?"

"Yeah." Mario nodded, nibbling at Thomas' bottom lip. Thomas – though he would never admit it – giggled and then pressed their lips together once again for a more passionate kiss, his arms wrapped around Mario's waist loosely.

Thomas had no idea how long they had been kissing, one or five or ten minutes – it was long and nowhere near enough at the same time. Eventually he broke apart, knowing that they wouldn't make it to the end of the first movie if they kept this up, hell, they would never even get to start it and as much as Thomas loved kissing Mario, he also wanted to have a movie marathon with him, cuddling up on the couch while eating popcorn.

Mario smiled at Thomas, lips slightly bruised from their make-out session. "Let's watch the movie…?"

Thomas smiled back. "Yeah." He nodded, reluctantly freeing himself from Mario's embrace. "Make yourself home, I'll bring the snacks."

"Sounds great."

~

"I wish I could travel across the ocean once on a ship like the Black Pearl." Mario said simply, reaching for more popcorn.

Thomas, who was leaning against Mario's shoulder, tilted his head to look at his boyfriend, frowning. "I don't think travel agencies have an offer like that. And think about the hygiene."

"I know. But still, it would be an adventure." Mario glanced at Thomas, smiling.

"Yeah, I'm sure of it." Thomas agreed; his tone free of any kind of sarcasm. "We could still go on a cruise." He said as a second thought, then stilled, realizing he was unconsciously planning a holiday with Mario and even though they over with the 'I love you' thing, Thomas still had insecurities about Mario's feelings. Not that he had any reason to doubt him.

Mario moved to look into Thomas' eyes and Thomas had to sit up, smiling sheepishly, his cheeks flushed. "I mean, you. Or we, if you want to. Or not. I don't know why I-" He stuttered awkwardly, earning a meaningful look from Mario before the older let out a happy laugh.

"You are cute when you are embarrassed." He pointed out, pinching Thomas' cheek playfully.

Thomas stared.

"I'd love to go on a holiday with you, if that was what you were implying." Mario smiled as he acted a bit more mature this time, moving closer to Thomas.

"I wasn't trying to imply anything." Thomas claimed.

"Oh yes? You were totally doing it."

"I was not." Thomas stated stubbornly but couldn't help the playful glint in his sky blue eyes as Mario moved so close their lips were almost touching.

"You mean you don't want to go on a cruise with me?"

"I didn't say that." Thomas grinned, giving Mario a small peck on his lips.

"So are we going?" Mario asked, his face lighting up like it was Christmas and he was a child.

Thomas hesitated, his reasonable side trying to talk some sense into his mind which was clouded with pink fog and hearts. What about the public? The press? His career? Thomas considered those quickly and came to a conclusion that everything can go fuck itself because he would absolutely go to vacation with Mario, at whatever cost.

"Hell yes." Thomas nodded with a wide smile and that was all Mario needed to tackle him down the couch and kiss him breathless and so the movie was soon forgotten in favour of more kissing and touching.

~

It was a rare occasion, waking up in the middle of the day to the brightly shining sun instead of the annoying sound of the alarm. Thomas only had training in the late afternoon that day for which they were both thankful, given they had spent almost the whole night making out.

Mario opened his eyes slowly, smiling as his gaze met Thomas' sleepy one. Instead of saying something, he just leant forward and placed a quick, soft kiss on Thomas' lips. Thomas hummed appreciatively, snuggling closer to Mario, his smile never disappearing. They kept looking at each other fondly for several minutes before Mario broke into a huge grin, which didn't promise anything good. Thomas frowned, waiting for his boyfriend to voice whatever crazy thought had popped up in his mind.

"Hey, if we go on a cruise ship, can I dress up as Jack Sparrow?"

Thomas groaned and rolled his eyes. "Don't get carried away."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it was pretty short, the next one hopefully will be longer. I can't promise I'll update soon but I definitely will. It might take a few weeks.
> 
> Until then, leave me comments, I really need them! *puppy eyes*
> 
> Love you all! You are the best! <3


	18. Chapter Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is unbeta-ed, my beta is busy but I wanted to upload as soon as possible, so any mistake you find is my fault. Sorry! (I will re-upload it when betaing is done)
> 
> Hope you will like it anyway!
> 
> Oh, and just so you know, smut is coming! *winks*

"So, how do you feel about the zoo?" Despite Thomas' obviously cheerful state, Mario could only groan annoyed. It was half past eleven in the morning but he had spent the previous four nights studying for exams and he also had worked, so when he had finally got to bed at 4 am in the morning, he was determined to sleep through the whole day. But no, Thomas – who was an early bird - apparently made it his life goal to wake Mario up at every chance he got. No matter how he apologized, Mario was sure he was doing it on purpose.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" Thomas asked, but sounded more amused than sorry. Mario rolled his eyes, but couldn't help a small smile appearing on his lips.

"Yes, dammit."

"Seriously, you sleep in too much, it's not normal."

"It is, when you've been up for almost thirty-eight hours straight." Mario claimed.

Thomas gaped. "Thirty-eight? That is fucking unhealthy."

"I fucking know it, that's why I was sleeping."

"Whatever." At Thomas last, not-so-sympathetic comment, Mario burst out laughing. And so did Thomas. They loved these kinds of fights; these weren't even real fights, just fuming half-jokingly. "So," Thomas continued. "How do you feel about going to the zoo?"

"Right now? Not a chance."

"Of course not right now, I have training."

"Isn't it like… really public?" Mario asked, frowning.

"Yeah, but I want to go anyway." Thomas shrugged on the other end of the line.

"You said you don't want to have, how did you put it? 'A pack of paparazzi breathing down our necks'?"

"I know what I said." Thomas stated. "I've changed my mind. I want to go there. With you. We just have to be careful. Can't two friends go to see some giraffes and lions?" Thomas knew it would be risky, but honestly, he was getting tired of hiding when all he wanted to do was to scream at the world how much he loved Mario. However, he knew that would be terribly dumb so he had to stick with going to a few public places and act like friends. That couldn't hurt, could it?

Mario was considering the suggestion. He wanted to go, he really did, but he also had to think about Thomas' public image. And let's be real, he was the more responsible one in their relationship. He understood that holding hands and having romantic dinners at various, classy restaurants were off the table but going out and acting like two friends having fun should be okay. "If you think it's fine and you really want to go, then fine." He said at last, much to Thomas' delight.

"Really? Great!" Thomas punched the air happily, grinning like an idiot.

"When?"

"How about Wednesday? It's more crowded at the weekend."

After a bit of hesitation, Mario replied. "I will sort it out."

"If it's not okay for you, we can go-" Thomas started, but Mario cut him off.

"Thomas, I'm a student at a medical university and work in a hospital, so day-offs are rare. I'll make time for it, don't worry."

"But if you-"

"Thomas." Mario's voice was soft and somehow firm enough to make Thomas close his mouth. Mario smiled. "Don't overthink it, okay?"

"Okay." Thomas smiled, too.

"Putting aside Wednesday, how about I pick you up after training and go watch a movie at your place?"

"Sounds great. Will you bring Chinese food?" Thomas asked with a grin.

Mario let out a short laugh. "Seriously, will you ever get bored of Chinese food?"

"I don't think so."

"I'm starting to hate it."

"Excellent, then I can eat your share, too."

Mario hung up.

~

"Wow, someone is having fun tonight?" Mats asked teasingly as he opened his locker, which was beside Thomas'.

Thomas gave him a funny look. "What do you mean?"

"You have a cheerful vibe. You didn't stop smiling during training although it was pretty tough and tiring." Mats answered simply while he was putting his clothes on.

"Well, of course, I'm so happy to be here." Thomas half-lied, trying to appear really busy arranging his shoes and socks.

Mats snorted, leant against his locker and gave Thomas a meaningful look. "Yeah, sure…"

"I am." Thomas insisted.

"I don't doubt that but I can feel there is something more to it. I think everyone who isn't blind can see it." Mats pointed out with a lopsided grin.

A sudden wave of shock went through Thomas and could only stutter, not knowing what or how he should reply. "I- I'm just-"

"It's okay, I won't pry in your private life. But whatever it is, keep it up, 'cause we really need you at your best." He winked then turned away to put on his sweater and then left, leaving Thomas alone with his thoughts.

He knew Mats was simply trying to be nice, but the thing he had said set the alarm off in Thomas' mind. Everyone could see how happy he was but knew it wasn't only about football? Maybe he was being too obvious. He should really be more careful, if his friends and teammates could read him this well, it was only a matter of time for the press.

Thomas' train of troubling thoughts was interrupted by Mario's text message, telling him he was outside. Thomas immediately forgot his worries as he dressed up in a hurry and then left, eager to see Mario again.

"Please, tell me you've brought food. I'm starving." Thomas said as he hopped into the passenger's seat.

"I missed you, too." Mario replied sarcastically.

Thomas sent him a cheeky grin. "I'll let you know how much I missed you when we get home."

Mario suppressed a moan then shook his head in amusement. "You need to refrain from making comments like that."

"Why?" Thomas pushed on, obviously pleased.

"You know damn well why." Mario sent him a meaningful glare then started the engine.

Thomas sank into the seat, grinning in satisfaction but knew better than to continue speaking. They would end up making out if not having sex in the backseat and not that Thomas would mind it, but there was way too much light coming from the streetlamps for that.

To distract himself from the vivid images popping up in his mind, he reached back, grabbed a box of spring rolls and ate them in silence for the rest of the ride.

They made their way to Thomas' front door, looking as casual as possible. Mario dropped the boxes of food to the small table in the hall while Thomas closed the door but once they were in, there was no need to behave.

As soon as the door was closed, Mario pushed Thomas against it and wrapped his arms around his waist.

"So, how much did you miss me?" He started teasingly, his lips barely touching Thomas' but enough to make him tremble in excitement. Originally, Thomas wanted to play a bit, but Mario was too sexy and hot and just simply irresistible and all Thomas wanted to do was to kiss him breathless. So he did.

Mario was taken aback by pleasant surprise for a few seconds but then tightened his hold around Thomas and kissed back hungrily, his hands sliding under Thomas' shirt to caress the small of his back. Thomas grunted in approval and wrapped his arms around Mario's neck to pull him closer and deepen the kiss.

Thomas liked kissing Mario but he wanted more than just kissing so after a few seconds he moved his hands down Mario's torso, grabbed the hem of his grey T-shirt and pulled it over Mario's head, breaking the kiss. Mario grinned and freed Thomas of his T-shirt too, before resuming kissing.

They both let out a satisfied gasp into each other's mouth as their naked chests met; the feeling familiar and comforting. Mario placed his hands on Thomas' hipbones, causing him to shiver in excitement and roll his hips impatiently. Mario couldn't help an amused smirk against Thomas' lips. However, he couldn't keep smirking for long as Thomas started working on his fly, pushing Mario's jeans down and grabbing his manhood through the boxers.

A loud moan escaped Mario and Thomas pulled back and started kissing along Mario's jawline then moving to his neck, biting and sucking the skin playfully while pleasuring him with his hand. Mario gripped Thomas' hair with one hand, encouraging him to continue while he used his other hand to lean against the wall for support. His knees felt weak, he was afraid of collapsing from pure bliss.

Thomas enjoyed taking the lead and the noises Mario made turned him the hell on but he also wanted to take their sexual life to the next level so he soon pulled back and looked into Mario's lust-filled eyes.

"I want to have sex with you." He stated, surprised by his boldness. However, the words didn't feel weird and Mario reacted with a teasing, playful grin.

"I thought that's what we are doing." He said; his voice hoarse.

"No, I meant I want you inside me." Thomas clarified, pressing their foreheads together, but then rolled his eyes as he saw Mario hesitating. He added in an annoyed tone, "if you ask me whether I'm sure or not I swear to god-"

He was silenced by Mario's lips kissing him rough and needy and even though it lasted only for a few seconds it left Thomas breathless. Mario looked serious and utterly naughty at the same time. Damn, he knew how to push Thomas' buttons.

"Bedroom. Now." He declared while he kicked his jeans off then grabbed Thomas by his arm and pulled him towards the bedroom.

Thomas followed him absentmindedly, only waking up from his daze when Mario pushed him down the bed and climbed over him.

"If anything hurts, you will tell me." It was an order more than a question.

Thomas nodded, smiling reassuringly. "Promise." He knew that arguing wouldn't get him anywhere and beside that, he didn't want it to hurt either.

Mario smiled back and gave him a quick kiss then trailed his mouth down Thomas' body all the way to the hem of his jeans. Thomas' breath was coming out in short pants as he was watching Mario. He undressed Thomas swiftly and skilfully, freeing his hard manhood from the boxers. He pushed Thomas' legs apart and Thomas instinctively tensed a bit at that. Mario looked him in the eye and whispered.

"Relax, I won't hurt you."

Thomas nodded and tried to do as Mario had told but it was hard. He still wanted it badly but he was also nervous and these mixed feelings didn't do him anything good. So he let his head fell back onto the soft pillow, closed his eyes and let his senses take over control. He trusted Mario with all his heart and when he wrapped his lips around Thomas' cock, all thoughts left Thomas immediately, only leaving white, hot pleasure.

Mario was determined to make everything perfect for Thomas so he took his time to suck him, earning lustful moans and cries from the younger. It was Thomas who stopped him, grabbing a fistful of Mario's hair and pulling him back not too gently.

"Wait!" His voice was a pitch higher than he had intended and he blushed. "I don't want it to end too soon." He mumbled and Mario could see his pink cheeks even in the dimly lit room. He couldn't help but smile fondly at Thomas.

"Me neither." He grinned, relieved to see Thomas grin back. "Do you have lube?"

"Top drawer." Thomas gestured towards the bedside table.

Mario reached for it and grabbed a bottle of lube along with a condom then moved back to sit between Thomas legs. He put the condom on then coated his fingers in lube generously, putting the bottle aside.

He pushed one finger inside Thomas who groaned in pleasure – fingering wasn't a new thing to him, but Mario wanted to make sure he won't hurt Thomas. Soon he added a second and then the third, moving his fingers back and forth, earning little moans and whimpers from Thomas who was tossing on the bed. It was a sight to behold. Thomas, all naked and glorious, writhing in sheer lust under Mario, waiting to be taken.

When Mario thought Thomas was ready, he removed his fingers and pushed Thomas' legs a bit wider apart then grabbed his hips and positioned himself.

He looked at Thomas for approval and he nodded, though his eyes were closed. Mario tightened his grip and pushed in, slowly but steadily.

"Oh, fuck!" Thomas whined and grabbed the sheets hard, his knuckles turning white.

"Relax, babe." Mario said in a husky tone. He needed all his willpower not to slam into Thomas all at once, the hotness surrounding his manhood driving him crazy with need. He was really close to lose control.

When Mario was fully inside he leant forward to give Thomas a slow, passionate kiss. Thomas kissed back, wrapping his arms around Mario's neck.

"You are the best." Mario mumbled against his lips, his breath hot on Thomas' face. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too." Thomas replied, smiling.

"Are you ready?"

"Yeah, just… be gentle, okay?"

"I'm not gonna fuck you into the mattress if that's what you're afraid of." Mario said because he just could not resist the teasing and well, he wasn't exactly moderate in bed. Apparently it was totally worth it, because he felt Thomas squirm under him in anticipation. "Or do you want me to?"

"Just shut up." Thomas slapped his shoulder playfully and grinned.

"Maybe next time." Mario added and before Thomas could reply he rolled his hips. Thomas shut his eyes again but moaned in more pleasure than pain and Mario took it as a sign to continue, slowly building up a steady rhythm.

"I bet you would love it, huh?" He continued with the dirty talk because he knew Thomas was into it from both past and present experience.

"You have no idea." Thomas smirked, adjusting his movements to Mario's pace.

"What would you want me to do, tell me." Mario demanded, pushing a bit deeper, searching for a certain spot.

"I want you to fuck me on my knees next time." Thomas replied shamelessly and Mario's breath got caught in his throat. Damn, if Thomas kept it up he wouldn't last long, the mental image already pushing him dangerously close to the edge. However, there was no way he would stop now.

"I will. I'd make you come so hard you forget your name."

Thomas' fingers dig into Mario's shoulder blades as Mario thrust deep into him. The feeling was getting better and better by every second and Thomas was drunk on that feeling, wanting more and more of Mario.

"You could do that now. Won't be hard." Thomas chuckled embarrassed.

"Nah, let's save some fun for next time." Mario grinned, his eyes gleaming in mischief and he grabbed Thomas' wrists and pinned him down, giving him a long, passionate kiss as he continued to thrust back and forth, their hips moving in shallow sync.

With one well-aimed thrust, Mario hit the spot he had been searching for and Thomas – well, not screamed, because he didn't scream, but made a sound close to that, breaking the kiss.

"Oh, god, do that again."

And Mario did. He let go of Thomas' hand in favour to grip his hipbones and aimed for that spot again and again, pushing Thomas' legs apart even more while holding him in place. Thomas' hands found their way back to Mario's shoulders and was holding onto him for dear life, his mind cloudy from desire, his vision going white.

"Please, Mario, fuck, I'm so close, please." He had no idea what he was begging for but he didn't care. Mario was more than happy to oblige and picked up the pace, his own erection also painfully hard.

The view was just too much for him, Thomas naked and hot, throwing his head from side to side under him in pleasure and begging Mario to fuck him.

Mario came with a manly moan, leaning forward to catch Thomas' lips for a sloppy kiss, all teeth and tongue. Feeling the hotness inside him, Thomas came, too, groaning into Mario's mouth, his nails digging into Mario's skin as he came between their bodies, his erection untouched.

They stayed like that for a while, panting for air as they were coming down from their highs. Eventually, Mario pulled out, took the condom off and got up to throw it out then climbed onto the bed and lied beside Thomas, smiling at him lovingly.

"That was fucking great." Thomas stated, turning his head to grin at Mario.

"I love how moderate you are." Mario teased, giving him a quick kiss.

"Me too." Thomas laughed.

"You are an idiot." Mario shook his head incredulously but he was grinning, too. He held Thomas' gaze for a while then sat up and grabbed Thomas' hands. "C'mon, let's take a shower."

"No way, I want to sleep."

"You've got semen all over you." Mario pointed out plainly. Thomas only shrugged. "Get up, you lazy." Mario giggled as he pulled Thomas up and practically dragged him into the bathroom.

After a few minutes under the shower, Thomas woke up from the soothing afterglow and pulled Mario down for a slow, passionate kiss, their naked bodies pressing together. Mario grunted against Thomas' lips and wrapped his arms around Thomas, his hands roaming his back.

"Someone is lively." Mario smirked against Thomas' lips when they broke apart for air.

"It's your fault." Thomas glared, tracing nonfigurative lines downwards on Mario's torso, his eyes gleaming in mischief. "I wanted to sleep."

"If that's what I get for not letting you, then brace yourself, because you ain't getting much sleep from now on." Mario teased, his hand sliding across Thomas' belly then down to grab his half-hard erection and stroke it slowly.

"Who's the- ngh – idiot now?" It was hard for Thomas to speak; Mario's hand was way too distracting.

Mario just chuckled and silenced Thomas with another kiss, this one more urgent and demanding than the previous one. Thomas moved his hand between their bodies and took hold of Mario's manhood then started to move his fist up and down, his free hand resting on Mario's nape.

The hot water made the air steamy and breathing difficult but neither of them cared as their minds were driven by maddening pleasure. Their kiss was sloppy, broken from time to time as they moaned or whimpered in need, the water making their bodies slippery.

It didn't take them long to reach their orgasms, coming into each other's hand while their groans were swallowed by the other. They just stood there for a long time, panting for air while their foreheads were being pressed together, looking at each other and grinning in satisfaction.

"Damn, you have no idea how much I love you." Mario broke the silence at last, his words causing Thomas to blush slightly.

"I'm glad you are my first." He knew he sounded awfully cliché but he really wanted to say it, wanted Mario to know how much he mattered to him.

Mario only smiled, affected by the honest words, and then brushed Thomas' hair off his forehead. "Me too." He hugged Thomas tightly, whispering "I love you."

Thomas buried his face into Mario's shoulder, feeling safe and comfortable, smiling stupidly at Mario's words. "I love you, too."


	19. Chapter Eighteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another unbeta-ed chapter, so blame any mistakes on me. My beta is still busy, but I didn't want to make you wait any more.
> 
> Umm, and just to give you all a fair warning, I'm dropping a bomb here.

Everything was too perfect to be true, Thomas should have known that, or at least, should have expected something to happen. But he didn't and when he got a call from him manager, Emma, who said they needed to talk immediately, Thomas froze in shock. That usually didn't mean anything good.

It was early in the morning and Mario had just come out from the shower, his eyebrows furrowed as he watched Thomas talking on the phone.

"I'll go to your office in the afternoon." Thomas said, looking confused.

"No, we need to talk right now. I'm coming over." Emma stated firmly.

"What's so important that can't wait until afternoon?" Thomas asked, now his voice more annoyed.

"We need to discuss these rumours about you, Thomas." Her tone was dead serious, which wasn't unusual but there was something in her tone that worried Thomas.

"What rumours?"

"We should talk in person for-"

"No, tell me, what is it?" Thomas demanded, cutting her off rudely in mid-sentence.

Emma lost her temper and technically hissed the words. "You being gay."

The blood drained from Thomas' head. He felt dizzy and had to lean against the wall for support, afraid of collapsing. Mario was by his side in an instant, mouthing a worried "are you okay?" Thomas waved him off, trying to steady himself.

It was no use to deny it; his silence had already betrayed him.

"You've got to be joking!" Emma shouted on the other end of the line and Thomas had to keep his phone at arm's length from his ear if he didn't want to be deaf. "And you didn't feel like sharing that little bit of information with me when we signed the fucking contract?! How dumb can you be, really?"

"Look, I didn't know it, okay?"

"Didn't know what? That you preferred guys? C'mon, you need a better excuse than that!"

"I swear to god, I didn't. I like girls, too. It's just happens to be a guy whom I'm dating right now." Thomas confessed but it was only fuel to the fire.

"You are DATING?! When did you want to tell me that?"

"You didn't need to know!" Thomas raised his voice, his emotions running high.

"I'm your fucking manager, I need to know everything! Whatever, I'm coming over right now and you better be at home!" It was practically a threat. Before Thomas could reply, she hung up. Thomas wasn't sure she hadn't smashed her phone against the ground.

Thomas sank to his knees, sighing. Mario came back to him, fully dressed, he had figured out from the conversation that he should leave sooner rather than later. He didn't know what exactly it was about but he knew from one look at Thomas that it was something very serious. And he had also heard Thomas admitting their relationships, so that didn't promise anything good either.

"Are you okay?" He asked, pulling Thomas into a tight hug.

Thomas buried his face into his shoulder and shook his head. He wrapped his arms around Mario's firm body and inhaled deeply, trying to keep himself together and failing. His body started shaking as he was sobbing against Mario's shirt.

Mario caressed his back softly, whispering sweet nothings to calm him down and eventually it was effective, because Thomas stopped crying and pulled back a bit, hiccupping as he was trying to talk.

"No, apparently there- there are… rumours… of me… dating you." As Thomas got to the end of his sentence, tears were trailing down his cheeks again.

Mario gaped in shock. "Wha-what? But how? We've been so careful…"

Thomas nodded, reaching for a tissue to blow his nose.

"That's why your manager called, right? To speak about it?" Mario asked carefully.

Thomas nodded.

"You should trust her. It's her job to take care of it, right? She will figure something out." Mario tried to be positive, but deep in his heart he knew that would be kind of impossible. However, he had to keep up his nonchalant appearance, too afraid of Thomas breaking down even more than he already was.

"I don't- don't know how."

"That's up to her. Don't worry, she is very good at her job, that's why you signed her, didn't you?" Mario forced a smile and took Thomas' hands, pulling him up. "Let's go and wash your face, okay?" He wiped the dry tears from Thomas's cheeks then gave him a soft kiss on his temple. "Get yourself together and hear her out, I'm sure she already has a few ideas."

Thomas nodded, because he didn't trust his voice. He kept silent up until Mario announced he should leave.

"Stay." Thomas said; his voice a little hoarse from crying.

Mario smiled – this time genuinely – and cupped Thomas' face between his hands. "I don't think that's a good idea. Speak with her in private, then call me later, okay?"

Thomas reluctantly agreed.

~

"You better start telling the whole story right now." Emma demanded and crossed her arms over her chest, staring at Thomas seriously, her gaze piercing.

For a fleeting second, Thomas considered making a witty comment about how she had barged into his home without even a 'hello' but decided against it. He wasn't sure he would survive, judging from how furious Emma was. Which was pretty understandable, of course, but didn't help Thomas much.

So he had no choice, but tell Emma everything honestly and he did. Starting from the day he met Mario at the hospital and his silly suicide attempt and how Mario's presence always helped him forget his worries and their first kiss and their little dates and that how much they loved each other. He fully expected Emma to cut him off at times but she kept silent through the whole time, her fury erasing but then her expression turned into unreadable which could be for better or for worse. Thomas had no idea which one.

When he was finished, she didn't say a thing for a painfully long time – or was it only for minutes? Thomas couldn't be sure. Eventually she spoke but then Thomas wished she wouldn't have. "I have only one question for you. What do you want?"

"What do you mean?" He asked carefully, suddenly too aware of where this all was heading and not liking it the slightest.

"You do realize you can't have both. I personally have no problem with your sexuality but in your profession… you know it won't work. So I'm asking you, which one is more important to you. Your career or your boyfriend?" She asked; her voice soft and quite but still her words echoed in the air like the ringing of church bells. She asked the question that Thomas had managed to ignore in his head for so long.

"You- you want me to choose between my career and my happiness?" Thomas stuttered at last, bewildered.

"Yes, exactly." She replied without blinking.

"I- I can't." He shook his head, staring at his hands in his lap. "No, Emma, please, you can't ask me that, I can't… I don't want to choose."

"Please stop being so naïve." She sighed and Thomas hated her at that moment because she was right.

"How can I choose between my life and my happiness?" Thomas asked weakly, his eyes burning of withholding his tears.

"Thomas, I'm sure you understand it's just the matter of time someone finding out. One little slip, one wrong glance, and everything we have worked for so far would collapse in seconds, like a house of cards."

"But, we won't slip. I promise, we will be very careful and-"

"There are already rumours, Thomas!" She cut him off harshly. "You can't play this game too long. So you must choose, give up your career or give up your boyfriend. And if you ask, I think you should focus on the first because there will be plenty of-"

"Don't!" Thomas hissed. He didn't want to hear the rest. He didn't want to even hear of losing Mario nor giving up on him.

"Fine. So what's your plan, genius?"

"I don't know." Thomas sighed, burying his face into his palms and groaning. He stayed like that for a while, trying hard to control his emotions and not let the reality of this sink in. "You, you must have some kind of solution. Please, help me." He looked at Emma pleadingly.

Emma sighed. "I have only one, and you're not gonna like it."

"What is it?" Thomas demanded.

"Get yourself a girlfriend." She said simply.

"Absolutely not."

"Fine, then ruin your career." She shrugged though her eyes were burning dangerously.

"I don't want to ruin my career but I won't break up with Mario and I'm definitely not getting a fake girlfriend." Thomas stated stubbornly though deep in his heart he knew what he was asking for was impossible. It was so unfair. Why couldn't he have it? He wasn't asking for much, was he?

"Very well then, follow your great idea and see how far you get with it!" She raised her voice, annoyance clear both in her tone and on her face. "Don't you realize how big is this?! You must choose, and the sooner the better, because I can't handle the press for long if you keep this up!"

"It's your job to handle the press!" Thomas argued and as soon as the words were out he regretted it. Something flashed in her eyes, something of a mixture of anger, annoyance and disappointment. She got to her feet, grabbed her bag, stating "you've got two days to decided" and with that she marched out of Thomas' home.

Thomas let his forehead fell on the table, waiting for the tears to come but they didn't. He felt surprisingly empty, his mind blank. Blissful ignorance. He wished he could stay like that forever and his problems would eventually disappear. How silly of him, thinking he could have everything.

For the first time in a long, he didn't feel like calling Mario.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me. *hides in the corner*


	20. Chapter Nineteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to give everyone a fair warning, the bomb explodes in this chapter.
> 
> If anyone is interested, I've been listening to the following songs while writing this chapter:
> 
> [Stay](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2t5JbPU1Vy4) by Hurts
> 
> [Streets of love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bp_3244YP-E) by Rolling Stones
> 
> Welcome aboard the Angst Ship!

Sam was lying on the couch, reading a book about some kind of silly romance when she heard the key turning in the lock. Her face immediately brightened as the door opened but then just as quickly fell. It took her only one look at Mario to know something was wrong.

"Hey!" She called, trying to sound cheerful anyway.

"Hello!" Mario sighed, dropping his keys onto the table.

"Is everything alright?" She asked cautiously, eying Mario who was avoiding her gaze.

"Yeah, sure… well, no, but… just let me be, okay?" Mario stuttered, his tone pleading.

She blinked surprised but replied "sure. If you wanna talk, I'll be here." She offered sympathetically but Mario was already at his door, closing it softly.

He didn't think he would like to talk any time soon.

He leant against the door and took a few deep breaths before slumping to the floor and staring at his feet mindlessly. He didn't want to think and apparently even if he had wanted to, he couldn't. A strange emptiness filled him as he remembered Thomas' phone conversation. He was sure his manager was giving Thomas hell at the moment and he hated not to be by his side. However, his selfish part was grateful, because he had no idea how long he could keep himself together. He did well around Thomas but after he left, there was no stopping to the gloomy thoughts.

Really, he was a fool for fall for someone like him and believe even for a second that they were meant to be, that they could be together without much hardship. He hated how unfair life was. If two people loved each other, they should be together, shouldn't they? Easy as that. Sadly, life wasn't working that way.

He groaned against his palms at his own childish thinking. 'It's not a fucking fairy tale, few people get a happy ending and you are not one of them.' He told himself, hanging his head in sadness while hugging his knees to comfort himself.

He was so stupid to think it could work.

Worst of all, Mario had never felt this toward anyone before. Sure, he had a few relationships but they were nothing compared to this. He knew Thomas was special and that he was absolutely worth any hardships but he doubted Thomas felt the same way. Mario didn't question Thomas' feelings for him but he was pretty sure Thomas wouldn't give up his life for him. And Mario could perfectly understand that and would never ask him to do so. Slowly, his mind started to clear and he could see the solution to this problem. It was awful and heart-breaking and Mario already hated himself for even thinking about it, let alone considering it.

He had no idea how long he was sitting there, minutes or hours, but eventually he got himself together and got to his feet, intending to take a shower and hoping that would help at least a little bit.

While the hot water was splashing against his skin he let his thoughts run free, trying to come up with an acceptable solution. He wanted to be with Thomas, he truly loved him and would never want to part with him if it was his call. But honestly, it wasn't and it never would be and he knew just how important football was for Thomas. Surely, he can't ask him to give up his life, not that he would ever do that. He loved him too much for that. Thomas had his own life and Mario just walked into it and messed everything up. He never intended to, but he did and now here he was, facing such a horrible problem.

He was scared and a tiny part of him wanted Thomas to choose him but it was ridiculous and he would never want Thomas to do that. He knew Thomas wouldn't be capable of deciding something like that. He would probably choose Mario but then the pressure would be too much on him and that could ruin everything. What if their relationship was only a fleeting thing? What if they kept going and would break up in a year, or in two, or maybe in ten? You can't ask someone to give their lives up for you. Mario could never look into the mirror again.

Deep in his heart he already knew what he had to do and he was simply reluctant to do it. He might broke, and so could Thomas, but later he would understand and it would be better. Yes, he had to do that.

It was about nine in the evening when Thomas finally gathered his courage and called Mario who answered after a few rings.

"Hey," Thomas sounded uncharacteristically drained. "I know it's late but… can you come over? Please."

Mario gulped thickly, the tone Thomas was using was breaking his heart. He sounded so… distant. He replied a bit hoarsely. "Yes, of course."

"Thanks." Thomas smiled. "And Mario."

"Yes?"

"You know that I love you, right?"

Mario tensed at that part, feeling sick all of a sudden but managed a weak "Yeah, I know." He didn't add the 'love you, too' part on purpose and hung up before Thomas could comment on it. There was absolutely no need to make things harder than they already were.

He could guess why Thomas wanted to speak with him in person and what he was going to say and Mario needed all his will to carry out his bitter plan.

Thomas was in a really bad shape, Mario could tell as soon as he opened the door. He looked exhausted and sad and broken. It pained Mario to see him like that and he could almost not bear the thought that he was about to add to Thomas' misery. However, he knew he had to. It was necessary. It was for the best.

"Hello." Thomas said weakly and Mario replied in kind.

"Hi."

Thomas managed a weak smile and before Mario could say or do anything besides closing the door, Thomas was throwing himself at him, hugging him so tight it almost hurt. He could feel Thomas relaxing when he wrapped his arms around him and he made sure to cherish the moment because it surely was their last. They stayed like that for several minutes, Thomas clinging onto Mario and Mario burying his face into the crook of Thomas' neck, inhaling his spicy cologne.

"So… erm, Emma was pretty mad." Thomas mumbled, still holding Mario.

"I'm sure she was." Mario nodded then peeled Thomas' arms off at last. He was a bit reluctant, but allowed it anyway.

They went to sit at the table and there was a few minutes of silence which wasn't exactly awkward, but very close to it. Mario was staring at his feet and Thomas was occupied tapping his fingers on his thighs nervously.

"She gave me kind of an ultimatum." Thomas said at last, finally meeting Mario's gaze. "To decide which one I want. You or my career." He looked impossibly lost. "But I don't want to choose." He added with a flash of determination in his eyes.

"Well, it's not like I didn't expect it." Mario commented lamely, because seriously, what was he supposed to reply?

"She can't ask me that." Thomas stated.

"Maybe she can't, but she is right." Mario had a hard time not to reach for Thomas' hands. "Honestly, I knew somewhere deep that this day would come. And I came here to tell you that-"

"No!" Thomas cut him off angrily. "No, no, I know what you want to say. That you will step down to let me follow my dreams." He grimaced sadly as Mario must have looked obvious. "You can't do that to me."

"I won't have you giving up your dreams because of me, I will not be responsible for that." Mario stated firmly.

"You don't have to be responsible for the decisions I make." Thomas claimed.

"Thomas, please, don't make this any harder. You know it's the only way."

"No, it's not. I'd rather give up the stupid football than lose you."

"I won't let that happen. You can't give it up just for a guy."

"You are not just a guy!" Thomas insisted and Mario had never seen him so angry and adamant about something before. Why did Thomas have to make everything ten times harder?

"Well, you don't know that. None of us do. What if we break up in half a year?"

"We won't." Thomas stated firmly.

"You can't know that!" Mario snapped. "Please, be reasonable. It was really great but now it's over. You have your life and I have mine and we can't keep doing this."

"Do I mean nothing to you?" Thomas asked, hurt and serious, and Mario's words got caught up in his throat. How could he ask that? Couldn't he see he was doing all this because he cared too much for him?

"Please, Thomas, don't make this worse." Mario pleaded.

"So you'd rather run away, right?" Thomas asked mockingly, crossing his arms over his chest.

"It's not running away, it's called thinking with a clear head." Mario retorted.

"Well, excuse me, my head is not clear because I fucking love you!" Thomas shouted, the words taking Mario by surprise and he knew he would hate himself for the rest of his life for his next words. He knew that Thomas would also hate him, but maybe it was for the better.

"Let's be real, you and I, we were never meant to be." He said as coldly as he could manage and the shock and hurt was so visible in Thomas' eyes, he knew he couldn't keep this up much longer. So he stood up and walked away. Thomas didn't stop him.

~

This had to be a nightmare. Everything was so unreal, Thomas desperately wanted to believe it was all a bad dream and he would wake up and tell Mario about it and Mario would hug him and kiss his worries away, the warmth of his body making Thomas forget all the bad things that had ever happened to him.

Unfortunately, Thomas knew deep in his heart that it was the cruel reality. Mario had left him. He walked out of that door as if Thomas had meant nothing to him, as if their relationship was simply a fleeting, silly romance.

Thomas wasn't a fool, he knew this day would come but never dared to picture it. Now he wished. At least then he would have been a little bit prepared. Or maybe not. Who can tell?

True, the choice was hard and no one should ever have to make that kind of decision but Thomas knew that his career wasn't exactly an easy one and that the press was very interested in every footballer's private life, especially since they won the World Cup and became known worldwide.

However, as stupid and reckless as it would be, Thomas seriously considered giving all that up just because of Mario. Okay, not only because of him. He wanted it. He wanted to be with him and for that he had to accept who he was and had to make everyone accept who he was. First of all, he called his parents to meet them next day. He planned to come out and tell them everything but now he had to reconsider that.

It took the tears several minutes to appear but once they did, there was no stopping to them. Thomas buried his face into his palms and cried. Cried because of Mario's harsh words, cried because of the possibility of losing his career, cried because of not being able to have both football and Mario and he cried because he was so miserable and helpless and he hated himself so much for it.

He grieved the ordinary life he would never get the chance to have.

~

Mario drove away as far as he could before he let his tears run free. He had no idea where he had parked, he could have been in a parking lot, on the side road or in the middle of a fucking playground; he didn't give a damn. He hit the steering wheel repeatedly while swearing and shouting and making inarticulate sounds.

He fucked up. He knew he fucked up big time and there was no going back and he was sure that Thomas' face upon his last words would haunt him forever. And he would deserve it.

Yes, maybe it was a logical decision to make at the moment but he didn't have that much time to think and he didn't care about logic because he really loved Thomas. He wanted him to be happy.

He stopped his outburst and sighed wearily, now hugging the steering wheel and resting his forehead against it while trying to even his breathing. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale.

He was doing it for Thomas' happiness, not for his own. Of course, now Thomas felt heartbroken but it will pass and one day he would understand Mario's intentions even if still broke Mario's own heart. He didn't want to let go of Thomas. God, he truly didn't. But that was what frightened him. It was selfish. He desperately wanted to cling to him, begging him to give up the goddamn football and he was immeasurably afraid of Thomas not choosing him. However, he also knew Thomas shouldn't choose him because when did it ever end well when someone give up their life for a loved one?

Yes, Thomas would understand and Mario just had to live with his decision and his broken heart for the rest of his life.

Didn't sound very promising, did it?

But if it meant Thomas would be happy, then Mario was willing to take the blame and suffer. It was worth it. Thomas was worth it.

Before he thought that 'if you love him, you let him go' was stupid and dumb and weak people said that to make themselves feel better. Now he started to understand the saying. They were not weak, they were actually quite strong because letting the love of your life go takes courage and also breaks a person beyond repair. But you are willing to suffer if that means the other's happiness. That is true love, isn't it?

It was the only comfort in this horrible situation. To know that their love was true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is coming to an end soon and I really need feedback, so let me know what you think and feel free to shout and scream at me. I will understand.


	21. Chapter Twenty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments and kudos, you guys are the best!
> 
> This chapter is kind of a filler, but I promise it has a purpose.
> 
> Unbeta-ed chapter, blame all mistakes on me.

Thomas was a complete emotional wreck, it would be useless to deny. He barely dared to look in the mirror, afraid of his pale face and empty gaze. It had been two days since he had last seen Mario. In the next morning, he had sent a text message to Emma, saying 'Don't worry. We broke up.' She didn't reply but then called him later to ask how he was. He said the truth. He felt terrible and needed time and for once, Emma honoured his wish and let him be, and even called Joachim to tell him Thomas must rest for a few days due to several medical treatments and wouldn't be going to training. Joachim wasn't happy but understood. Thomas was also grateful for that. He didn't feel he had much to be grateful for so he tried his best to hold on to every little thing he could.

He hadn't been out of his home since. He had barely eaten anything. He hadn't had a shower. He was not living but simply existing. He considered calling his mother and telling her everything but at last decided against it. He didn't want to freak her out by his ghostly appearance and wasn't sure he was ready to talk about his sexuality with her either. She would understand – Thomas hoped, she was his mother after all, - but he was pretty sure she would ask questions Thomas wasn't yet ready to hear, let alone answer.

However, he wanted to speak to someone. Someone whom he could trust and was close but not too close and also knew about Mario. After two days, Thomas realized he did have someone who he could talk to. Mario Götze.

Götze was coming over in the afternoon and it gave Thomas some kind of motivation to make himself presentable again so he shrugged off his PJs –which started to smell by the way, - and headed toward the bathroom, taking a nice long shower. He also opened the windows to let some fresh air in so Mario wouldn't faint from the smell.

Mario came a bit sooner than expected and though Thomas thought he was fully ready to have a guest, life proved him terribly wrong. He opened the door with a small yet genuine smile but after five seconds it turned into a grimace and tears started spilling from his eyes, unstoppable. Mario smiled sympathetically and hugged him without hesitation, kicking the door shut while holding Thomas firmly, patting his back.

"It's okay, man, let it out."

"Sorry, I-" Thomas sobbed, trying to stop but he couldn't. He would have been ashamed of it if he hadn't felt so empty. "I don't… know why I, I just, so-sorry." He hiccupped, wiping his eyes furiously as he pulled back. After using several tissues he finally calmed down and they settled down in the living room, both of them sitting on the huge sofa.

"You don't have to talk about it." Mario stated in a surprisingly serious tone.

Thomas managed a weak smile. "You are the only one I can talk to, so…" He left the sentence hanging in the air.

"I'm just telling you don't have to talk about it right now." He clarified. "What about watching a movie first? I've brought some popcorn." He pulled out two packets from his bag and grinned. Thomas nodded. Watching a movie while eating snacks. He could do that.

"What should we watch?" Mario sang-song as he made his way to the kitchen, putting one packet into the microwave. "How about some action, Pirates of the Caribbean?"

Thomas stilled unintentionally as a memory popped up in his mind. "I'd rather not." He said; voice barely above a whisper. Thankfully, Mario didn't push on, either he didn't care or could guess the reason. Judging from his understanding gaze, it was probably the latter.

"Alright. Then what do you feel like watching? A horror movie? Cartoons? Sci-fi?"

"Sci-fi, maybe?"

"I hoped you'd say that." Mario winked conspiratorially. "Is Guardians of the Galaxy okay?"

Thomas nodded.

"Sorry, I didn't bring any booze. Do you have any?"

Thomas gestured towards the bar. His communication was very limited..

"Good god, you are pretty stocked up!" Mario whistled appreciatively. "A glass of whisky? Or some vodka? Hey, can I pop open a bottle of this wine?" He raised it for Thomas to have a better look although Thomas made a sign of yes without even looking. Mario could drink up all his liquor as far as he was concerned at the moment.

Ten minutes later, they were sitting on the sofa with two glasses of wine on the table and a huge bowl of popcorn between them while a kid just got taken by an alien ship. And for the first time in two days, Thomas felt like he wasn't as much of a wreck as he thought, even if it was only for a fleeting second. Life went on and he had to get back into it, the sooner the better.

However, he had to speak about it and now was a time as good as any. After the movie had ended, they continued drinking and talking about nothing important but eventually they had run out of topics. Thomas was gathering his courage to start the real conversation when Mario spoke out of the blue.

"You should give yourself some time." Thomas frowned a little so Mario kept going. "It happened only two days ago. He needs to clear his head and so do you. Then you can sit down and discuss the situation as a couple."

"Mario, he broke up with me." Thomas pointed out with a sad sigh. "We are not a couple anymore."

"Well, just because you had a fight doesn't mean you are no longer a couple. I fight with Marco all the time."

"But that's different. Thomas claimed, his voice extremely weak. "We are not the same and we have never fought before. You should have seen him. He acted like he didn't care at all." Thomas was proud of himself not starting to cry yet but he was very close to. The memory was too fresh, too painful to be brought up.

"Honestly, I don't know much about Mario but maybe it's just his way of dealing with things." Mario suggested.

"So you think that's completely normal?" Thomas glared at him accusingly.

"Of course not, no need to get defensive. I'm just saying he is acting dumb and you shouldn't make any careless decision."

"I can't even make a decision." Thomas admitted, taking a large gulp of his wine. He was glad for the drinking, it helped him speak.

Mario smiled softly. "It's fine, you take your time."

"I wish it was that easy. It's a miracle Emma hasn't barged in yet and demanded answers."

"What did you tell her?"

"The truth. That we… broke up."

Mario shrugged. "Then she should be content. Don't worry about the stupid press, worry about your own well-being. That's the best advice I can give."

"Thanks man, I really appreciate it." Thomas managed a weak smile as Mario knocked their glasses together and winked.

Talking did help a bit but Thomas still wasn't closer to making any kind of decisions. He didn't want his relationship to end like that but he had no idea what to do in order to save it.

~

"I really don't think it's a good idea." Marco repeated for like the tenth time.

Sam scoffed. "Bullshit! He needs to talk about it. After all, he will have to, eventually." She insisted.

"Yes, eventually." Marco emphasized. "Not right now."

"It's been more than a week!" She exclaimed.

"A week isn't that long." Marco reasoned.

"He would feel better if he talked about it." Sam pointed out.

Marco sighed while he ran his fingers through his hair. "Sam, boys and girls are not the same. You talk about your feelings all the time while we prefer to keep quiet and deal with, for example, a heartbreak, alone."

"But obviously he can't deal with it alone. Have you seen him lately? He looks like a fucking ghost!"

"Sam, please." Marco sighed wearily. He really didn't want to be dragged into this.

"Okay, how about this?" Oh, Marco had a bad feeling about it. "We go and surprise him at work. Go out for a drink, maybe. Then chit-chat about unimportant things and see if he wants to speak about Thomas."

"I don't-" Marco started but had to admit it wasn't actually a bad plan. And he was sure Mario could use a little bit of distraction. "Fine, but if he doesn't want to talk about Thomas, you won't push him."

Sam agreed reluctantly. "Fine."

"I'm not kidding." Marco warned her.

"Alright, fine, I know, okay? I promise."

"Good. I'll pick you up. When does he finish his shift?"

"Around 9 I think."

"Then I'll pick you up at 8:30."

"Excellent. Bye."

"Bye."

Sam hung up and though she wasn't happy with the outcome she hoped Mario would want to speak about Thomas. She couldn't bear watching her best friend suffer and do nothing. For a brief second, he considered calling Thomas but quickly dropped it, knowing it would only make things worse and none of them needed her help no matter how much she wanted to do something. But clearly, this relationship wasn't over, not when Mario had been walking around like a living corpse in the past week.

~

"Big plans for tonight?" Mario asked curiously, grinning at his lover from the doorway.

Marco rolled his eyes. "You could say that. Sam is determined to get Mario talk about Thomas."

Mario made a worried expression as he sat down beside Marco on the sofa. "Are you sure it's a good idea?"

"I'm pretty sure it's the worst idea. But she has a point in taking Mario out to see the world again." Marco sighed, leaning against Mario who started playing with Marco's hair fondly.

"But he does go to school and work, right?"

"Yeah, but you know, that's not the same. Whatever, a little drinking couldn't harm. I doubt he will talk though."

"It's a pity to see them like this. I wish we could help them." Mario wondered, placing his chin on top of Marco's head.

"We help enough. The rest is up to them." Marco shrugged nonchalantly, causing Mario a surprised look.

"Do you even care?"

Marco pulled back and looked him in the eye. "Of course I do care, they are our friends and it sucks but it's they who have to work it out. We can't do anything but watch it happen."

"Maybe we could help them talk to each other?" Mario started slowly but before he could add anything further, Marco was holding his hands up.

"Oh, no, no fucking way. Just nope. Don't get all Sam on me. We have no right to intervene so you better drop this crazy idea of yours."

"But Thomas obviously wants to talk to Mario." Mario reasoned.

"Yes, and he obviously has his phone number. Did he call him even once?"

"No." Mario replied, reluctant to admit Marco had a point.

"That's right. See? He needs more time. He will call him when he is ready. Now, can we drop this topic? We have spoken of nothing else but them in the past week."

"Well, I'll drop it for now but I can't promise anything." Mario grinned and Marco shook his head resignedly but didn't say a word.

Surely, the last thing Thomas and Mario needed was to get their friends involved in their lovers' quarrel.


	22. Chapter Twenty-one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't want to keep you guys in the dark; I have finished the story. Yay! Since it is soon coming to an end I will start updating more regularly. Stick with me!
> 
> Fair warning: more angst.

Mario wasn't the crying type. He was a doctor, or at least, he was going to be one and dealing with death was part of his job description. However, when the little ten-year-old boy died right under his hands, he broke down. He barely knew the kid and the operation was risky, statistically one out of twenty survived. It wasn't the first time he watched a child die. He never took it easy, but he could always hold himself together. He had to be strong. It wasn't his place to break down.

And now, sitting in the basement between the huge baskets of laundry, crying like a baby while hugging his knees so tight to his chest it hurt, he hated himself. He hated himself for tearing up and practically running out of the operation room, hiding like a coward from the family. He knew someone had already delivered the horrible news. He hadn't wanted to be that one. He couldn't be.

He also felt the tension, which had been building up now exploding, sadness and misery overtaking him. He felt awful. Thomas' face still haunted him, not only in his dreams but also in his waking hours and the pain was almost unbearable yet he couldn't stop thinking about him.

A little selfish part of him wished Thomas would call him, or just appear at work, telling him that everything would be okay and he forgave Mario. What a pitiful thing to wish for. He broke Thomas, who probably hated him, rightfully. He shouldn't have done that. However, there was no going back.

He couldn't see due to the tears so he closed his eyes, hoping this was all just a terrible nightmare and he would wake up beside Thomas, everything being okay.

Soon, sleep took him over.

"Mario? Mario? Mario!" He heard his name being called but didn't want to open his eyes, didn't want to be awake. Living was painful these days.

"Mario, wake up, you can't sleep here." It was a different voice and he felt a gentle shake. Forcing his eyes open, he blinked dumbly at his worried friends.

"What?" He asked; voice hoarse from crying.

Sam threw herself at him with such force his back hit the wall. "Thank god, you're okay. I thought you fainted or something."

"Wha-what are you doing here?" He frowned, looking around and realizing he was still in the basement. He blurrily remembered coming down here.

"Looking for you, obviously." Marco stood over him, arms crossed over his chest, his glance strange.

"One of the nurses told us you ran away after…" Sam added, looking sadly at his friend.

"I'm okay. Just needed some time." Mario said. It was true.

"Indeed, you did." Marco murmured.

"We thought we would come and surprise you, have a drink or go see a movie." Sam's chatter was great, it was distracting at that was what Mario really needed. On the other hand, Marco looked weird, though Mario couldn't quite put his finger on what he looked like. Angry? Disappointed? Sorry? He kept his gaze but couldn't figure out.

"What do you think?" Sam's tone snapped him back from thinking.

"I'm sorry?"

Sam was surprisingly kind. Usually she would have scolded him for not listening, but now she simply repeated the words, even managing a small smile. "I asked if you want to go out or should we take you home." Mario knew pretty well why she was acting this way but for once, he was thankful. He wasn't sure if he could handle a lecture. However, judging by Marco's look, that was exactly what he was preparing to do.

"Home. I don't think I want to be around people." Mario answered weakly.

"Alright, let's get up then." She helped him to his feet.

"Sam, could you please give us a few minutes?" Marco turned to Sam who was a little shocked but Marco was awfully polite and she sensed this was something important so she simply nodded and left, giving Mario an encouraging smile. Not that it would help much.

As soon as Sam was out of earshot, Marco turned to Mario with a serious expression.

"Look, I know this is being hard on you, but you ought to be more responsible. Why don't you take a few days-off?"

"I don't want to talk about." Mario deflected.

"Then don't but get yourself together. You work in a hospital and you can't allow yourself this behaviour." He pointed out bluntly.

"I know." Mario sighed. "It won't happen again."

"I'm not your mom or your boss, you don't have to promise me anything. But you are a grown-up and you need to take care of yourself. If you don't want to talk about it, fine, but I can see that's not true." Marco continued; the truthiness of his words hurting. But Mario knew he was right. He had better get his shit together before they kicked him out.

Marco's featured softened at last and Mario could identify that expression. Sympathy. Smiling, Marco gave him a hug and Mario hugged him back. It was good to have a warm body against his.

"Let's get you home." Marco said when they pulled back and Mario followed him without a word, deep in his thoughts.

Mario could barely remember how he got home and how he ended up on the couch between Marco and Sam, watching some guys running around in a huge maze, fighting robotic creatures. They didn't mention Thomas or what happened at the hospital but Mario started to feel the need to speak about it. After spending more than a good hour on thinking about how to bring the topic up and failing, he decided to go for the truth, plain and simple.

Out of the blue he said. "I shouldn't have broken up with Thomas."

Sam and Marco looked at him stunned then spoke together. "What?"

"It was a mistake." He sighed, popping his elbows on his knees and placing his chin on his palm.

Sam was the first to ask. "Then why did you?"

Mario closed his eyes. He knew this was coming but wasn't sure if he could keep going. He knew he had to get this enormous weight off his heart and maybe speaking would help, but that wouldn't make it any easy. "Rumours broke out about him and he must focus on his career."

"Did he tell you that?" Sam asked bewildered. Mario shook his head. "So, you just decided it for him, right?"

"I can't let him ruin his life for me." Mario claimed but his reason now sounded much like an excuse to him.

"You are supposed to be a couple; you should make decisions together, not in place of each other." Sam pointed out carefully.

There was a long silence before Marco started speaking.

"Man, why don't you just call him?"

Mario shook his head.

"He is not ready." Sam replied for which Mario was glad.

"I don't want to sound like a pessimist or anything, but if you drag this on, it might be too late."

"I know." Mario groaned.

"Do you want me to call him for you?" Sam offered.

"No, he needs to do it." Marco said almost immediately.

Mario nodded, not thrusting his voice. They made it sound so easy but it wasn't. How could he face Thomas after all this?

"If you want help, just tell us. We are your friends." Sam said at last and after Mario's nod, they turned their attention back to the movie, leaving Mario alone with his spinning thoughts.

He called Thomas four days later. He didn't pick up.

~

After a long time of being depressed and utterly miserable, Thomas finally felt life pulsing in his veins as he was packing clothes into his plain back duffel bag. He was going on a trip with half of his teammates. Mats saw something was off with him and though he didn't pry, he wanted to cheer him up. At first, it was Thomas and him but then Erik and Manu overheard what they were talking about and soon most of the team joined; the ones who couldn't due to family business or other plans told them to have a great time.

Mario, Götze of course since he haven't heard a word of Gomez ever since he broke up with him, thought it was a brilliant idea and he urged Thomas to focus fully on his friends and have a great time. It was hard, Thomas wouldn't deny it, and he was constantly trying to find an excuse to call it off, not being sure whether it would be a good idea or not. He still felt too vulnerable, a sight of a homeless person or an injured animal tore him up and he couldn't stop crying for several minutes.

In the end, though, he was glad he went. As soon as he met with Manu and Philipp at the train station all his worries were washed away and they even laughed at Philipp's outraged expression when Manu showed his bag stuffed with at least eight jars of Nutella. Soon the others arrived and Thomas, even if it was only momentary, forgot about Mario Gomez's existence.

Thomas felt like a human being again and was excited when they all got on the train, heading towards the countryside. He switched his phone off on purpose, not wanting to keep in touch with the outside world. This weekend was only about him and his friends.

Everything was fantastic until night fell and they went to bed. They spent pretty much of the first day arranging rooms and packing out and exploring the town. They stayed at a little cosy apartment near a beautiful lake and the spring dressed the trees in mesmerizing emerald green colours. Thomas was taken aback by the scenery he could see from his room. He suspected Mats did have some say in Thomas getting the best room. He ended up sharing the room with Philipp, for which he was glad. Philipp was exactly the type of company he needed right now. Easy to talk to but not prying into Thomas' private life.

Mats, Erik, Basti and Poldi had gone to the supermarket and did some shopping. The others thought they had bought half of the store's supplies when they came back, all four of them carrying at least five bags full of drinks and food. They made a campfire in the garden and roasted bacon and onion and marshmallows, drinking wine like it was water. Needless to say, half of the guys were drunk and the other half was strongly tipsy. It had been a long time since Thomas had felt so amazing.

It was well past midnight when they went to bed and Thomas could hear Philipp snoring almost instantly after he fell into the bed. Thomas thought that after consuming such a serious amount of alcohol he would be fast asleep in record time but his mind and heart had other plans. He lied awake, tossing and turning as memories of Mario kept popping up in his mind in every minute. He felt bad, not sick but bad, like an unexplainable sadness had gotten hold of him. He went to the bathroom, locked the door, opened the tap and sat on the floor, hugging his knees as he let the tears fall free at last.

He felt awful. He missed Mario so badly, there was no need to fool himself. He desperately wanted to call him but what good would it do now? Mario could have just easily called him but he didn't. Obviously, he didn't want to talk. Plus, Thomas swore to keep his phone switched off and he wanted to keep his own promise.

He hoped that everyone was way too drunk or deep in their dreams to hear him though he tried his best to keep his sobs down. He had no idea how long he was there but by the time he got up, the first rays of sunshine were pouring into the room. He washed his puffy, red face and went back to bed while listening to the happy chirping of birds.

Sleep soon came but there was no ease in his dreams as most of those contained Mario.

Would he ever get over him?

~

The next day was even better as long as he had his friends around. They went to swim in the lake, which was pretty cold and he laughed heartily at what a show Basti and Lukas had put up by going into it. He himself wouldn't want to risk catching a cold so he stayed safely on the ground, lying on his back and enjoying the warm sun shining on him. Later, they played football and Thomas enjoyed every second of it, the familiar adrenaline washing him over as he was performing little tricks and scoring three times. He was truly in his element.

Everything was fine until he tripped and sprained his ankle. Nothing serious, luckily, but it was enough to remind him of a certain someone and his mood dropped in an instant. Of course, his friends were already by his side, helping him to his feet and Philipp even had a first aid kit with him, so they treated Thomas quickly. However, he didn't feel like playing anymore. He didn't feel like being around people anymore.

Excusing himself he limped back to the apartment, Manu insisted on coming with him but he saw Thomas wanted to be alone, so once he made sure Thomas was safely lying in his bed he left.

Again, Thomas felt horrible. His fingers were itching to grab his phone and call Mario, tell him what happened, tell him how badly he missed him but he knew there was no way. He wouldn't pick up anyway. Why would he? They were over. Thomas had to learn how to live with that.

His life had turned into a nightmare and even if he wasn't feeling terrible all the time there was this constant emptiness he couldn't get rid of. Nothing helped. Being around his friends, having fun, even playing football wasn't enough to cheer him up fully.

He was pathetic.

He must have fallen asleep because next time he opened his eyes it was already dark outside. He sat up slowly, blinking. Philipp was sitting on his bed across the room, staring at Thomas.

His expression was soft but serious.

"Hey." Thomas said hoarsely, trying to smile but it was more like a grimace.

"Look, Thomas, I know something bad is going on in your life. And I know you are not obliged to tell me but as captain of the team, I'd like to know if there is something serious going on. Also, as your friend, I'm worried about you."

Thomas was so taken aback he could only gape for a good minute before starting to lie. "I'm okay. It's nothing I can't handle."

"I don't believe you. In case you didn't know, you are crying in your sleep. And I know you were crying yesterday night, too."

"I-" Thomas started but knew it would be pointless to keep lying. He looked down, sighing. "I can't tell you, sorry."

"You know you can tell me anything."

"I know, it's just. I can't. I have to deal with it myself."

"You have a way of closing up every time something bad happens to you. The point of being in a team is not to have to deal with things alone. We are a team, and not only out on the pitch."

Thomas' eyes stung as he listened to Philipp. He was truly affected by his captain's words. He really wanted to tell Philipp but his reasonable side kept screaming no. There was no point in telling him anyway. His relationship with Mario was over.

He didn't realize when Philipp sat beside him but when he felt Philipp's arm around his shoulder he just couldn't keep it together anymore and burst into crying, hugging Philipp so tight it must have hurt him. Philipp didn't say a word though, just held him firmly, stroking his back in a soothing way.

"I'm sorry, I-I don't… so-sorry." Thomas sobbed. The harder he tried to stop the more tears would come.

"Shh, it's alright. Don't hold back." Philipp whispered gently.

"I just, it's so hard, you know." Thomas pulled back a pit, wiping his tears furiously. "With this injury and-" He caught himself before saying the name.

"Thomas, it's okay. You don't have to tell me-"

"No, I have to." Thomas said suddenly, finding his voice. An idea came up in his mind and probably it was the stupidest ever. It would surely ruin his career if not his life and he had no idea what he would do if he had really lost everything. But somehow he knew this was the right thing to do. He had to take the jump and not be bothered by how high he was or how hard he could fall. He had to trust himself.

He sat straight, feeling shockingly confident. "Please, just listen until I'm finished."

Philipp nodded, staring at Thomas with genuine curiosity and worry.

"So, the whole story started after the World Cup when I was at the hospital. That's where I met Mario."


	23. Chapter Twenty-two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mondays suck and it's already Monday here, so here's a chapter for y'all to get your week started.

Philipp listened without a word and though Thomas sometimes had difficulties to speak about Mario, he told Philipp all of his relationship with him. The beginning, the middle, and the painful ending. Also the rumours and how Mario had broken up with him and how broken he had been ever since. Add his injury and ever-constant doubt of being able to be a professional player again, it was no wonder Thomas felt like a wreck.

When Thomas came to an end of describing his idea which was more of a plan by now, Philipp smiled at him softly. "I can't make decisions in your place and I'd hate to lose you as a teammate, but if you are sure this is the right thing, then you should do it."

Thomas' jaw dropped. "You've gotta be joking."

Philipp let out a joyous laugh. "Why would I?"

"I just, I thought you'd be trying to talk me out of it or scold me or, well, yeah, something like that." He admitted sheepishly.

"It's your life, Thomas. You have to do what you think is best for yourself. You have my full support and I'm pretty sure the others would say the same if they knew. Anyway, when could anyone ever tell you what to do?" He grinned and Thomas reciprocated.

"True." He took a deep breath, voicing one last doubt. "So, it doesn't bother you? Me and Mario being a… couple."

"Thomas, I've known you for years. If you seriously think that you being gay would change my opinion about you, you must think really low of me."

"No, I'd never, no way. I'm just, surprised I guess. You took it too well." He admitted.

Philipp sent him a knowing smile. "I might have read a few of those rumours and saw how happy you were around Mario."

"You-you knew?" Thomas stuttered, surprised.

"Well, I wasn't sure, but suspected. Yes."

Thomas buried his face into his palms. "Oh, great." He groaned.

Philipp laughed and patted him on the back. "Oh, c'mon, everyone who is not blind could see how cheerful you were when you were still with him. If you think he is worth the risk, then give it a try."

"But what if it won't matter anyway?"

"There is only one way to find that out." Philipp stated. "But I'm with you. The team will be with you. Now get up, we are having a dinner party downstairs and everyone must be wondering what the hell is taking us so long."

He grabbed Thomas' hands and pulled him up to his feet then gestured towards Thomas' bag, suggesting he should change out of his PJs.

~

"I tried calling him." Mario sighed, tossing his slice of roasted chicken breast on his plate.

Sam eyed him cautiously, not daring to interrupt. She finally persuaded Mario to join her for dinner but she knew it was a fragile victory.

"His phone is switched off. Or he banned me." He added bitterly. "Probably the latter."

"Maybe his battery simply died. It happens to everyone." Sam suggested, choosing her words carefully.

Mario shook his head. "No, that's not like him."

"How many times did you try?"

"Once."

"Once?" Sam repeated, trying not to sound bewildered. She took a deep breath. "I know this is hard but you should try more than once."

"Well, what am I supposed to do? He won't pick up if I call." Mario snapped.

Sam simply took out her own phone and slid it to him across the table. "Try with mine, then. We will know if he banned you or not."

"I don't-"

"Just fucking try it. You want him back or not?" Sam pointed out plainly, getting edgy. She was getting tired of Mario moping, obviously knowing what to do but not wanting to do it.

Mario was so surprised he dialled Thomas' number before he knew. Thomas didn't pick up again.

"He is switched off." He announced, giving the phone back to Sam who smiled gently.

"See? I told you. Maybe he has training. You should keep trying."

Mario only grunted. He wasn't sure he could look Thomas in the eye ever again. Maybe Thomas was already over him and didn't want to talk to him. He had every right. Mario would understand. He wouldn't want to talk to himself after what he had done.

~

The rest of the weekend went well and Thomas actually had fun now that he got things off his chest by talking to Philipp. Also, he had a plan he was determined to carry out and being with his friends was a great distraction of what the consequences of that certain plan might be.

When he got home, the first thing he did was to switch on his phone and call Emma. She picked up after a few seconds.

"Yes?"

"Hey. I've been thinking." Thomas started slowly.

"I have a bad feeling about this." She wasn't wrong, Thomas thought.

"I'm quitting football. And I want to come out." He said plainly.

There was a long silence. Then.

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?!"

Thomas had to hold the phone at arm's length from his ear if he didn't want to turn deaf. Emma's tone was so high pitched, Thomas wondered how her vocal cords could endure it.

"No, I'm not. I thought this over a hundred times, trust me."

"I don't trust you. You have no idea what you are going to do. It will ruin your life." She emphasized the last sentence, stretching out each word. Thomas was starting to get pissed. He made up his mind. Why did she think he wasn't capable of making decisions about his own life?

"Yes, as you said, my life. It's my choice."

"Thomas, please, I understand that this thing with Mario-"

Thomas cut her off rudely. "No you don't."

"Please, if you are only doing this for him-"

"I'm not doing it for him. I'm doing it for myself." Thomas hissed. "Now are you going to help me or not?"

There was another long silence then Emma let out a defeated sigh. "Fine. How about a TV interview?"

"Sounds good to me."

"I'll make the arrangements. We will talk to Joachim together. Don't do anything stupid."

"I love you." Thomas smiled, feeling so much better in an instant.

Emma snorted. "Well, I don't." And she hung up.

Thomas couldn't wipe his grin off. He was doing something for himself at once and it was an amazing feeling, even if the consequences might be disastrous.

He decided to call someone who deserved to know it all before the whole world.

"Hey, mum, can you come over? I need to tell you something in person."

~

Needless to say, Mrs. Müller was rather disappointed. Not because of Thomas' sexuality but because Thomas had kept his relationship with Mario in a secret. She was understanding and supportive, like a mother was supposed to be, but Thomas felt his stomach taking backflips at how sad she looked. He knew he should have told her sooner but he didn't know how and he was too afraid of what she might have said.

Anyway, he did it and they would talk to his father together. Thomas suspected his father wouldn't take it as well as his mother but he owed him the truth, too, so he had to get over with it.

His father was outraged and disappointed, something he didn't fail to tell Thomas at least once in every five minutes. Thomas had expected it. His father had been proud of him and Thomas' decision of coming out and giving up football must have been a slap to his face. However, Thomas had to do it. He felt it was the right thing to do even if his own father was against him. His mother did everything to calm him down and helped Thomas explain everything and by the time they were done, his father wasn't shouting at least. Thomas took it as a huge achievement and left.

There was no turning back, Emma had arranged and interview for Thomas on Friday evening. She and Thomas had a meeting with Joachim on Wednesday, where Emma outlined the plan and Thomas ensured he was doing it for himself. Even if it wouldn't change a thing with Mario and he, at least Thomas could ensure that similar situations wouldn't happen in the future.

Joachim was very diplomatic about the whole thing. Obviously, he wasn't happy with the possibility of losing one of his best players but since Thomas hadn't completely healed and even though the doctors were positive about his full recovery, there was no guarantee, he accepted his choice. He also promised he would do anything in his power to protect Thomas.

On Thursday, Thomas made the announcement in front of his teammates. Both Joachim and Emma thought it would be for the best. Joachim wanted Thomas to tell his teammates in person before announcing it in national television and Emma said it was a good practice anyway.

Thomas didn't think he had ever been that nervous in his life but he knew he had to go through with it. He had tried to come up with every possible outcome but still, he was anxious.

It was shocking how supportive Emma became of him. Once she understood Thomas was really doing this for himself and explained everything to her, she hadn't left him alone and practically moved in with him. Thomas' house turned into some kind of headquarter even though Emma claimed it was completely normal to have three laptops working at the same time and constantly talking on the phone to someone.

It was great, Thomas was very grateful for it because he didn't have time to think about Mario. Briefly, Thomas considered calling him but he had no idea what to say and since Mario hadn't tried to get in touch… maybe it was for the best.

It still hurt but with everything going on, Thomas barely had time for his heartbreak. He was too nervous about the upcoming interview and how everyone would react.

The reactions of his teammates were various. Most of them were shocked or surprised at least, but Thomas could spot some amused expression and knowing grins. Poldi whistled and clapped, shouting "All right, losers, pay up!"

Thomas didn't know whether to laugh or cry when Basti, Manu, Mesut, Benny and even Miro handed him some cash.

In the next second, Poldi was by his side, patting his back while grinning. "Thanks, man. I'm gonna buy you dinner with all this money."

"I can't believe you bet on my sexuality." Thomas said slowly to his teammates, half-amused, half-offended.

"Oh, we didn't bet on that. We bet on whether you would admit it or not." Basti grinned cheekily, shaking Thomas' hand. "You've got some balls, Tommy, I didn't think you'd come out."

Thomas was staring at him speechless when Manu stepped to him, grinning like an idiot.

"Couldn't help it, sorry." He said, ruffling his hair. "Good luck, kiddo."

Most of them wished him good luck on the interview, some of them told him a few encouraging words and even hugged him and Thomas was so affected he almost cried. Philipp told him they were a team not only on the pitch but he didn't expect this. Not that he was complaining. But his teammates taking it so well could only mean one thing: the worst was still coming.

He was a helpless pessimist, apparently.

After convincing Poldi not to buy him dinner, he left in a daze, lost in his thoughts as he walked along the long corridor. He almost cried, again, when he thought about not being able to play. Joachim assured he would never kick Thomas out of the team just because he was gay, or at least Bi, but Thomas knew what a pressure the fans and the media could put on him. He wouldn't blame Joachim. He made up his mind and there was no turning back.

He was almost at the entrance door when he looked up and froze. A few steps away, someone was standing at the reception desk. Thomas considered running, even if it would be childish, but his legs wouldn't move. He should go, leave, before he turns and sees him. He was not prepared for this. He thought about it, many times, but he was absolutely not prepared for facing him.

Mario turned and froze; a perfect mimic of Thomas' reaction. They kept staring at each other like two dumb idiots, but then Mario composed himself and said in a soft tone.

"Hey, Thomas."

He looked tired. Exhausted. There were dark circles under his eyes and he stood with his back slightly bent. His hair was messy and he was wearing sweatpants. Thomas didn't know what to make out of it. And it only got worse when he realized Mario's eyes were shining in a strange way, looking at Thomas with affection and love. Like he used to.

Thomas coughed to gain some time. "Hello. What brings you here?"

"Doing an assignment. Dad is busy so I had to come here."

"Oh." Well done, Thomas.

"What about you? Don't you have training?"

"Umm, no, we had a meeting. Training will be on tomorrow." Thomas said, feeling incredibly awkward. He wanted to say something. He wanted Mario to say something. He didn't want this embarrassing and useless chit-chat of nothing, he wanted to hug him and kiss him and apologise and tell him what he was about to do but he just couldn't.

"That's good. How's your recovery going?" The fact that Mario was asking about his well-being should mean something but maybe he was simply being polite. Thomas couldn't decide which.

"I'm doing OK, at least that's what the docs tell me." Thomas managed a small smile and Mario smiled back and at that moment, Thomas seriously considered throwing himself at him and hugging him but he refrained from doing so.

"I'm glad you are okay, then." He looked as if he was about to say something else but in the end he didn't and Thomas couldn't take it anymore.

"Well, good luck with your assignment. Sorry, but I gotta go, Emma is waiting for me." Without waiting for a reply, he walked away, not looking back.

He wanted to smack his head against the glass door as he left the building.

Was there really no future for them?

If he had seen the way Mario looked after him, longing and full of regrets, he would have run back to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, so much angst. I just had to go with what I felt realistic. But as a compensation, I tried to write a funny/cute team-scene, which I personally really enjoyed. Hehe.
> 
> Also, I hope you are excited about the interview. Next chapter is coming very soon! ;)


	24. Chapter Twenty-three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea how would a coming out happen in real life, so I warn you there is nothing accurate about that part, I just made everything up. But hey, it's a fanfic, and fanfics are basically made up stories so it's OK I guess.
> 
> Hope you will like it. ;)

"Stop it." Emma scolded him for biting the nail on his thumb for the tenth time. He just couldn't help it. "Everything is going to be alright. We have gone over the questions. You did great. She won't ask anything else." She assured Thomas then added. "Or heads will be falling." She grinned, but Thomas wasn't relieved.

"I'm just-" He couldn't finish it.

Emma smiled and put a hand on his shoulder. "I know. You will do great, trust me."

"And what will happen after?" Thomas asked worried.

"I'm not sure. Let's see how the public reacts and then we will deal with it." She gave Thomas a last pat then gently pushed him forward and into the studio.

Once again, Thomas is grateful for Emma, who had arranged a private interview, so only the reporter and the staff were present.

The reporter was a very friendly and likable woman, no more than 30. She had brown hair and brown eyes and she was wearing a simple, black dress. Her name was Natalie. She talked to Thomas about nothing important as a warming up and Thomas was relieved to find her easy to talk to. She also told Thomas not to stress because of the cameras, only pay attention to her.

Emma was standing beside a cameraman with a serious expression and suddenly another person, probably the director, was counting down. Three, two, one. On air.

"Let me introduce you tonight's guest, hero of the World Cup Finals, Thomas Müller." She started and she beamed at Thomas. "Tell me, Thomas, how does it feel to be celebrated nation-wide?"

Thomas let out a sigh. "I try not to think about it." She laughed heartily and Thomas managed a small chuckle, too. "But honestly, I don't feel special. I did my job. I play football and since I'm a striker, they expect me to score goals."

"Indeed." She nodded then smiled softly. "However, not everything was going smoothly. You suffered a serious injury and you aren't fully healed yet, am I right?"

"Yes. I'm still recovering." Thomas confirmed.

"Can you tell us something about this recovery?" She inquired, leaning forward a bit.

Thomas soothed his shirt. "Well, I'm doing well according to the doctors but there is no guarantee I will be able to return."

She gasped. "But you've already been seen on training."

"Yes, I attend trainings. It's part of my recovery." Thomas clarified.

"And how did your teammates took the news? That there is no guarantee for you to return."

"It made them sad, obviously, but they are trying everything to cheer me up and they try to remain hopeful. Also, training with them helps a lot, especially in a mental way."

"What do you mean?" She frowned.

"I mean, being around, it's as if… well, as if that injury has never happened. I feel normal, you know. When I was still at the hospital, I felt really miserable, but going back onto the pitch gives me strength and hope." Thomas explained, smiling fondly at the thought of his teammates.

"I'm sure it's a great way to deal with it." She nodded. "And do you have any idea what to do if your recovery is unsuccessful?"

"Yes, well, I had to consider the possibility." Thomas took a deep breath. A certain topic was coming closer and closer by every second and it was live, Thomas must do as it had been planned. "I thought about it a lot in the past weeks."

"Is there a reason?"

"Being in a situation like this, it's inevitable. Though actually, there is a certain reason." Thomas straightened himself. "I'm thinking of quitting."

She gasped again, moving her hand to cover her mouth for more dramatic effect. It was scripted of course.

"Is it just a thought?"

Thomas shook his head. "I'm afraid not. I haven't resigned, yet, so it's not official but it will happen soon."

"Can you give us a reason? You said your recovery is going well."

"That's what the doctors keep telling me, but to be honest, I don't feel like it. I could still make it but I would never be as good as before."

"I'm pretty sure you'd still be a valuable member of the national team."

"Maybe, but I won't be satisfied with myself. I don't want to feel like a failure every day."

She nodded in understanding, looking at Thomas sympathetically.

"Do you have any message for the fans?"

"I just want to say thank you, I'm really grateful for all the support and love I've got and I hope they understand my reasons."

"I'm sure they will. However, I have to ask it, is there any connection between your quitting and these rumours about your sexuality lately?"

Thomas gulped. Just stick to the script, he kept repeating in his head. "I'm quitting because of my disability to perform flawlessly. As for my sexuality, I don't think it's anyone's concern but I'm famous and I know what it comes with. People will always gossip and criticise me. I want to dissolve all those rumours. I'm bisexual, not homosexual."

"Wow, that was an unexpected statement." She said appreciatively.

"Well, people don't usually ask about it. And I didn't speak of it either, while I was on the team but since I'm leaving, I think I owe the truth to everyone." Thomas explained, surprised by how easily the words left his mouth.

"What if you stayed in the team? Would your sexuality affect your career?"

"Football is still an awfully homophobic sport, I'm aware of that. Let's be real, it would surely affect my career. However, I'm not quitting because of that. If I will be able to return to my former state, I'd be glad to join the team once again. But if they won't accept me because of my sexuality, then so be it. I'd choose love over money anytime, and if people want to judge me for that, then so be it." He stated the last part confidently.

Thomas wondered if her watery eyes were part of the script too.

"So, you are saying that you are quitting football for now, and then see how things will turn out?"

"Basically, yes."

"That is a very admirable way of thinking." She gave him an approving look.

"If you say so." Thomas grinned.

"Well, thank you for the honest words. I wish you all the best."

"Thank you very much."

They shook hands then the director yelled "cut" and it was over. Thomas felt light all of a sudden. He was free. He had done it. No more secrets.

"You did amazing!" Emma shouted as she ran up to Thomas and gave him a big hug.

"Umm, thanks?" Thomas mumbled.

"It was really great. I hope things will be okay." Natalie smiled and Thomas nodded.

"Thank you. You were very good, too."

She blushed slightly. "Thank you." Then she left Thomas alone with Emma.

"Now, all we have to do is wait. I'm sure the press is exploding right now. And my phone won't stop ringing for days." She added, but didn't look very troubled by it.

"Sorry."

"It's fine, I'm prepared." She shrugged it off. "Let's go before some paparazzi arrive."

Thomas nodded in agreement.

They didn't go home. Emma took him to Götze's place. A day before the interview Thomas called his friend and asked if it were okay to stay with him for a few weeks. Staying at home would be a really bad idea but also was going to his parents' house. He couldn't stay with Emma since she had a boyfriend, even though she insisted it wouldn't be a problem. Thomas wasn't sure he could handle being around happy couples, though, so he tried Mario who agreed almost instantly and promised not to get all lovey-dovey with Marco if he came over. Thomas hoped he would keep his word.

Mario opened the door with a huge grin. "You were awesome, man!" He exclaimed.

"Umm, thanks?" Thomas was unsure. He didn't feel it went that good.

"C'mon, stop with the gloomy face. I've got this expensive bottle of champagne to celebrate. And you're gonna have to open it."

Thomas frowned. "Why me?"

"Because if something breaks I can blame it on you." Mario said cheekily.

"I knew you were only after my money."

"Oh, please, I'd never take money from an unemployed." Mario giggled.

It should have hurt. It should have made him feel sad or sorry at least. But the way Mario said it and how amazing he had felt after getting it off his chest, he couldn't help laughing.

And he needed a drink. Or maybe two. He didn't want to worry about the upcoming days.

And spilling champagne while jumping on the couch with Mario and screaming the lyrics in karaoke made him feel fantastic. It felt good. It felt like freedom.

Even if it was temporary.


	25. Chapter Twenty-four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, the final chapter! I'd like to say a huge thank you to you all who stuck with me until the very end. Your comments kept me motivated and made me so happy all the time, I can't thank you enough. I have to admit there were times when I struggled and cried and thought of giving up on the whole story but I'm glad I didn't. And it's all thanks to you! Hope you will like it, and don't forget to give me feedback! ;)
> 
> Epilogue is coming tomorrow!
> 
> Also, if anyone is interested, I made a [graphic](http://rainbowspirk.tumblr.com/post/118774574915/for-my-fic-the-anchor-to-my-ship-in-storm) for the story.

Thomas' phone kept buzzing constantly. Almost everyone who knew his phone number sent him a text or called him and his twitter feed was flooded with messages though he didn't dare to check those. Honestly, he was waiting for a certain someone to call, but obviously, that didn't happen.

"I'm such an idiot." He sighed, dropping his phone onto the sofa and leaning against the backrest.

"C'mon, he will call." Mario tried to encourage him.

"What if he won't?" Thomas retorted.

"You could still call him." Mario suggested.

Thomas snorted mockingly. "Yeah, and say what? 'Hey, Mario, I've come out for you so can we date now'?"

"You said you didn't do it for him."

Thomas opened his mouth then closed it, thinking it over. "I just hoped it would make things okay between us. I was an idiot."

"You are not. And it's only been what, half a day?"

He was right. It was only eleven in the morning. Chances were Mario hadn't even seen that interview; he rarely watched TV or read news. Maybe he was just busy with his studies and job. However, it didn't make Thomas feel better.

He did it for himself, because he didn't want to do the same mistake twice but deep down he really hoped that Mario would call him.

~

Mario stared at the screen shocked. "The hell is he doing?!"

Sam bit her bottom lip. "Umm, coming out?"

"But- no, he can't do that." Mario stated.

"Well, he just did." Sam pointed out.

A thousand thoughts were spinning in Mario's mind. Why did Thomas do it? Was it really for himself? Was it because of the things Mario had said to him? Was the little chance of being able to play football true? Why was he doing it? Mario did everything to prevent it, to protect Thomas, to not ruin his life and now Thomas was ruining it himself? How could he? How dare he?

"I need to see him." He stated as he got to his feet and grabbed his jacket.

"He is not at home." Sam said casually. Mario stopped at looked at her agape.

"How would you know?" He demanded.

"He is staying with Götze. Marco told me but made me promise not to tell you unless you decide yourself to see him." She explained sheepishly.

This was too much. He couldn't deal with his conspiratorial friends right now. "Well, what- where does he live?"

She grinned knowingly and Mario really couldn't decide whether to hate or love his friends as Sam handed him a piece of paper with Mario's address written on it.

As soon as the door closed, Sam sent Mario a text message. 'He is on his way!'

She got a reply within minutes. 'Finally! I'm gonna get out then.'

Satisfied, she put her phone down and continued reading, hoping for the best.

~

Thomas was lying on the ground in the bedroom, watching a music channel when someone rang the doorbell. He got to his feet to answer it since Mario had to run some errands and left Thomas alone. He had expected Marco. He had expected Mario's family. He had even expected the press. But he didn't expect Mario. Mario Gomez.

And there he was standing right in front of Thomas, looking utterly confused and equally messy. Thomas froze, just like the last time they had met. He was not prepared for this. Once again, he assumed he would be but it turned out he was wrong. Again.

"Er, can I come in?" Mario asked after a bit of hesitation.

Thomas stepped aside then closed the door once Mario was in. He turned, trying to look expectantly at him but truth was he was plainly shocked to the core.

"I've seen that interview." Mario said at last, breaking the awful silence.

Thomas couldn't help being sarcastic. "Like the rest of the world."

Mario gulped. "I- well, I just wanted to ask if you really did it for yourself."

"You could have just called me for that." Thomas pointed out.

"I wanted to ask in person." Mario clarified and Thomas couldn't help his heart skipping a beat.

"I did." He admitted.

"So, it wasn't because of me, right?"

"You wish. I hate to break it to you, but not everything is about you, sorry." Thomas said mockingly and he took perverse satisfaction in seeing the hurt in Mario's face.

"There is no need to be an ass. I just wanted to know."

Thomas rolled his eyes. "Well, now you know." He had every right to be an ass after how Mario had broken off their relationship.

There was another long silence. This was going to the worst direction. Thomas didn't want to be an ass and Mario didn't want to anger him and neither of them wanted to fight but they couldn't help it.

"I think I better leave." Mario said at last and turned and Thomas felt as if icy water had been thrown at him. This was no good, he didn't want this but he didn't know how to make things better. He stared at Mario's back helplessly, feeling his heart being ripped apart yet again. He should say something. Anything.

In the end, Mario was the one who spoke. He turned when his hand was already on the handle, looking sad.

"I was an ass. And I'm really sorry for that. My only excuse is that I thought I was doing the right thing but clearly I wasn't." He said quietly then turned the handle and opened the door.

"Wait!" Thomas almost shouted. Mario stopped and looked at him. Thomas took a deep breath. "I missed you." He blurted.

There was a hint of shock in Mario's blue eyes then his face lit up and he broke into a smile, a smile that could steal away Thomas' breathing any time.

"I missed you too." Mario clarified then he closed the door and approached Thomas.

Thomas looked at him briefly before wrapping his arms around Mario, hugging him tight.

"You are such an idiot." He half cried, half laughed while Mario held him.

Mario nodded. "I know. I'm so sorry." Thomas suspected he was on the verge of tears, too. What stupid dorks they were, Thomas thought amused.

They hugged for several minutes, neither of them wanting to let go. Mario knew he would never let Thomas go ever again and Thomas swore never to let Mario walk away.

"I still can't believe you did that interview, though." Mario admitted; his look amused and fond.

Thomas laughed, pressing their foreheads together. "Me neither. But it feels great."

"You made the whole world go crazy."

At that, Thomas broke into a huge grin, being extremely pleased with himself. "I know."

"So what now? What about football?"

Thomas shrugged. "We will see how the people take it. Joachim promised me a place in the team if I recover fully." It was truly ridiculous how everything went back to normal in such a little time.

"I can't decide if it was the most stupid thing you've ever done, or the bravest." Mario tilted his head a bit, as if trying to decide.

"I think both." Thomas chuckled.

That was all Mario could take. He leant forward and pressed his lips on Thomas' mouth, kissing him gently, as if trying to say sorry once again. Thomas responded, slow and tender at first but then needy, kissing Mario like it was their first and their last kiss, as the world was ending around them, as if he was suffocating. He let that kiss melt his broken heart together and tried to do the same for Mario, pouring every emotion he had in the last weeks into that one kiss.

He didn't know what tomorrow would bring. He didn't know what the future would bring. But he knew it would be okay. He knew he would survive. Because Mario was with him. And Thomas knew he would stay this time.


	26. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After 8 months we have arrived to the final chapter. Thanks for sticking with me! :')
> 
> I'm really happy I've finally finished the story, but on the other hand I'm crying, because it's over. Thank you so much for bearing with me 'til the very end, supporting and encouraging me. This story wouldn't have happened without YOU. I'm truly thankful for it. Also, it's my biggest personal achievement so far, so yay! (26 chapters and more than 50k words)
> 
> As for future works, I can't promise anything. I know you want more, I can understand that since I'm a reader, too, but please understand, this kind of work takes time and effort and inspiration. I don't make any promises since I'm the kind of person who can't keep promises. I'd rather surprise you with a new story than promising one I would never write, or worse, never finish. Hope you understand. We will see what the future brings. If you want to make sure, I suggest you subscribe to me so you will get notifications every time I post a new work.

Something was beeping. It was probably a machine. It was very annoying. Thomas didn't have a computer and his phone didn't make this sound so where was this coming from? He wanted to turn it off but his eyelids were heavy. He reached blindly but something pulled him back. He was starting to panic.

His eyes snapped open.

He wasn't at home. This place wasn't familiar at all. Where was he? There were flowers and balloons everywhere. He couldn't see beyond them. He was in a bed. There were IVs in his hand. There was a monitor beside him.

He was in a hospital.

"Thomas? Thomas!" His mother's face came into view and she practically threw herself at him, shouting for a nurse and making Thomas deaf.

"Mum, what happened?" Thomas asked confused.

She started crying. "We were so scared. You took a head injury during the finals." She explained between sobs, giving Thomas a bone crashing hug. "You've been in coma for weeks."

Thomas froze. This couldn't be. No, this can't be happening. The world cup was a year ago, he came out of the hospital, he was recovering, he was training, he… Mario. He had Mario. He had a relationship. Mario, where was he? This must be a dream.

A nurse came along with two doctors and his mother was ushered out of the room. One of the doctors was Mario's father but Thomas didn't know the other one and the nurse.

"What date is it?" Thomas asked weakly.

"First, I have to ask you to calm down." Dr. Gomez said and the nurse was already handing him some kind of little flashlight. "We need to do some examinations."

"What date is it?" Thomas repeated but once again, he was ignored.

Dr. Gomez moved to look at his eyes with the flashlight but Thomas shook his head, blinking rapidly.

"Please, remain still." He instructed.

"No, what date is it?! Tell me!" Thomas demanded, tossing. The other doctor held him down by his shoulders.

"Get the tranquilizer." Dr. Gomez told the nurse. It made Thomas struggle even more.

"Let me go! Let me go! Let me go!" He screamed, pushing the doctor away but he caught his hand and pinned him down even harder. It was painful. He had to know the date. He had to escape. He had to run. He had to… Suddenly, the world around him went dark and he hoped he was dying. This couldn't be happening.

"Thomas." The voice was familiar. "Thomas?" It was also worried. Thomas felt his cheeks wet. Someone shook his shoulder gently. He sat up straight, panting for air.

"Are you okay?" Thomas looked around. It was dark. He was in a bed. Mario was beside him, staring at him worried.

Thomas started crying.

Mario wrapped his arms around him protectively. "It's okay, Thomas, it was only a bad dream." He kissed his temple. "You are safe. I'm here. You are safe."

Thomas was shaking, clinging onto Mario. He was warm against his body. He had to be real. But it was still dark. As if reading his mind, Mario reached for the lamp on the bedside table and turned it on.

He took Thomas' face between his palms and kissed him tenderly. "It's okay, calm down. It was only a bad dream."

"It was awful." Thomas sobbed, burying his face into Mario's chest. Mario stroked his back gently.

"Tell me." Mario asked. Thomas shook his head. "It will help. It was only a dream, after all."

"It felt too real." Thomas hiccupped. "I was back in the hospital and I- I just, I can't." He started crying again.

"Shh, it's alright. You are not in a hospital anymore. It's been a long time."

"It was right after the finals." Thomas explained, his voice barely above a whisper. "And I thought… it was like, we were never, that we have never-" He couldn't finish.

"I'm here. We are together. Nothing can do us apart." Mario confirmed, kissing the top of Thomas' head.

"It was a nightmare."

"I know. You were crying in your sleep. Then I tried to wake you up and you started throwing punches." Thomas looked up at Mario and saw his bottom lip bleeding.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry."

Mario smiled. "It's okay."

"No, it's not, I shouldn't have-"

"Thomas, you were asleep and I was careless. Stop blaming yourself for everything. I'm okay. Are you?" He looked him in the eye and slowly Thomas smiled. He nodded and gave Mario a quick kiss as if reassuring him.

"Shall we go back to bed?"

"I don't think I can."

"I suggest you not going to the kitchen. You will scare Tara to death." Mario grinned.

"Is she still awake? I'm gonna kick her ass." Thomas was scandalised.

Mario laughed in amusement. "She is fourteen. Really, you should be grateful she is just watching TV and eating snacks at night and not getting drunk with her friends."

"She has school tomorrow." Thomas pointed out.

"Seriously, what time did you go to bed when you were fourteen?"

"At ten. I had training every day." Thomas said as if stating an obvious.

Mario waved him off. "Yeah, sure, I forgot you are not normal."

Thomas slapped him on the shoulder playfully. "You are proud of me, admit it."

"Absolutely." Mario grinned and kissed him.

"I have to go to the kitchen though, I'm hungry."

Mario gave him a look.

"I'm serious." Thomas insisted.

"Fine. But hurry. Give her some private space."

"She has a bedroom almost as large as your previous home, that's her private space." Thomas pointed out.

Mario simply rolled his eyes as Thomas put on his robes and walked out of the bedroom.

Tara was sitting at the dining table with her earphones in while she was watching something on her laptop, her curly brown hair pulled back into a ponytail. She looked up as Thomas appeared, her green eyes lightening up in mischief.

"Hey dad, what's up?" She asked with a grin.

 

* * *

 

"And once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storm's all about."

― Haruki Murakami

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, they have an adopted daughter! ;)


End file.
